Queer Conceptions~September 2011 - Page 3

[ad astra]

gelly- so sorry!

[DesertSunsets]

MrsPP, your wife’s baby-making dance sounds awesome, beautiful, and sweet.  Fingers crossed for you guys!  We could certainly use some beginner’s luck around here.  Niagara Falls sounds so cool!  Have a great time.

Fivegrandbaby, I know everyone has already said how sorry they are and I don’t have anything new to add.  I don’t know that there really exists anything to say that will ever make a BFN easier to tolerate.  Forgive me if this is too soon, but are you planning on another IVF cycle? 

Brite, have you had your follicle ultrasound yet?  Good luck!  Our bank guarantees the tank for 7 days after we receive it, although they say the tank should be good for 20 days total, in ideal conditions.  Since we never know what exactly happens to them during shipping, we can never know if the conditions are “ideal” or not, unfortunately.  Fingers crossed for you guys!!!

KS – I hope you are happily relaxing right now!  Camping sounds amazing right now.  I wish I were there.

MidwifeSteph, I can’t imagine it’s ever easy to learn that your donor has less than ideal sperm.  Especially since it sounds like you really were hoping to use him.  I don’t know much about increasing sperm counts, but I feel hopefully optimistic for you guys that things will look up soon.  I am glad you have some kind of answer, though. 

Ad Astra, you’re in my thoughts this weekend!  Good luck. 

PF, any news yet?  I hope the wedding you’re attending is enjoyable.

Gelly, THAT SUCKS.  I’m real sorry this cycle didn’t bring you your baby.  L

Afu, 3 DPO today.  For those of you not around last month, my DW came up with a question for every day of the TWW for us to discuss, just for fun.  (TWW Countdown Conversations)  Centered around babies/kids/our family.  This cycle, it was my job to come up with the questions.  I usually post the questions, if anyone feels inclined to share their thoughts on that day's question/conversation, feel free!  

1 DPO: "How do you feel this time compared to last cycle?"

2 DPO: "If we have a girl, what is one thing you dream of teaching her?"

3 DPO: "If we have a boy, what is one thing you dream of teaching him?"

Our foster son seems extra crabby today, and while I know he's tired, he won't sleep!  Gotta love it when that happens.  Have a good weekend, all. 

[handerson003]

Gelly- Sorry :(

So Ladies!! We are confused.. We thought Carrie started her period yesterday but she said she was just spotting and she had lil cramps but not as much as normal.. And usually she doesnt just spot she is heavy and when she starts her cramps hurt way... Well she stopped spotting last night and today still nothing and she had just those few cramps yesterday and now no more... Usually she has sore boobs at least a week before she starts and shes moody and she usually starts today thats why we thought we started yesterday cuz she had a lil blood.

I have read that you can spot and have lil cramps if a egg is implanting... Is this true?? We are trying not to get our hopes up but everything is sooo different then how it usually is when she starts..

What do you all think?

[pleasantlyfurious]

handerson - yes!  Implantation is exactly what that sounds like.  Fingers crossed!

desertsunsets - yes, the wedding was lovely.  :)  But I'm a sucker for weddings. 

Gelly - Oh, I'm so sorry.  Some cycles hurt more than others and it sounds like the emotional stakes were high this time.  Be kind to yourself. 

AFM - tested this morning and BFN.  So we are officially out.  In happier news, the wedding was fun and Leo (our 15 month old) busted out some moves on the dance floor and had a circle of adoring fans gathered around him.  It was so cute.  And he danced until he dropped.  So I'm hoping he sleeps soundly tonight.  On Monday Leo and I are off to visit my family in Pittsburgh, so we will be distracted, which is always nice - but miss jb.  So, I guess we are waiting for AF - but we can skip that and go to waiting to O since I don't know how often I'll be able to check over the next week.

[meghanc]

Brite, our bank guarantees the tanks for seven days, but, like DS's bank (same one?) have said that they can last up to twenty. We'd decided that we'd give it ten days, check to make sure that it was still cold enough to smoke when the lid was removed, and then check every day after that and look into getting it recharged at about 14 days, regardless.

Steph, I'm glad that it's not you--it has to be a relief--but sorry to hear that you're going to have to find a new source for swimmers, which I know can be frustrating. I hope that an easy solution presents itself.

Adastra, we're charting and paying a lot of attention to cervix height/texture and CF. No external monitoring, though. My insurance won't cover anything related to fertility, so no monitoring is covered, and my OB is pretty hands-off anyhow--I was sort of impressed that he even gave me Clomid.

5g, I'm so sorry.

Handerson, that sounds like implantation to me--it's exactly what happened to me, actually, with the pregnancy that I lost. I thought my period had started, told my DP that this wasn't the month, and then four days later went "Uh, this period is really light!" Then I peed on a stick and got a BFP, so...you know. It can happen. Fingers crossed for you!
 

[carmen358]

midwifesteph: Ugh, I'm sorry your KD's test results weren't better. I can imagine it really is a mixed bag of emotions though! It *is* good it's "not you" but I know I would be SO bummed if I couldn't use the KD we have. Is he willing to go for any acupuncture or any other sort of treatment to help?
 

krista: your boss definitely sounds like she could use some help in the compassion department. And I'm so sorry you're still feeling so down

handerson: I'm with everyone else...could definitely be implantation! Test tomorrow or the next day!

pf: Sorry about the bfn but I'm glad your family had fun at the wedding. Have fun in Pittsburgh.

Afm: 8DPO and I'm not feelin' it. I'm having some cramping but nothing like I've had when pregnant before. One thing I think is a good sign regardless though is that my temperature seems to be more stable post O than it has been for awhile. I don't actually know if that really is a good sign in any practical sense but it sure makes for a purdy chart. I'll likely test on Monday.

[Yeledov]

::sigh::Looks like I'll be joining the BFNs so far. Gellly, I'm sorry you didn't have the thread-keepers luck.

Some cycles it seem harder to accept failure than others. I'm feeling that this time. I had such good signs! Arg! Ah, well, I toast you all with my traditional "menstrual martini". I still hope to see plenty of BFPs this month. Maybe I'll have better luck at the end of the month.

Gelly, please move me to Waiting to O.

[Cananny]

Hello.....

5g and gelly, yeledov..and anyone else I missed.....so sorry about bfn:'(

dp and I are in central valley (fresno)taking care of a few loose ends for her and at same time caring for her 20 mo old nephew..his mom wanted to go away for few days...we sure have gotten plenty experience over last 3 days and nights with a very loud, and over talkative, and quite the handful ..little guy....he has run us to exaustion by 9 pm !! ..(though I'm tired, I'm.unable to.sleep..ughhhhhhhh ) ..we feel bad for him....his mom has no.car, its very hot here, so they spend most of time cooped up inside watching tv....he doesn't get to socialize with other kids , and he gets spanked at home so.of course he hits others......
It's parents like these that make the pain of ttc this much harder ...
We did take jaden to the lake today...he had a blast...his first time...he even learned to float and kick his feet ...and loved the sand ...
We have been exposing him to lots of things last few days .....hoping he will take some positive to his time with us !
So we currently are in.a one bedroom.we like ..but our landlord has a 2 bed in a diff building a few mins from.one we are in now...if we like the 2 bed....the cost to move will only be about 300 deposit and difference if rent (nit bad for area)....Soo we might be moving in 2 weeks, meaning we will not insem......so we will see the place wendesday .....its to good a deal to pass up...and gives us more space ....

We are using the occavue...and dp already forgot this am....not being home and so out of routine ....we will keep using it and also use opk and line up other symptoms .....
I started the metformin ....so far no side affects

Please move us to waiting to O....for now ...

Sorry for the ramble...I've got bad case of insomnia ..I miss our bed and dogs !!!!!

[handerson003]

So we are 12DPO today she tested and it was negative but im not taking this as a total no yet lol cuz she hasnt started and i kno it can take time for it to show up.. When i looked up implanting is says it can take up to 4 days after implantinfg to she positive on a pee test so thats in 2 days soooo we shall see. FINGERS CROSSED!!!

[KSDoulaMama]

Originally Posted by MidwifeStephPDX 

Well, big news on our end. After 6 months of TTC with our KD, we finally had his sperm tested. I won't get into all the reasons we didn't do it before we started trying, but we didn't. And at this point it seemed like the easiest thing to try. So, we finally went in for the semen analysis today, which in my mind was almost a formality, and guess what?? It was really bad! He had less than 6 million sperm in the sample. Some of the counts they couldn't even do because of the low number, and most of the ones they could do were abnormal.

I'm a mixture of disappointed, concerned, and elated. Elated that it's not me! And disappointed and not sure where to go with it. Poor guy, he was really bummed. We definitely want to give him a chance to see if things may change, and we really really wanted it to be him. But, at the end of the day, this is mine and my partner's baby, and exactly how we get the other half of the DNA is not the most important element, right?? I leave for Hawaii on Sunday. Because of the count, we are taking a real break this month, and may take a couple more after that. I'm going to have my naturopath look at the SA and see what she thinks, and if she has any advice on raising the count. If there's a possibility it may improve, we'll probably do another count in October or November and go from there. I don't think any of us want to wait months and months, but we also were really hoping (and assuming) it would be him and don't want to give up on that idea either...

Gelly, please move me to taking a break.

Well, that is disappointing about the sperm count- though definitely good to know so you can make an educated decision about how to proceed. We were not terribly concerned about exactly which sperm we used but now that we have our daughter, we really want to be able to use our KD again. We've got his sperm banked and it ranges in counts and quality, who knows why! Wishing you lots of peace and guidance while you figure out what is going to be best.

Originally Posted by kgulbransen 

AFM: I got attacked for the second time in about a month by my boss yesterday. She says I seem "down" all the time and my attitude is negative. And that I need to just "act" so that my employees are happy. WTF?? We went back and forth about it for awhile. I've had challenges in the past with women bosses who see me as competition but this really took the cake. Afterwards, I was talking to a colleague about it and she said, "well, no wonder. You've had two miscarriages this year. Of course you're down!" And then I just started bawling, girls. It hit me that yes, I am really sad and down and why didn't I say that to my boss? I felt like I dishonored the two little ones that were in me.

I ended up crying the whole evening through. It was a very hard day. And then this morning, I'm just mad. My boss is such a cold hearted bitch that she couldn't even say, "You know, I know it's been a really rough year for you and I think it's making you very down. It's showing in the office, how can I help you with that?" That would have made me kind of mad too because we make women just act like it doesn't matter or it doesn't hurt but at least it would have showed she realized my pregnancy losses meant something.

I also wonder if I'm not getting some passive aggressive behaviour because I came out at work that I am trying to have a child. Just a note, she has never had children or even wanted them and no one in my office has children strangely.

Krista

It really bothers me when bosses are so unpersonable! How frustrating that this could have been put in so much more of a sensitive way, but it wasn't. People need to start thinking about the fact that you get much better results in the workplace from the people who work under you when you treat them with respect! Grr! Sorry about your meanie boss.

Originally Posted by pleasantlyfurious 

ksdoula - Yes!  BCP messed me up!  I tried a bunch of different kinds and my reactions ranged from weepy to volatile.  I finally called it quits when I found myself entertaining suicidal thoughts - that was out of control.  Since going off them I haven't felt like that - I can't believe so many people take them for years and years!  Have a great weekend camping!

Good to know! I'm glad it's not THAT bad for me! More humorous than anything in my case. I have to say, I'm going to be happy to be done with the BCPs, even if it means moving on to new and (potentially more potent) things, hehe. Like injections...

Originally Posted by handerson003 

So Ladies!! We are confused.. We thought Carrie started her period yesterday but she said she was just spotting and she had lil cramps but not as much as normal.. And usually she doesnt just spot she is heavy and when she starts her cramps hurt way... Well she stopped spotting last night and today still nothing and she had just those few cramps yesterday and now no more... Usually she has sore boobs at least a week before she starts and shes moody and she usually starts today thats why we thought we started yesterday cuz she had a lil blood.

I have read that you can spot and have lil cramps if a egg is implanting... Is this true?? We are trying not to get our hopes up but everything is sooo different then how it usually is when she starts..

What do you all think?

Sounds like implantation to me!!!
 

Originally Posted by Cananny 


dp and I are in central valley (fresno)taking care of a few loose ends for her and at same time caring for her 20 mo old nephew..his mom wanted to go away for few days...we sure have gotten plenty experience over last 3 days and nights with a very loud, and over talkative, and quite the handful ..little guy....he has run us to exaustion by 9 pm !! ..(though I'm tired, I'm.unable to.sleep..ughhhhhhhh ) ..we feel bad for him....his mom has no.car, its very hot here, so they spend most of time cooped up inside watching tv....he doesn't get to socialize with other kids , and he gets spanked at home so.of course he hits others......
It's parents like these that make the pain of ttc this much harder ...
We did take jaden to the lake today...he had a blast...his first time...he even learned to float and kick his feet ...and loved the sand ...
We have been exposing him to lots of things last few days .....hoping he will take some positive to his time with us !

 

You are such good aunts. :) I hear you on the part about it making the TTC process even more difficult. Right when we were about to start TTC my daughter, my brother (20 at the time) and his 18 year old girlfriend of a few months got pregnant with an "oops" baby and decided to give her up for adoption. (Not to US, mind you!) I was so angry... it's like... we were taking so much mental and physical energy and a small fortune to have our own baby and they had one they didn't even want! Not to say your nephew is unwanted, because I don't know that situation, but it does seem unfair that sometimes the great parents have to go to such lengths when the mediocre parents don't. Blah!

To all those with BFN's this month- Sorry. :( Wishing you better luck and baby dust the next time around...

AFM- Our camping trip is done. Already. It was the vacation from hell. We drove six hours to this national park in Colorado, complete with a long detour. Set up everything. Grace (our 15 month old) DID NOT SLEEP the whole first night. She woke up screaming at least 30 times, keeping DW and me awake all night. DW, poor thing, had to nurse in the freezing tent all night long. Grace would not sleep in a sleeping bag with us either. The whole campground must have been pissed at us. I think campfire smoke had made its way into the tent and irritated, because all the next day she was congested and drippy. She was probably cold too, even though she was bundled in fleece jammies and a sleep sack and had a fleece blanket and hat. Anyway, we decided not to camp the second night. We'd just go to the closest bigger town, enjoy dinner at a restaurant, check into a hotel and relax for a night, and then head back a day early the next afternoon. No such luck. Turns out the state fair was in town and NO hotels had any vacancy whatsoever. We had no choice but to drive the whole 6 hours back in one day, and return home at like, 11pm. Our poor daughter was all out of sorts from lack of sleep and had a hard time with naps and a hard time going to sleep in the car that evening. Her eyes were red and glazed over the whole day. So unlike her. At least we managed a little hike in the sand dunes and shared a few meals over a camp fire with our friends before our vacation was abruptly canceled. Anyway, now we're home and intent on doing NOTHING. DW is sleeping, DD had a decent night's sleep and is having her morning nap, and I am going to get to selling some diapers on Diaper Swappers.
 

[ad astra]

Desert – those are such great questions… do you think what you would like to teach your daughter would be different than what you would like to teach your son?  My DP and I actually talked about this a lot before finding out we were expecting a girl.  Maybe we were fairly general but we settled on kindness as being the most important value we would like to impart.  We figured everything else would fall into place if our child was kind to him/herself and others. 

Handerson – it could be implantation bleeding.  I had that with my first pregnancy.  Wait couple of days and take another HPT if AF doesn't’t show up. 

Pleasentlyfurious – sorry about BFN.  Glad you had a good time at the wedding and your Leo was such a star on the dance floor.  Have a great trip to Pittsburgh.

Carmen- it sounds like it was an odd cycle for your to begin with so maybe not feeling it is a good sign?  Fx for your test on Monday!

Yeledov- sorry about the BFN

Cananny- hope your new place works out… why not give it a shot in the middle of a move? for one thing the distraction of moving would  make the TWW fly by. No?

KSDoula- sorry you camping experience was so challenging.  I’m sure when your DD will be a bit older she will enjoy it more and in turn allow you to have a great time.

Afm – had a weird day yesterday (11DPO) it started with giving in to my POAS obsession and getting an ambiguous result – in my sleepy stupor I dipped the test way past the max line and a faint second line was somewhat visible.  This morning I repeated the test correctly with a first response and there was a definite second line!!! I’m 14 days past the trigger shot so I’m fairly certain it’s out of my system.  I got a beta hCG done at RE’s office this morning and it came back at  97.6.  So do I dare call it a BFP or should I wait to see if it doubles by Tuesday? 

[mami2mami]

ad astra- I've been following your ttc process since you lost DD last year and just last night I was telling my DP about how I've been lurking to follow your journey. I cannot express how happy we are for your BFP!!  for your Beta count!!!

Sara-??anything new we are so waiting!

Edited by mami2mami - 9/4/11 at 10:43am

[nosreves]

ad astra -- that's the best thing i've heard all week.  i'm so very happy for you, and i am sending super sticky vibes your way.  

[KSDoulaMama]

Originally Posted by ad astra 

KSDoula- sorry you camping experience was so challenging.  I’m sure when your DD will be a bit older she will enjoy it more and in turn allow you to have a great time.

Ironically, we've been camping since she was a newborn and she usually loves it! (And she definitely loves camping during the day when she can run around getting dirty and playing with sticks and things.) I think it was just a fluke. Ah well!

Originally Posted by ad astra 

Afm – had a weird day yesterday (11DPO) it started with giving in to my POAS obsession and getting an ambiguous result – in my sleepy stupor I dipped the test way past the max line and a faint second line was somewhat visible.  This morning I repeated the test correctly with a first response and there was a definite second line!!! I’m 14 days past the trigger shot so I’m fairly certain it’s out of my system.  I got a beta hCG done at RE’s office this morning and it came back at  97.6.  So do I dare call it a BFP or should I wait to see if it doubles by Tuesday? 

I think you should just call it a BFP! :) YAY!!!

[carmen358]

ad astra!! Definitely call it a BFP!! I'm so happy for you and your DP!!!

[handerson003]

Well she started her period and has her normal cramps :( Her period has never done this thats why we were unsure what was going on. She always has her boobs sore at least 5 days before and shes alwasy moody lol before also.. This time nothing except the spotting on friday and slight cramps then it went away and she just started an hour ago. So confused now but oh well..

We shall try again in like 2 - 2 1/2 weeks...

Ad astra- Yay im excited for you!!

[smilingsara]

AD astra: congrats! Fingers crossed your beta doubles! So excited for you!!!

Mami: see below, but I'm not testing until Thursday. That will be 14dpi.

Handerson: so sorry for you.

Afm: driving home from my wedding in ny. Happy it's over but I had a good time! Got some great shots!

As for two well it's been fun. Going pretty quickly which I'm thrilled about. I've been dead dog exhausted all weekend. I've also been feeling a little nacous after I eat since Friday I think. My face is clear, I usually break out before I start. And my boobs don't feel sore yet either. Dunno what to mKe of it yet. Here's hoping I feel a wee bit sick for the next few months.

Can't wait to get home from Cleveland. This is the longest I've been away from Sara and the kids since I've moved down here!

[kgulbransen]

Originally Posted by gellybeangrl 

Krista~ What do you know about increasing egg quality? I have heard that taking DHEA and royal jelly is supposed to help. Do you know anything about these? and have you heard about anything else? I know that my eggs fertilized, but after the 3-day transfer I have no idea what happened. I would just like to up the quality of my eggs.

Gelly: We'd all love to increase our egg quality!  DHEA is one (I've been taking that for awhile) but the more recent popular one is the Royal Bee Jelly that you mention.  I take one pill that is 1000mg Royal Jelly, 600mg Propolis and 1500 mg Bee Pollen. It's called "Queen's Delight." Some people take it in gelatin like format and some mix it in a drink like tea. I just take it in a pill. I can barely get all my vitamins down each day and I think this is just easiest. I didn't find anything that said it was any less potent by taking it in that form. Of course, you can always find someone on the Internet that swears it go them pregnant!

In your follow-up did the docs tell you why they thought things didn't go any further?
 

[SwtRainbowBrite]

MidwifeSteph: Yes I made a little wish on her when I held her... I love newborns, they are so full of mystery! I am so sorry to hear about your KD hopefully your naturopath can suggest some supplements that can help with his count. I know some of the supplements I am taking are supposed to help men as well. Wishing you lots of luck on which ever path you choose!

Ad Astra:  That is a really good idea! I think I am going to do the same, just so that way we can know 1 way or another without having to guess if it is still the HcG from the shot. Here comes your early veggie parade for your sticky bean!!! 

Gelly: I am so sorry about your BFN. I hope that you are able to change RE's so that you can feel more empowered on your TTC journey. I also agree with Gelly about taking the CoQ10, my acupuncturist suggested it for me (I am under 35), and you can get it really cheap (but great quality) at Trader Joes, also I am taking Bee Pollen/Royal Jelly to help with Eqq quality

Carmen: How are you feeling? Are you still going to test in the morning?

Desert: YAY for the 2WW conversations! I am hoping that your 2WW flies by and you get that BFP!

Furious: So sorry to hear about your BFN I am happy that you had a great time at the Wedding and DS busted some moves to help brighten your weekend! 

Yeledov: So sorry to hear about your BFN Could it still be too early to know? If that mean  does show her ugly face please have a couple menstrual martinis for me as well!

Cananny: It sounds like you are doing something wonderful for Jaden, it is so hard/sad when we see children around us that don't get the unconditional and helpful love that we can give to children. But know that all of our time is coming and we have been given the special opportunity to see possible mistakes so that we can avoid those with our kids. YAY yet Boo for moving, I love moving and hate it soo much at the same time!

KS: SO sorry to hear that you had such an awful vacation 

Sara: I am hoping that you feel sick for a while all thank to lovely morning sickness!! How much longer do you have in Cleveland?

Afm: So we had our RE u/s appt and it was a little bit disappointing for me. The good news is that we have 5 follicles (there were more growing, but those were the largest), the not so great news is that they were not all the way mature. I immediately got upset because I felt like I was the incubator and I had not done a really good job of growing the eggs in enough time, but DP told me not to be so hard on myself and allowed me to see the bright side that we have a few more days for the eggies to grow. The 5 follicles were around 12- 12 1/2 and my lining was about 5.4, so we are scheduled to come back to re-check the follicles on Tuesday. The great news out of everything was that we brought the tank to the appt just in case and I am so happy we did because our wonderful RE has an on site Andrology lab so they can hold our vials for 30days at no charge and they are going to send our tank back as well! So melting sperm is one less thing I have to worry about!

Question: So since we only have 1 vial to work with this cycle I am really worrying about when we should insem. If we trigger Tuesday afternoon (around 4:00pm) when should we insem? We are using 1 vial of frozen ICI. 

[smilingsara]

Rrainbow: me too! I too went for an ultrasound last month and about cried when I heard I only had twO follicles, one at 10 and one at 12. Sara wonderfully calmed me down and then the doc said it was no problem at all and to come back 4 days later for a recheck. The recheck was amazing. The smaller follicle was gone and the larger one had nearly doubled in size in just 4 days! Yours will do the same, you will trigger and then insem and two weeks later find out that you're pregnant! We had only one vial and did the insem about 25 hours after me triggered. Ask the doc, they know best!

Woke up this morning with a super stuffy nose and I've sneezed nearly 2 dozen times in less than an hour. I've never been so excited for a cold.

I head home this afternoon! Im so stinkin excited to see Sara!