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Queer Conceptions~September 2011 - Page 10

post #181 of 277

Rainbow --- Cheers to leaving Florida! I see you're in Seattle too. May I ask what clinic you're using and if you've been happy with them? We have been using Pacific NW Fertility Clinic, though our experience has not been the best. I wish we could find a midwife in the area that is willing to do IUI, but we've not found anyone.

post #182 of 277


KS, congrats on getting you contract done and starting the injections--I hope it goes well for you! Are you excited, or nervous?


Mostly excited... and glad to be getting this show on the road since it's been 7 months since this whole process began!

Originally Posted by DesertSunsets

KS, your contract negotiations and all that come with it sounds exhausting, the meds will be NOTHING compared to that!  LOL.  I'm glad everything is ready to proceed.  Is today your first day of injectables??  Also, if I may ask, did you know the IPs beforehand?  Forgive me for asking if that's information you can't/don't wish to share.  Best of luck!


I met them through a former doula colleague of mine who was helping them to spread the word that they were in search of a surrogate. :) So no, I didn't know them beforehand but we didn't exactly meet at random either.

Originally Posted by carmen358 View Post

Ugh, just lost my post.....


Too much for me to catch up on personals tonight!


I had a great acupuncture appointment this afternoon and I'm looking forward to another try this cycle...hopefully with an earlier O!

Good luck!


Originally Posted by Yeledov View Post

Dandylez: Ah, you are a ttc-er after my own heart! Sushi, a huge coffee and a martini are also how I treat myself after a bfn. I actually call them my "menstrual martinis." This last bfn I replaced the olive with a pepperoncini in my drink so it wasn't "technically" a martini. :)

Oh my, I had forgotten about the margaritas I used to drink after BFNs when we were TTC my daughter! I used to call them my consolation prize. Menstrual Margarita sounds even better!

Originally Posted by kgulbransen View Post

I'm baaaaaaack! I missed my TTC forums but man, was it nice to get away. Cabo was awesome. All I did was lay on the beach, lay by the pool and sip drinks. We don't drink alcohol but it was still nice to order Diet Cokes from my own personal butler at my beach cabana. :-)

Oh man, this sounds amazing!

Originally Posted by SwtRainbowBrite View Post

AFM: Well I am 5DPO and trying very hard to not analyze everything going on in my body, for example I currently have this metallic taste in my mouth and of course my mind automatically thinks oooh could this be related to TTC. But you & both know that it is way too early for anything eyesroll.gif Other than that I am wrapping up my conference in NYC and for the rest of the weekend I will be relaxing and enjoying the sights and sounds of the city orngbiggrin.gif Hopefully that will keep my mind of TTC, but I do want to get an NYC onesie just in case Sheepish.gif


Fingers crossed for you!


Originally Posted by MrsPP View Post

Hello! Just popping in to say the tank is currently "out for delivery" !!!!!! Holy crap! I am fluctuating between complete excitement and total nervousness. So far not stressed or freaking out....mostly just can't wait to get it up there winky.gif Got to hold a 5 week old sleeping on my chest for an hour and a half this morning - I'm hoping he somehow gave me good luck...orngtongue.gif


ETA - right after I hit send on this I checked my email and there was a notification from UPS saying it had been delivered!!!!! Here we goooooo.....!

Yippee!!! I think I am more excited for your cycle than I am for my own. Is that weird? Haha.


Originally Posted by ad astra View Post

afm: so far looks like things are ok beta over 4000 last Wednesday.... impatiently waiting for the u/s on Tuesday. 


Woo hoo! Can't wait to hear how it goes. :)

post #183 of 277

MrsPP: Eeek! How exciting!!! It is a huge difference between getting that tank delivered and carrying "man juice" in a cup from the other room LOL! I think I def prefer the tank aspect, I was able to whisper sweet nothings to it while it was sitting in my living room for luck! I am hoping that beautiful baby was Good Luck for you, I did the same thing when my Doula client gave birth!


Ad Astra: Unfortunately with DP's work schedule she was unable to join me greensad.gif but I still had a pretty good time! I want the days to go by fast I am ready to test and know already! I am not fazed with the notion of twins, I actually welcome it, but it scares the crap out of DP. I am SO happy for you and those wonderful beta results!! joy.gif


Lisedea: Well I leave for vacation (again) on Wednesday and I don't come back until next Sunday. DP isn't coming with me on the trip so I think we may test early but I don't know.


Papa: We are using Pacific NW Fertility and we like them for the most part, they are very LGBT friendly and the staff is super sweet. We have only had 1 issue with them, but it was because they did not want us to insem this cycle because of my 6 "super" eggies. You should check them out. I also have a couple of Midwife/Naturopath recommendations if you would like them. And a VERY LGBT friendly midwife once pregnant!


AFM: I am sitting in the airport heading back to Seattle, and I have to say that I have never been more excited to be going home even though I will be leaving back out in 2 days. I am now 8DPO (OMG) and things are about to get real, really soon! I think we may test before I leave for Atlanta on vacation & to wrap up Wedding things, but I am not sure because I think I would rather see AF than see that 1 line. I have not really been having any symptoms, just sore boobs (normal the week before AF) and creamy CM. My chart has been dipped for the past 2 days, but I also only got 3.5hrs of sleep last night. I am so terrified at either result.....



post #184 of 277

Hello I'm new to reaching out online. Reading everyone else's post, I see that I can relate to the rollercoaster feeling of this process, but what I like the most the boundless amount of hope and faith portrayed in your guys messages. Thank you for this. I'm writing but I need to vent and need some sound wisdom about where I am at today in this process.


I would to introduce myself first. I am 35. My DW and I have been ttc for a year now. I am the one trying. I have had multiple reproductive issues and procedures that have complicated the process (HSG 2x, polypectomy). I have yet to try Clomid type products but I'm thinking that I need to try to do something to lengthen my 2ww period seeing that my luteal phase is only about 10 days. Looking for any angle where I can try to do something. We are using frozen sperm, now from our second facility in Washington.Financial strain is crazy each month: at least 500 dollars. We have considered a known donor sperm but frankly we don't know anyone who would fit the bill.  Its been extremely hard to do this and deal with the emotional ups and downs. No other period of my life has ever been like this. There has been some strain between my DW and I bc of it. 

We got to a place, more accurately I got to a place, where I feel like I needed a month off just to breathe...get my bearings. I didn't want to take a month off bc I couldn't afford, I wanted it to feel more intentional, purposeful, meaningful. I want to have a month of working on straight up good self care: doing all the things that I haven't necessarily been doing for myself, or at least not doing very diligently (exercise, good good sleep, connecting and laughing with my DW, my friends). So this month has gone great so far even though in the back of my head the process that has become ingrained for a year is there (knowing where I would have ordered the sperm, knowing where I would ovulated and would have inseminated the next day)



Everything has been going ok until yday- the day I would have inseminated. I get a call randomly from a friend (who is one of those friends you've been friends with for years, maybe best friends in the past, yet aren't really friends bc in fact you really can't stand them bc of how you feel around them. So you've tried to distance yourself and now you may be more like acquaintances but you have never had the talk about with the friend- its just happened.) Yep I got a call from that friend, who would constantly ask about how the baby making process is going through random text msgs typically on the days that AF come. Well anyways, I get a call from her and hear the dreaded words that SHE IS PREGNANT. I couldn't believe it. I was shocked, and hurt. She never even told me that they were trying, or were thinking about trying. She got pregnant in 2 mths from a known donor. I was shocked and surprised, yet mostly I just wanted to get off the phone before I started bawling. I have yet to have the experience of a semi-close friend getting pregnant while I have been on this journey. News of other people getting pregnant has happened and yet it has felt somewhat distant enough that it didn't really affect me. But this is completely different. When she told me this, it was like a physic told me that I would get my period for the next 6 mths. A part of me wants to feel like its not a big deal- my process is mine and hers is hers.Everything will just happen in its own time for me. It is what it is. And I do want to be happy for her on some level bc I can only imagine the joy she must feel. But another part of me recognizes that it just feels too much, and I need to set more appropriate boundaries for myself around how much I let her in to my life. 


Please any thoughts, pieces of wisdom are welcomed and needed. I need to see this situation from a different perspective.

post #185 of 277


MrsPP!  Congratulations on your swim team arrival.  So exciting!


Yeledov, I’m sorry to hear that Bee is moving further away.  He really sounds like a great guy, I’m so glad he still wants to be your donor and make it work. 

Ad Astra – congratulations on your beta number!  That’s wonderful.  Can’t wait for that ultrasound. 


Papa, can’t wait for you to test next Friday as well!  Good luck!


Brite!  8 DPO is so exciting.  I know what you mean about not wanting to see that single line… but my mind always says, “But, what if it would be positive?!”  Best of luck trying to make a decision on testing, but I’m glad your traveling has kept you busy.  So hopeful for you two this cycle. 


Invitdnconceptn, welcome to Queer Parenting.  I’m sorry the circumstances you’ve found us during are less than easy or pleasant.  My opinion, for whatever it’s worth, is that setting boundaries for this person in your life is a positive step.  However, no matter how many boundaries you set, it will never suck any less that she got pregnant so easily in comparison to your journey.  Something our resident “Lesbodoula” Krista has pointed out several times, and it always helps me, is that this isn’t a baby lottery.  Just because she got pregnant doesn’t mean she took your pregnancy chances away.  Though we can be logical about this and rationalize the whole thing, your feelings are still legitimate and important.  I believe it’s imperative to acknowledge your feelings instead of telling yourself that you’re ridiculous or silly for feeling that way.  You aren’t.  You’re a human being, one who has yearned for a baby for a year now and it is very normal to feel jealous and angry and disappointed. 

Best of luck on your continuing road.  I’m glad you found us. 


As for us, we’re planning out the next cycle.  We haven’t actively been “trying” for very long, but we’ve been preparing and planning since January so it seems that we’ve been doing this for ages.  We are definitely feeling better and more positive as we are able to get our heads away from the negative tests and AF.  Still, we are hoping for a summer birth because that will enable DW to have longer before having to be back at work full time, and we’re quickly running out of months to make that happen.  We’re considering using 3 vials this month, does anybody have any thoughts on that? 


Gelly, could you move us to Waiting to O?


Hope everyone is well, can’t wait for everyone to start testing!  Sara and Ad Astra started something off for us, I’m still waiting for that heap of pregnant queers in here! 


Oh!  One more thing!  Our foster son started walking on his own last night!  He’s been cruising along walls and furniture for weeks now, but last night he just let go of the wall and started walking over to his sister, like he’s done it every day!  HAHA.  My mom always points out how wondrous it is that we’re privileged enough to experience some of these major milestones in our foster kids’ lives.  They may not be with us forever, but we got to see him take his first independent steps.  That’ll be special for us, forever. 

post #186 of 277
invitn--Welcome! I know exactly where you are coming from...two of my close coworkers/friends just recently announced their pregnancy at 3 and 4 months. One of them happened by "accident" and the other has been trying a while and had a miscarriage just after mine last winter. As much as I want to be happy for both of them, the one that happened by accident makes me quite irritated that she hasn't been trying and it worked and the one that has been trying awhile doesn't make it very easy because of how she has been acting (not very sensitive and acting rather selfish). Anyway, since I see them both in a work environment on a regular basis, it takes everything in me to continue to stay happy and positive in my own process. I figure this can only make me stronger...smile.gif. It is so difficult though...I definitely have distanced myself a bit from the two of them in order to keep my sanity. Hang in there!!!
post #187 of 277

lisdea- good to hear that you already have plans to make the best out of your trip off the island.  If it weren't for a medical appointment how often would you make the trip otherwise?



KSdoula- thanks! How are the injections going? Any side effects?


Raibow- I hear you about wanting to and dreading POAS.  I found that living with a little bit of hope and not seeing early BFNs was better but I never made it past 12DPO Without POAS.  Hope you make the right decision for you and DP and of course let us know :).


invitinconceptn-  I'm sorry you are going through such a tough time.  You have found a very supportive community here and I hope that reaching out will ease some of the burden you carry.  We found that since its difficult to predict which of your friends will be most supportive in your TTC journey we decided to not share it with anyone other than our donor.  I too can relate to the sting you feel finding out that somebody else got pregnant so easily and quickly while its more complicated for you. The bottom line is that once it happens for you (and it will)  all those major events and set backs will seems much less significant.  For now if you need to keep a little distance from your friend to maintain your sanity ... just do it. 


Desert- if you are doing cycle monitoring and a trigger shot 3 vials might be a be an unnecessary expanse, but if you are timing O yourself it might give you a better coverage.  Sorry I don't remember how you are going about the process. 

post #188 of 277

Invited: welcome! It is so good to be amongst people that know exactly where you're coming from. One thing I do know, everyone's process is different because what you think might upset you doesn't, and what you think wouldn't be a problem totally is! So I know how you feel. Even though this is someone you're not regularly acquainted with, it still hurts to hear what she has to say. Especially when you feel like it's your dream and she's just taken away a part of it.


I'm the one who said that it isn't a baby lottery and she just took your chance at having a baby. There are enough to go around for everyone! Most all of us here will get pregnant. Unfortunately, it is a matter of time and for some, much longer than others. But I have a lot of wonderful stories of women I've met here and in other fertility support groups who have had very tough journeys but have made it to a live birth. I hope to be one as I've already suffered two miscarriages but I still hold hope. And the days I don't, the women here hold it for me.


Taking breaks and taking care of ourselves is key and very hard to do when you hear the clock ticking. It really doesn't help when docs act like there's no way you'll get pregnant if you're over 20. I swear, they love to personally and surgically insert that biological clock right next to your ear drum where it ticks the loudest! Personally, I think they just want to increase their odds and the younger you are, the better their odds. But that doesn't mean you won't get pregnant so continue to take the time you need to give yourself a breather.


Now onto the medical stuff (which as you'll see, I like to ramble about!) Have you talked to your doc about progesterone supplements? 10 days is borderline luteal phase defect but there are some REs who still think 10 days is okay. I'm at 11 days and I've been taking progesterone for awhile. I'm not sure about Clomid lengthening your luteal phase. I don't believe it's intended to do that. It may lengthen your time to ovulation (from your period to ovulation) and is primarily intended (if you're not using it to bring on ovulation) to get you to produce multiple mature eggs/follies. Have you thought about Femara instead?


Hopefully you will find lots of love and hope here to help you along!


AFM: finished my triathlon today and bettered my time by 25 minutes so I was happy. Here's me glad to be done and ready to eat some pancakes!

Tri Krista 2.JPG

post #189 of 277
Congrats Krista! I am very impressed!

Ad astra--Not nearly enough. I always have a reason when leaving...so it just depends. The only times I left this summer was for weddings (one in May, one is July, one 3 weeks ago) and during the winter we normally only leave over Christmas. We sometimes have to fly off for work--but with my job, I fly directly to my destination (chartered) rather than the airport where my car is so I only go the meetings and then back...not much of a trip off.
post #190 of 277

ad astra: Congrats on great betas!! (I can't remember if I said that already as I'm finding it hard to keep up here lately winky.gif ) How are you feeling?


Brite: I'm looking forward to hearing some testing results from you!!


Welcome, invitn. hug2.gif If there is no obvious reason why your LP is on the short side you can try things like B6 to lengthen it. As someone else said, I would get your progesterone tested and see where that is at. Sometimes, a short LP is an easy fix. Also, not to discount or attempt to lesson your feelings re: others getting pregnant around you hurting.....but I often take comfort in others getting pregnant. Like Krista said, everyone's path is a different one and if someone is happy to be pregnant, I'm truly happy for them. All that happiness and fertility has to have at least a small positive affect on me, right? smile.gif Good luck to you and your DP!


Desert: Congrats to your foster son! SO exciting to see that love.gif


Congrats, Krista, you rock!


Afm: CD12 and the monitor is giving me a high reading. Wha? The last few cycles I've only had 2 or 3 highs before peak. The first month I had a ton of highs starting at CD11. I'm wondering if the monitor is confused by me not using it last cycle or something. I was really loving the monitor because it was taking away most of the guess work for me but now I'm on pins and needles already and I haven't been O'ing before CD21 since my cycles returned. I'll see what happens with all my secondary signs as they all line up together.

post #191 of 277
Originally Posted by ad astra View Post


KSdoula- thanks! How are the injections going? Any side effects?

My only real symptom is tiredness. I also have weird excema-like patches on my hands and face. I wonder if that has anything to do with the Lupron? Anyway, so far so good. Saturday was my last birth control pill and so I'm just continuing on with the Lupron, gobs of vitamins, and baby aspirin.


To everyone: I just wanted to share a link that one of my doula colleagues shared on our mailing list the other day. These are free guided imagery and affirmation tracks for pregnancy and childbirth. I used Hypnobabies with my first pregnancy and there is a similar affirmations track, but this one seems more suitable for very early pregnancy/conception to me. I had been looking for something similar, so I was happy when these were passed on to me. I think I shall listen to the two pregnancy tracks during this cycle. :)


Here's the link: https://www.healthjourneys.com/kaiser/download/download_healthyPregnancy.asp


You can even download them for free. :)

post #192 of 277

We just got a positive on the OPK today and our KD is shipping tonight and tomorrow so we can inseminate 2-3 times.. Wish us luck ladies!

post #193 of 277

Hey ladies so my DP got her one and only positive OPK this morning at 11. We got 2 negatives yesterday. Is it possible she got a positive in the middle of the night or should we be good with the positive this morning? We tested again at 4pm today and there is no smiley face.Do you girls get more then 1 positive? or after the positive you know you have 24-36 hrs to inseminate? IF we got by the positve from this morning and we inseminate in the morning cuz thats when fedex will come with our sperm that will be 22 hrs. which i know is a good time. Our question pretty much is could she get a + in the middle of the night or you think we are good with the + this morning???? We still with inseminate at 9-10am tomorrow (22hrs) and again probably 10 hrs later at 8 or 9 around bed time. You think we good or whats your thoughts?

post #194 of 277
Thread Starter 

Krista~ Yeah! Congrats on finishing your Triathalon! bikenew.gif




Welcome.gifInvit~ I hope that your stay is short and sweet!


KSDoula~ Thanks for the link...I have been looking for something like this.



post #195 of 277
Originally Posted by handerson003 View Post

Hey ladies so my DP got her one and only positive OPK this morning at 11. We got 2 negatives yesterday. Is it possible she got a positive in the middle of the night or should we be good with the positive this morning? We tested again at 4pm today and there is no smiley face.Do you girls get more then 1 positive? or after the positive you know you have 24-36 hrs to inseminate? IF we got by the positve from this morning and we inseminate in the morning cuz thats when fedex will come with our sperm that will be 22 hrs. which i know is a good time. Our question pretty much is could she get a + in the middle of the night or you think we are good with the + this morning???? We still with inseminate at 9-10am tomorrow (22hrs) and again probably 10 hrs later at 8 or 9 around bed time. You think we good or whats your thoughts?

Are you monitoring any other signs? I would suggest temping so you can have a better idea when your DP Os in relation to the positive opk. Good luck!



Afm: Lots of great ewcm today! And the high on the monitor! On CD12? Really? Am I actually going to O at a "normal" time? My body better not be teasing me or I'll be fairly annoyed! Emailing KD tonight to have him on standby for this week. What's really funny is I put "O Day" in my calendar for this Saturday because that's the day I wanted to O. Maybe the power of suggestion worked winky.gif


post #196 of 277


Originally Posted by carmen358 View Post

Are you monitoring any other signs? I would suggest temping so you can have a better idea when your DP Os in relation to the positive opk. Good luck


Agreed! Since you are using fresh sperm, you also have some amount of leeway in insemming before you actually ovulate. Fresh sperm can live for days if you have fertile cervical fluid, so that is another thing to check for. I'm not sure how that is affected by the preservative used to ship though...

post #197 of 277

So her temp dipped today so yay at least we know she hasnt Od yet so FINERS CROSSED for our inseminations today!!!

post #198 of 277

Gelly can you please move me to "waiting to know...braving the 2WW"? Thank you!


We did it! I am having SO many mixed emotions ranging from "it was a bust" to "maybe it will work!" and everything in between. I was expecting to get my positive opk sometime on Sunday so I was drinking a TON of water to pee as much as possible...but then I realized (too late) that it might be diluting my urine too much to get an accurate positive. I was using lined tests in hopes of watching them get darker and then doing a smiley. All the Saturday ones were getting darker and by Sunday at 9am it was pretty dark but I (stupidly) did not do a smiley then. We left for the day around 11 (to watch football and go to Isa's house!) and I just had smiley's with me. No dice. When we got back home around 5:30-6 the lined one was now much lighter. When I looked at them all lined up together the 9am one was definitely the darkest - but only half. I'm thinking maybe that was the surge but the rest of them were not coming up positive because I was drinking so much in order to pee and the lh didn't have enough time to build up. Vicious cycle. So we talked about it and said let's just go for it tonight (Sunday). So we did the first vial at about 10:30pm Sunday night. It was a comedy of errors. Almost spilled it, air bubble central, the dogs were barking...I stayed hips up for about half hour and then went to sleep. Yesterday morning I had an abundant amount of ewcm and my cervix was soft and open. I got a massage. And we did the second vial at 6:15pm. This time we had a catheter (Thanks again, Sara's!) so DW was able to really get the aim right. The night before we just put the syringe in and let it fly. After last night's I laid butt up for an hour. DW fed me my dinner while I was laying down - it was sweet :) I also had a 'big o' after the the second one to try and help things along. So here we are. This morning my temp went up! .5 from yesterday so that makes me very hopeful. But now I'm just worried about all the little things - what if we didn't thaw it right, what if they were all dead, what if the timing was all wrong and I haven't even had a surge yet...is it normal to have some more ewcm after you ovulate? I had a bunch this morning too. Ha! This is only day one...

post #199 of 277
Congratulations, MrsPP! It's totally normal to feel those emotions and especially the worries about timing. I've had some doubts about whether or not I'm performing the inseminations correctly, thawing too long/not long enough, etc. My feelings and doubts and hopes have run the gamut. Unfortunately I don't possess any blinding flashes of brilliance as to how to get those to stop. You just have to sit back and wait now and accept that there isn't anything you can do now to control the outcome.

But it's so exciting you guys are finally in this place! Try and revel in it while you are early enough in the TWW for nothing to be happening yet. Good luck!!!
post #200 of 277
Handerson, sounds like good timing!

MrsPP: I still obsess over timing and we're trying for #2! It sounds like you've done what you can and if it doesn't work out you can switch things up next time. Opks can be frustrating and not always accurate. If you O around the same time every cycle and the other signs are lining up then it sounds perfect smile.gif

Afm: speaking of opks....still very negative for me which is surprising because I'm on day 2 of awesome ewcm, high on the monitor and achy O cramps.....no sore nipples while nursing yet which seems to happen every cycle so is a great indicator for me! Message in to KD to stand by....
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