**Update** Looking for perspective: DS having difficulty at private PK - Page 2

[Peony]

I literally was reading this thread with my mouth open. He is 3! And he sounds like a very normal 3 year old, what they want is a 3y that is completely placid. While I understand the shock that you must of felt and the self doubting of thinking something is wrong with you or your child, (which is not the case), do consider yourself lucky that you escaped this school after just days. That is exactly how you should look at it, consider yourself lucky, and move on with your normal 3 year!!

[One_Girl]

I don't think this has anything to do with being an IB school.  My dd is in an IB charter school and they are amazing at supporting all children at the level they need support.  They integrate all kids into the classroom as much as possible and have a Special Education teacher who specializes in providing support to the students and teachers to the extent that they need it.  They do a wonderful job of blending reasonable expectations with a high standard for learning.

I don't think there is anything going on that isn't normal and easily redirected behavior.  I think the issue is that the school has enough of a waiting list that they can kick kids out without giving them much of a chance.  A child who tests from day one is often a child who is going to take a lot of time and energy, most kids wait a little while to get to know their teachers before they start testing.  At an exclusive private school they can decide just how much energy to put out and it sounds like they are going with none.  I can't imagine how awful this must be. 

My dd also tests a lot from day one and I can't even imagine the horror I would feel if she was kicked out of school because of this.  Try to focus on the positive that came out of this, he is not going to have to spend time with a person who expects kids to act like adults and his exposure to this teacher was so minimal that she didn't have time to make him doubt his self-worth (having been through a teacher who did this to my dd I have to say that this is a very good thing to escape).  You also get your money back and you know that you need to look into schools more carefully in the future even if they do come very highly recommended. 

[seawind]

how dare she. i hope your son was not with you during this meeting.

it was bad enough that they were expecting your son to behave like a little adult, but to have the nerve to imply that something is wrong with him for being a perfectly normal 3 year old! that after not even a week into a completely new school environment. you are right, judging a little child so harshly speaks volumes about this school and the principal. this particular school is not suitable for your son. i understand how awful it feels to have experienced this, but the good thing is that your child will have the opportunity to get into a great school!

if you can, please put out a review of this school, it might help other parents to read your perspective.

[meemee]

*sigh* i think this school IS the norm. trying to put kids in a box is the norm. making them follow the herd mentality is the norm. there is a school here who sells to parents for K- yeah K as college prep school. i was horrified and would go no where near it. that school had a waiting list a mile long. funnily the commercial for that school came on right after the your baby can read commercial. 

dd goes to a typical mainstream public school. yeah parents demand a lot. the first words out of the principal's mouth at open house was 'i know you all have been waiting for the test scores...' parents put so much pressure on the school to be the way they want the school to be.

another school here with a waiting list a mile long -  omg u should have seen the expectations of the behaviour they expected out of their K applicants in a room alone with the tester. my friend who had gone for the test saw it, pulled her son out and pulled his application too. 

it would be interesting to see what the reviews already were for that school. 

[loraxc]

I just want to offer you empathy and say that I'm so sorry you were treated this way. My heart just broke when I read about your little boy telling them he would see them tomorrow. I agree that this is not a good environment but it must be wretched to be going through this. Do you know anyone else who has had children at this school? I wonder if they could shed any light. We had some veiled threats made to us about our DD when she attended a charter school that turns out to have a history of booting out children with special needs of any kind (although your son sounds COMPLELY typical without any special needs at all). Some school administrators intentionally exclude all children that do not fit their very restrictive mold.

[earthmama369]

That school sounds atrocious. As a professional educator or administrator specializing in working with young children, if you can't identify and roll with completely normal developmental behaviors, you're in the wrong field. They sound willfully out of touch.

[meetoo]

I'm sorry you had such a poor experience, but honestly what a blessing!!! Sounds like your son is much better off without that school. Good luck and I hope you find a wonderful accepting place for him. :) 

[lauren]

You have been through such a rough time with this school. I just want to give you a hug!!!!  I wanted to throw a couple of resources your way. You son may be on the spirited continuum, which is great! I have one of them living at my house. Resources about spirited children may be a comfort to you.

http://www.nurturingourfamilies.com/spirited/exptdefn.html

Another thought, is that most great preschools have an established way of responding to and teaching social skills, since that is the point of preschool. See this example for one of the best models that most great preschool programs would be aware of. There is a nice parent section on this website as well. Another great program is the DECA model. These are just well known models that preschools use for actually teaching these skills instead of just assuming that young children have them.

http://csefel.vanderbilt.edu/

Keep getting support here!!!