How long will I be sad about weaning?

[Chloe'sMama]

Hi Ladies-

DD1 is 3 years, 2 months and weaned on Friday.  It was something we were working towards and we took an overnight trip to MIL's house (first ever), to mark weaning.

I am so sad about it.  I have been crying everyday and feel like I have lost the most important bonding time with DD.  She is still asking for it, but no longer cries when I tell her no.  I feel like I was not ready, and DD would have continued, but nursing had been such a power struggle for the past few months and no good for anyone in the house.

I still have DD2 who is only a year (almost), so I have more time with her to nurse, but I am just so sad about DD1.

Any experience, or hugs?

[Chloe'sMama]

No-one ever experience weaning sadness?

[AnkaJones]

Hi,

I'm sure the more experienced moms just haven't had a chance to reply...  so I wanted to give you some hugs.  From talking to moms who have gone through weaning it's very emotional -- you aren't the only one.  We had a mom come back to our breastfeeding group last week who hadn't been there for a while because her child weaned and she was grieving the loss of that connection.  It's special and irreplaceable. 

I wish I could speak from my own experience, but hopefully the other moms will get a chance to post soon.

Best,

Anka

[dejagerw]

In addition, after weaning, your body has to readjust to the change in hormones. After that, you might start to feel better as well.

[Chloe'sMama]

I am still nursing my 1 year old DD.  I have noticed more engorgements, but most of my problem is how I am feeling emotionally.  We have almost made it a week and I just keep thinking how I would love to nurse her again.  

She has stopped asking for it and it has been several nights without any tears (on her end).

I am shocked by how sad I still am.  

[AfricanQueen99]

My experience is different as I was forced to wean my 13 month old to undergo cancer treatment.  We did the cold turkey route and I cried about it for months.  It wasn't until I started nursing the next kid (daughter was almost four when he was born) that I felt over all the feelings.  My sadness stemmed from not allowing my daughter to make a choice in the decision and having it literally ripped from me.

You're at a week out?  It's still such an emotional time.  Be gentle with yourself...it gets easier.  I promise.

[lookatreestar]

its the end of a very special journey, i would be a little sad too! but think of what an awesome start you gave her and the new ways you will bond. 

[P.J.]

I have absolutely no experience to offer, but just

[AngelKissedKids]

Chloe'sMama, how are you feeling now?  Do you feel more confident with your decision to wean?  My DD1 is turning 3 y/o this week and I'm strongly considering making Halloween her weaning date.  I have been tandem nursing for 6 months now and I like the thought of DD2 getting the chance to be an only nursling before we TTC baby #3 in a year or so.  I know I'm going to be immensely sad about losing that bonding time with DD1 though... and letting go of my child-led weaning ideals.
 

Originally Posted by Chloe'sMama 

Hi Ladies-

DD1 is 3 years, 2 months and weaned on Friday.  It was something we were working towards and we took an overnight trip to MIL's house (first ever), to mark weaning.

I am so sad about it.  I have been crying everyday and feel like I have lost the most important bonding time with DD.  She is still asking for it, but no longer cries when I tell her no.  I feel like I was not ready, and DD would have continued, but nursing had been such a power struggle for the past few months and no good for anyone in the house.

I still have DD2 who is only a year (almost), so I have more time with her to nurse, but I am just so sad about DD1.

Any experience, or hugs?

[tropicana]

Originally Posted by Chloe'sMama 

I am still nursing my 1 year old DD.  I have noticed more engorgements, but most of my problem is how I am feeling emotionally.  We have almost made it a week and I just keep thinking how I would love to nurse her again.  

She has stopped asking for it and it has been several nights without any tears (on her end).

I am shocked by how sad I still am.  

i guess i have to throw the question back at you -- if you want to nurse again, and she wants to nurse again, truly what is holding you back??

now is the *perfect* time to set whatever limits you want with her! maybe even, "yes, you can nurse to sleep each night. i will say a prayer (or the ABCs) while you nurse, and then we go to sleep -- OK?"

i guess i'm a proponent of child led weaning to some extent. but the mother gets to set whatever limits she wants, too.

then, when nursing finally does end, there is a more gradual end to it, and neither party has to feel sad or bad about it.
 

[Chloe'sMama]

Thanks everyone for the responses.  we are just about a month out and feeling a bit better about everything.  

Tropicana- I really struggle with this too.  I don't have a huge support group and my DH was pretty much doing everything he could to encourage the weaning process.  I am still feeling a little angry at him for that.  I just don't think I could deal with all the backlash if I started nursing her again (although, she did ask today if she could have some milk).  I don't find myself crying anymore (I feel like it right now though).  

I wish it would have ended differently, but here we are and DD doesn't seem to be too traumatized by it.  I do miss that special time.