Remind me why I want a natural birth!!

[bluedaisy]

With my dd I read SO much about natural birth and was so excited and motivated to birth naturally, and I was able to have a natural birth in the hospital.

With this baby, I am planning a birth center birth.  But the other day I got a stupid update from another parenting website that had a link to a post about how amazing epidurals were.

I was so overwhelmed by the pain during transition with my dd's birth - I got to the hospital at 6 cms and was breathing through my contractions without a problem - the nurse was really shocked I had progressed so far because I didn't appear to be in much pain - and I was feeling confident that I could handle it and i really didn't feel much fear, just a nervous/excited "butterfly" feeling. 

Then transition hit and it was INTENSE - about an hour or two.  After dd was born, I remember saying I was having a c section with my next one and I was never going through that again.

Obviously since I'm birthing in a natural birth center I've decided to go for the natural birth, but that post about how wonderful epidurals were has got me questioning it.  Some of the women talked about having natural births for the first few children and then having epidurals and how amazing the epidural births were.

What about you?  DId you question having another natural birth after experiencing the pain of the first one?  I think I need some reminders about why natural birth is so much better for me and my baby and why i really don't want an epidural, because it's sounding pretty appealing right now!

[AnkaJones]

I'll give you a bunch of reasons, most of which you already know... but let me start by saying that epidurals are not perfect.  One mom told me she had an epidural her first birth and a natural birth second, then another epidural and on her third kid (epidural) she noticed that while with her natural birth she felt pushing, for her epidural birth she felt totally disconnected... it just felt like pressure in her head, which was actually more upsetting than the pushing.  Also, you could get a spinal headache, which can take days to weeks to resolve, and will leave you lying flat on your back (trying to take care of a new baby) while you recover.

Reasons for natural childbirth:

- easier time breastfeeding

- oxytocin is good for you and your baby; remember that most mammals who don't deliver vaginally or are numbed while doing so won't care for their baby.  While you can overcome that lack of oxytocin in a way that a non-rational creature cannot, why not make it easy on yourself?

- you'll have to go to the hospital, have an IV, and miss out on your nice birth center experience

- epidurals don't just take away pain, they take away feeling.

- epidurals carry a higher chance of other interventions (forceps delivery, vacuum delivery, c-section), which will make your first weeks with your LO that much harder

And there are a million more!

Best,

Anka

[Abraisme]

I have had 2 completely natural homebirths and am planning homebirth #3 now.  While my first labor was long and exhausting, I still would have never considered a planned epidural.  The transition stage lasted at least 3 hours with #1, but it only lasted about 15 minutes with #2.  Once everything was opened up, it was really easy to push out another baby.  :)

Remember, your body is designed to give birth naturally.

For every woman that loves the epidural, there's another that's having long term complications from it.  It's possible to have lower back pain for years from an epi!

Bonding happens in a more natural way without pain medicine.  You're more likely to get ppd if you have a lot of interventions of any sort.

You're more likely to get a c-section or other interventions if you get an epi.  Many times pitocin and and epidural are like a hospital birthing package.

With my second birth I used Hypnobirthing.  I highly, highly recommend it.  While my birth wasn't pain-free, it was very manageable and I stayed relaxed through the entire process. 

Good luck, you can do it!

[maptome]

Ha! I've had the same thought.  About the same story as you.  Labored at home for a really long time, arrived at birthing center at 6 cm, 6 hours later started transition, except I was in transition for 4 hours! and pushing for 2.  So, yeah. I'm scared, but gonna do it again because I think it's the best thing for baby.  But I do question it when I hear my friends talking about their epidurals.

I have a friend who had a baby two weeks ago.  She decided to induce at 39 weeks so that she would not go into labor naturally in the middle of the night and be tired afterwards.  Well, I rolled my eyes at this, of course.  Then, I find out, she goes into the hospital at 9:30, and has a baby by 1pm. no. pain. at. all.  Her second baby, and she's never felt any kind of contraction.  So tempting!

[lizsky]

Previous posters have covered most of it already.  I think epidurals can be appropriate at times (like maybe for a mama who has been in labor for 36 hours and is exhausted), but I think what I loved about having a natural childbirth was that I felt SO NORMAL afterwards...I had normal sensation in all my body parts, I could cuddle my sweet daughter and I felt fully present.  Will a tub be available to you at the birth center?  The jacuzzi tub in my hospital room helped a lot when I was in transition and when I was pushing for 2+ hours.  

[bluedaisy]

Ankajones and abraisme - thanks!!  it was really helpful to read your posts.  I KNOW a natural birth is best for me and baby, I guess I was just taken by surprise by the intensity of transition and am scared this time around now that I know what to expect.  I do know a LOT of people that have had a much quicker second birth so I am hopeful that transition at least won't be as long.  I think I need to borrow some natural birthing books from my midwife and get excited again about a natural birth.  the things you wrote were some of the main reasons I chose a natural birth with my first.  I had an appointment with my midwife today adn being at the birth center confirmed that I am doing the right thing and I really don't want to birth in a hospital just for an epidural.

maptome - I'm glad i'm not the only one!!!  Wow, 4 hours of transition - that's crazy!  My sister is pregnant with her third (due 6 weeks after me) and had epidurals with her first two with no complications and she thinks I am crazy for not getting one.  It is hard to hear about all the stories of people who slept through contractions (I can't even imagine how that could be possible!) and then woke up in time to push for a few minutes and then their baby was there!  It sounds so much easier than what I went through, but of course I know for every story like that there is also one of someone who had complications or an unwanted c section or whose epidural didn't work and they could still feel pain but not move.  Glad to hear you're doing it naturally again - good luck!!!

[bluedaisy]

lizsky - thanks!   that's is really true, I recovered SO quickly from my natural birth and got up and walked into another room minutes after birth - I was feeling pretty much completely recovered and back to normal within a few days.  There will be a birthing tub - at the hospital, I used the jacuzzi for a while while I was in labor but I couldn't birth in the tub so I was not in there for transition.  I am glad a waterbirth will be an option for this birth if I want it!

[sosurreal09]

I second hyponobirth! I did hypnobabies with my DD and I can't imagine birthing without it. I wouldn't say it was pain free either but OMG did time fly and I really focused and my body relaxed and I did not fight anything my body was trying to do. It was amazing.

[happy2bamama]

Bluedaisy - know that either choice will have a sacrifice.  The question is, which sacrifice are you more willing to make?  What choice feels better in your gut?  What choice will have you looking back with joy rather than regret?  Often times, we want to make the "right" decision, but as you know with birthing and parenting, there is never a right decision, just the one that we make :)

[tourist.]

Everyone has given really great input already, I just wanted to add another point:  Personally I feel that because the baby is dealing with the physical demands of labor that I need to deal with it as well.  Why should I be able to block out the sensations of the birth and leave the baby to experience it alone?  Just my feelings, but the idea of it doesn't sit right with me.  

I do think epidurals can be an extremely valuable tool, especially during cases of maternal exhaustion, and in general I don't have anything against anyone that chooses one for their own birth.  I have to admit that some of these epidural births momentarily make me jealous, but then I remember the awesomeness of each of my births and I know I made the right decision for me and my sons.

[1love4ever]

I have not had a natural birth yet(planning a home birth in Nov!), but I have had a hospital birth with an epidural, and I will tell you it was NOT amazing!  First off, they had to give me 3 epidurals before one even worked.  One of them was put in the wrong place and medication was put into my veinous system which caused me to not be able to breathe unless I forcibly GASPED for breath(this only lasted a few minutes thank god).  Epidurals are painful!  It is 2 shots in the back, one is numbing meds which hurts, the other is the large curved needle for the catheder to go through which you are not supposed to be able to feel because of the first shot, but you still feel it!  My anesthesiologist did not wait for the numbing meds to take effect with the first of the 3 epidurals so I plainly felt a huge curved needle being shoved into my spine(and you hear the POP sound of your skin and muscle breaking as the needle goes through).

Anyway, you then have to lay flat on your back which is extremely uncomfortable, I had a hard time breathing because of my large stomach.  I also had to be catheterized which could have led to a UTI.  Your baby gets less blood flow when you are on your back.  You do not know when to push, I was fully dilated for some time before the nurse came and checked me and realized I should have been pushing.  I had a huge labial tear because I was flat on my back which is a terrible position for giving birth.  Pushing also takes a lot longer so you get more wore out because flat on your back with decreased pushing ability because of the numbness is not an ideal position for giving birth!!  Many women end up having to have episiotomies, vaccuum extraction, and/or forceps used because they cant push their babies out.   Afterwards for weeks your back hurts like hell from the epidural, and some womens legs stay numb for weeks and they have lots of problems like that.

Also meds during pregnancy are thought, by some, to cause cancer and other probs later in life for the child.

And breastfeeding is harder because your baby is also affected by the drugs, so they are very sleepy and will hardly wake up to eat and cant hardly stay awake long enough to get anything out.

I also feel like I was robbed of a good birthing experience.  I did not feel proud of myself afterwards.  I did not feel empowered.  I did not feel like I did anything at all, and I did not feel special.   I didnt even feel like I gave birth.

It is heartbreaking to me to tell you my story because I just feel like I was completely robbed of such an important and once in a lifetime experience.  Even tho I will have more children, when will I ever get another chance to give birth to my DD?  Never, that was ruined already.  I also feel angry at the current medical system for making this experience so routine and "normal", and for actually pushing an epidural on me(I did not know anything about natural birth at the time, but even still I wanted to wait to get the epidural, but the nurses pushed and pushed me until I finally consented).   When you are pregnant you envision your birth(or at least I did) as a happy, special, beautiful time and are so excited for that time to come.  For me, yes I got something special in the end, my DD, but the entire time leading up to holding her in my arms was absolutely miserable, and in a very unnatural way. 

I see and hear women who have had wonderful birth experiences and feel a sense of accomplishment from it, and feel very happy about it, and I am saddened because I missed that.

[cameragirl]

I was pushed into a c-section last time. This time I'm planning a VBAC without pain meds. I was lucky to have a very good nurse anesthetist, and the spinal went in painlessly. The c-section experience is so unnatural, though. Everything about it felt wrong. It felt wrong knowing the exact time my baby would be here. It felt wrong walking into a delivery room without ever going into labor. It felt wrong to have a curtain up so that I could not see my daughter being born. It felt so wrong to have her on the other side of the room, and then rushed to the NICU because she was having trouble clearing fluid from her lungs. I was stuck in recovery by myself, with a horrible case of the shakes and what felt like ants on my skin from the medication. I sat there for an hour by myself before I ever got to hold my little girl. I don't remember much of that day, mostly because they had to keep dosing me to fight off the side effects of the medication given during surgery. I think that experience is what we DON'T want when we want to go naturally.

Reasons I want to go naturally this time:

- I can labor at home and show up as close to pushing as possible
- Being able to feel my body and move around will help contractions and pushes be more effective
- Not having an epidural will allow me to try different pushing positions if I need to
- I HATED not being able to feel anything below my breasts with the spinal. It was a very creepy feeling
- My husband can help deliver the baby, as we planned to do last time
- I will be able to have immediate skin to skin contact, as well as breastfeeding
- Preventing interventions from the beginning means that I'm less likely to have another c-section
- Having the natural hormones in my system will help with bonding, breastfeeding, baby's transition, and pain relief
- My hospital stay will be short, compared with 5 days last time after the section

(I would prefer a home-birth, but due to a medical condition, it is probably better for me to deliver at a hospital. I found a good OB that supports my decision and prefers that mamas go into labor on their own, even with twins and VBACS.)

[sosurreal09]

Well for me the biggie is there is a risk of seizures with an epi and we have a history of seizure disorders in out family. Something to consider if you do too.

[lizsky]

Quote:

Originally Posted by bluedaisy 

lizsky - thanks!   that's is really true, I recovered SO quickly from my natural birth and got up and walked into another room minutes after birth - I was feeling pretty much completely recovered and back to normal within a few days.  There will be a birthing tub - at the hospital, I used the jacuzzi for a while while I was in labor but I couldn't birth in the tub so I was not in there for transition.  I am glad a waterbirth will be an option for this birth if I want it!

Hi Bluedaisy, I'm glad waterbirth will be an option this time!  I didn't specifically plan a waterbirth for my DD, (although I did purposely find out which hospitals and MWs would give me that option) but once I was in the water I really didn't feel like getting out!  I'm not someone who would describe my waterbirth as "painless" by any means, but I would say that the water took the edge off.  It also was comfortable and familiar...I've taken warm baths plenty of times!  And I think that for me, a familiar thing like a warm tub was much more appealing than an unfamiliar procedure that involved large needles like the epidural.  

[phathui5]

Transition is tough, but you're going to feel a lot better following a natural birth than after anesthesia or the surgery that sometimes goes along with it.

[BubbleMa]

Aside from all the benefits to mother and baby...the idea of having a giant needle in my spine freaks me out!  That right there is enough to make me refuse one.  Just the thought makes me shudder.

[Abraisme]

  I bet that you'll have a wonderful, natural birth this time.  :)
 

Originally Posted by 1love4ever 

I have not had a natural birth yet(planning a home birth in Nov!), but I have had a hospital birth with an epidural, and I will tell you it was NOT amazing!  First off, they had to give me 3 epidurals before one even worked.  One of them was put in the wrong place and medication was put into my veinous system which caused me to not be able to breathe unless I forcibly GASPED for breath(this only lasted a few minutes thank god).  Epidurals are painful!  It is 2 shots in the back, one is numbing meds which hurts, the other is the large curved needle for the catheder to go through which you are not supposed to be able to feel because of the first shot, but you still feel it!  My anesthesiologist did not wait for the numbing meds to take effect with the first of the 3 epidurals so I plainly felt a huge curved needle being shoved into my spine(and you hear the POP sound of your skin and muscle breaking as the needle goes through).

Anyway, you then have to lay flat on your back which is extremely uncomfortable, I had a hard time breathing because of my large stomach.  I also had to be catheterized which could have led to a UTI.  Your baby gets less blood flow when you are on your back.  You do not know when to push, I was fully dilated for some time before the nurse came and checked me and realized I should have been pushing.  I had a huge labial tear because I was flat on my back which is a terrible position for giving birth.  Pushing also takes a lot longer so you get more wore out because flat on your back with decreased pushing ability because of the numbness is not an ideal position for giving birth!!  Many women end up having to have episiotomies, vaccuum extraction, and/or forceps used because they cant push their babies out.   Afterwards for weeks your back hurts like hell from the epidural, and some womens legs stay numb for weeks and they have lots of problems like that.

Also meds during pregnancy are thought, by some, to cause cancer and other probs later in life for the child.

And breastfeeding is harder because your baby is also affected by the drugs, so they are very sleepy and will hardly wake up to eat and cant hardly stay awake long enough to get anything out.

I also feel like I was robbed of a good birthing experience.  I did not feel proud of myself afterwards.  I did not feel empowered.  I did not feel like I did anything at all, and I did not feel special.   I didnt even feel like I gave birth.

It is heartbreaking to me to tell you my story because I just feel like I was completely robbed of such an important and once in a lifetime experience.  Even tho I will have more children, when will I ever get another chance to give birth to my DD?  Never, that was ruined already.  I also feel angry at the current medical system for making this experience so routine and "normal", and for actually pushing an epidural on me(I did not know anything about natural birth at the time, but even still I wanted to wait to get the epidural, but the nurses pushed and pushed me until I finally consented).   When you are pregnant you envision your birth(or at least I did) as a happy, special, beautiful time and are so excited for that time to come.  For me, yes I got something special in the end, my DD, but the entire time leading up to holding her in my arms was absolutely miserable, and in a very unnatural way. 

I see and hear women who have had wonderful birth experiences and feel a sense of accomplishment from it, and feel very happy about it, and I am saddened because I missed that.

[1love4ever]

Originally Posted by Abraisme 

  I bet that you'll have a wonderful, natural birth this time.  :)

Thanks, I am so excited for it!!   Many of my friends who dont have kids ask me why I would want a home birth this time, and I say "You would understand completely if you have had a hospital birth."
Maybe some women dont feel as strongly about it as I do, but my goodness I had no idea what I was getting into when I checked into the hospital, and I was sooooo disappointed almost the entire time I was there.  From being confined to bed even when I did not have the epidural, having very uncomfortable fetal monitors strapped to me at all times(I was not high risk, they just told me these things were routine and required), the nurses being so rude, not being allowed to eat or drink, and after getting the epidural having to rely on every one else for everything.  I couldnt do anything my self.  And worst of all, seeing my DD born and feeling like I was just an observer of this miracle of birth, not like I helped at all.  Not to mention that because I was lying on my back, her shoulders got stuck inside after her head was born, and the Dr PULLED on her head to get her out which I later found out she was NOT supposed to do, and it could have paralyzed her or caused her to have cerebral palsy or something......    But since I was dead from the boobs down I could not get into a better position to correct the shoulder dystocia instead of the Dr doing what she did, and I could not push as well(because I was completely numb) to help with the situation either.

[LilMomma83]

My happy medium is "natural" with an IV when I get to transition..I had one because I asked for meds my last 2 births (the first I had stadol which was a terrible experience for me and baby - we were totally out of it - the second I asked for an epideral but they didn't give it to me lol), but, both times just the IV made me feel so much better - I still hurt, but, I could focus a lot more on breathing through the contractions, pushing etc...this time I am going to tell them right up front to PLEASE give me an IV when I reach transition - or even at whatever point I stop being able to walk around...I will probably have them stick me and cap it as soon as I come in so it is ready. Just what worked for me....you could probably just have them push fluids more too..for me I just can't seem to drink or eat enough it makes me feel so sick, so I get weak and dehydrated which just makes the pain and all so much harder for me to deal with which is probably why the IV was best for me.

[Psmythe]

Originally Posted by bluedaisy 

I KNOW a natural birth is best for me and baby, I guess I was just taken by surprise by the intensity of transition and am scared this time around now that I know what to expect.  I do know a LOT of people that have had a much quicker second birth so I am hopeful that transition at least won't be as long.

Let's just turn this sentence around and make it work for you...

Since I know what to expect this time around I won't be taken by surprise by the intensity of transition, so I won't be as scared.

Not being scared has a lot to do with how much the intense physical sensations of labor are interpreted by the brain as pain, and how much as pressure/other sensations.