Fall IVF Thread: Let's hear it for the BFPs! - Page 7

[TenzinsMama]

Okay, I've been away for a few days visiting my folks out of town, and I'm caught up. 

Aura and Renavoo, I was LMAO at some of your comments about things... what a great way to start a Monday morning!

Aura, what do you find is really making the difference between being stressed out a lot before, and feeling more relaxed this time around?

Renavoo, what do you think are the 'right expectations'?  I'm finding it kind of hard to find the right balance.  I mean, I want us to be hopeful, because that gives us the strength and motivation to do what we need to do, and yet, I don't want to get myself too much-- I don't even know what the right word is-- I don't know, 'into it' and thinking too far ahead (I can't help but start thinking of names that I like, etc.)  My acupuncturist has used the words 'cautiously optimistic', which I like... but putting the idea into practice is not so easy! 

Blue, did you find with the teeth grinding/jaw clenching, you had tooth sensitivity in your molars at all?  My dentist thinks that might be a problem for me.  So, just wondering.  Maybe that happens?

Belly, how frustrating that your other place hasn't returned your call!  Hopefully you'll get something figured out today.

Bungalow, glad to hear that things are going well for you.

Kewpie, no news is good news-- nice, calm, uneventful weekend for you and the little ones, I'm thinking-- Yay!

ItsMe, nice to hear about those betas!

AFM, I didn't hear back from the clinic about what I'm supposed to do in the days before starting suppression... I'm thinking DH and I are going to be just not BD'ing at all, to be on the safe side.  Seems weird to be avoiding now.  I placed another call to the nurse this morning, so hopefully I'll hear back from them.  I guess they figure I'll be reading about it in the package that I'm getting in the next day or two-- but what if I ovulate early this cycle and we BD'd... I would just feel better knowing what I need to be doing right now.  Oh yeah, Renavoo, it's nice to hear you say that you didn't find it so bad going through all that stuff with taking meds, etc-- I just read a book "Having a baby... when the old-fashioned way doesn't work" by Cindy Margolis, and she makes it sound really awful with the meds and their side effects (mainly, moodiness, discomfort with the shots, and weight gain is what she referred to repeatedly).  I maybe shouldn't have read the book.  I'm just wanting to be zen-like going into this... well, as much as possible.  I guess the two main things I'm thinking about and getting a tad worried about is going through a menopause-like state, and then, if we are so blessed to have a number of good embies, the decision about how many to transfer.  At our clinic, it sounds like the maximum number of embies they would normally recommend for a woman of my age is 3.  I watched an informational video they have online, and I did this QandA that comes with it about what I would be comfortable with, and it came up as 3 as well.  I'm trying to take each day as it comes, yet, think about things and talk about some of the 'what ifs' with my DH so we will know where each other stands on certain things, should it come down to some major decision-making. 

[julieven]

Belly - You know what boggles my mind is that DD was conceived naturally (without any temping, charting, timed intercourse, etc., you know - like normal people!) and DH probably had the same issues then. What gives?

Kewpie - Thanks for your perspective. I know it is more accurate than my fantasy world.

Blue - I don't think he had an ultrasound. It was identified with the physical exam, which he started to complain about until he saw the disbelieving look on my face and back-tracked to say it was obviously not as bad as my appointments. Smart man. Now if I could just get him to make sure the dishes are clean before he puts them away...

Renavoo and Auraleigh - Thanks for the well wishes.

rcr - how are you doing?

[aprilmom]

 julieven - yeah for finding a problem.  I hope that you are able to get your 'free baby' and not have to do IVF... keep us posted on what they decide to do with your DH
 

 BellyBean - totall understand wanting time to go by faster!! It is hard because when it does and you look back you are like where did it go?  But in the moment when you are working through this process it is a long time to know the end result... if you could just tell me at the end of the day, I will be pregnant, I think I could not want time to speed up so much?  Who knows!!

TenzinsMama - I didn't find IVF to be that bad.  Yes, I gained some weight but that is more from my eating choices then anything.  I would love to blame it on the meds but I know I am partially to blame. The hot flashes to stink... but they pass and I move on.  I would say my hardest thing is the Lupron gives me headaches and I don't want to take much as I am treating my body as though I am already pregnant.  I think it is good to be prepared and know what you are getting into.  I know we had to sign concent forms at our 1st supression meeting that went over a lot of the what if's?  (what if one of you die and you have frozen embryos what happens to them?  type things) and it had to be notarized... it is a lot to think about

 HELLO everone else, I hope you are having a good Monday!!

AFM - I started stims last night.  I am taking quite a bit more meds this time around and my first hotflash hit me about 2 hours after the meds... it took a few days last time.  However, I am much more relaxed this time around.  I am not sure why but I am just going with the flow.  Maybe because I know what to expect?  And since the result last time I am kinda expecting for this not to work and will just be happy if it does... maybe that is a bad attitude to have, IDK

[BellyBean]

April, yay for stims!!  And it sounds like they are already working :)  I really hope they have your protocol figured out this time and you get your BFP!  I totally agree about the time being different if you knew for sure it would work. 

Julie, infertility is hard no matter what...but secondary infertility must be really hard since everything worked before and now it doesn't. 

Tenzi, I think it's best to talk about those decisions ahead of time...of course I LOVE to over analyze everything :)  I didn't think IVF was that bad either.  I did get bloated from a mild case of OHSS, but it was SO worth it that all the shots, appointments, and extra pounds were easily forgotten.  I was also really excited the whole time about the possibility of finally being pregnant, so I might have gone into it with a positive attitude. 

AFM, just got back from my testing.  The mock transfer went great, and the RE took measurements so he is prepared for the real transfer next month.  The SIS revealed a perfectly smooth uterus.  And the doppler showed I have good blood flow to the uterus.  So it looks like our transfer is 'a go' at this point.  I think I will try to nap today.  I forgot to take tylenol before going and my uterus is cramping a little from the SIS.  They also gave me an antibotic since they were inside the uterus, but I hadn't had much to eat so now I feel sick to my stomach.  Glad it's my day off! 

[ItsMeSri]

I got 3rd beta done today. It is 5w2days and number is 351. They are saying expected 340. 2nd beta for 95 on Thursday after 4 days number is 351.

Is this good number?.

[renavoo]

HI Ladies!!

TenzinsMama, I don't know what the right expectations are! I mean, I guess I walked in expecting a BFP with my first IVF and then ended up getting a BFN which devastated me. So this time around, I'm walking in more, as you say, cautiously optimistic. Hopefully, it works out. But if not, then I need to start thinking about next steps!! in fact, I may start planning that out soon, just in case.

Belly, did the other doctor call you back!? I certainly hope so. And I hope that you're feeling a little more comfortable now. YAH to the great results from your tests. I'm glad you're resting and taking it easy. Having all those tests done has got to be exhausting, especially at the same time!

April, I'm so happy that you're starting and that you're less stressed with this cycle. I think that your mindset is what my mindset will be too...it'll be great if it works but I'm much more cautious about being too optimistic this time around. sniff. it sucks that we have to be even a little down but I don't want to get my hopes so up again that if I get a BFN, my world comes crashing down again.

Julie, yuck to having to wait some more but I think that it's great that you guys have something to look forward to. I really hope that all goes well and you end up getting the news that your infertility issues are correctable. By the way, I LOLed when I read your comment about how your husband was starting to complain and then realized how, after all we end up getting down to our bodies, their part really isn't that bad.

AFM, ok, Sat will be my last BCP so I'm happy about that. Then I have to wait for the withdrawal bleed and then hopefully, all is well with the US so I can start the prep phase. I'm getting there. I'm still having pain on the right side of my face. Sigh, I went to see a derm today, who says that the cyst on my ear lobe is really close to one of my cranial nerves (darn it) which is why I'm getting the radiating pain. SIGH! I mean seriously...I got an injection to hopefully, help that cyst go down quicker. I'm such a mess. hehe oh well, DH won't have to deal with me for a couple of days because he's on a business trip. I plan on doing everything I don't want to do in front of him. hmmm I should go buy one of those really ugly facial masks and walk around with cucumbers on my eyes!! maybe that's what I'll do tonight! :oD

[renavoo]

Ugh, I forgot to say that I feel guilty about work too. My coworker asked me if I could go to a meeting in Austria October 17th. That's only 3 days from my transfer. I told her that there was no way I could go. I hate that IF interferes with work but I definitely know what my priority is. But it doesn't stop me from feeling guilty. No one at work (who isn't a close friend of mine) knows about my fertility treatments so I can't even use that as a reason. I am just really vague about how I won't be in town that weekend and therefore, can't travel overnight.

[blueyezz4]

Renavoo -  Yay for the last BCP!!!  I feel bad about work too.  B/c I work in a position that I have to do a lot of heavy lifting it makes it hard for me to work after the transfer.  There are days where I have to lift anywhere from 20-50 or more lbs an hour so I always feel kinda guilty about not working after the ET until the beta.  It would be different if my co-workers knew but I work in several different nursing homes so I don't feel like these people that I hardly know need to know my business.  Did you get an appt for your ear, by the way?

rcr - did you have your iui??  How did it go?  Just haven't seen your name around and wanted to see how things were going for you! Hope all is well.

ItsMe - I think those numbers sound good.  Do you have another beta soon or are you done?

Belly - glad to hear your tests went well.  Did you ever hear from your other RE???

April - Glad to hear you started your stims!!!  Yay!!!  I was the same way with my 2nd fresh cycle b/c i totally knew what to expect.  I think that is good way to be b/c i believe stress only messes with your system.

Julie - LOL... loved the dishes comment!!  Funny!  I hear ya!!! 

Tenzi - I also didn't have much troubles at all with the IVF meds either.  They changed my protocol with the 2nd fresh IVF in July so i did have some nausea at first but it went away and also had a headache for a bit but seemed to also go away w/ time.  It wasn't too bad at all.  I expected worse.  The one clinic we had talked to about doing IVF with told my DH he might want to go away on business for a few weeks over-seas b/c of the hormonal changes but I was fine and even with AF i don't get too moody normally - this past AF might be a different story but i'm blaming it on the extra supplements I've been on.  Oh and yes, my teeth do bother me and are sensitive.  My dentist said to use sensodyne toothpaste but it still bothers me.. i don't use it all the time though b/c i like the taste of the other paste better so use it now and then. One time I thought for sure i had a cavity in one of my molars and told the dentist about it and he thought that i had a crack in one of my molars (this was when i was being bad about wearing the night guard) and said that it may just break off sometime, but was so sensitive and one day i was chewing some gum and next thing you know  a chunk of the corner of my tooth broke off and i had to then have it fixed.  I now make sure i wear my bite guard every night!!

AFM - This has been the weirdest AF ever.  My stomach has been all off... spent almost 2 days on the toilet and more emotional too.  I'm just blaming it all on the new supplements I've been on which kinda scares me a bit to keep taking them, but maybe that is what I need b/c normally I don't have many symptoms w/ AF at all and this time I felt totally different.  Another thing is that normally i have been doing acupuncture and haven't done it much this month, so that might be part of the issue as well. I need to get back into it here maybe next week.

Hello to everyone else.

[Kewpie80]

I was really hoping to not make you feel badly.  I just remember feeling so completely defeated and depressed after we got the news.  DH was devastated even more than I was.  I just hope your outcome is better than ours!!  My DH was diagnosed with a physical exam and then an u/s a few days later.  Do you know if they plan to do that for your DH?  

Originally Posted by julieven 

Kewpie - Thanks for your perspective. I know it is more accurate than my fantasy world.

[Kewpie80]

AFM - I've been super crampy the last couple days, but thankfully they are not coming in regular intervals like they were last week.  The babies are getting strong and the kicks can be felt from the outside now and my OB says that they are triggering contractions and that I have an irritable uterus.  I'm keeping a close eye on them to make sure they don't become regular again.  For the next 7 weeks, I can take ibuprofen to stop them at home if I need to.  After that, I'll need to go back to L&D.  

[ItsMeSri]

blueyezz4: I don't have any further beta. on 21st I have UltraSound.

[auraleigh]

hi ladies!

Tenzin- i think the difference between this cycle and the last one is that i know what to expect.  the first time seemed so scary and every time i had ANY symptom i would obsess over it.  each day took forever, i would spend all day thinking about my shots and what would come next.  this time, because i've been through it all, i am just living my life normally and just happen to be taking these shots.  i'm on day 9 of stims and i believe that i will be triggering tomorrow.  and these 9 days have flown by! other than some bloating and a few killer headaches, i've been fine.  i too was worried about "menopause-like symptoms" but felt okay on the stims.  i'm doing acupuncture, so i am not sure if that has been helping or not.  i had the worst symptoms on the PIO shots, but i'm not doing them this time around.  but even then, it was minor.  constipation, bloating, pain at injection site... but nothing so bad i had to stay home from work.  it's more of an annoyance.  my advice to you is to be optimistic, hopeful, etc, but keep in mind that it may not work.  i was CRUSHED when i got my bfn, even though i had prepared myself 100 times over that it probably wouldn't be my time.  i had even taken 7 home pregnancy tests that were all negative and i was STILL crushed when the RE gave me my news.  i don't think it's easy news to hear, ever.  however, keeping your body happy and calm can't hurt, so being "cautiously optimistic" is really the best bet.  as we've seen here, it does work eventually and this board has had many graduates

april- hooray for stims! i was thinking about you last night because i remembered seeing on the main page that you were starting up.  hopefully this cycle will be so much better than the last!

belly- congrats on the lovely uterus!  doesn't it make you feel good to know that at least one part of this equation is exactly as it needs to be?

renavoo-  the time has finally come!  before you know it you'll be shooting up with the rest of us.  who knew we'd be so excited to be doing it?  sorry about your cyst and teeth pain, but consider it a distraction?  i may follow your lead and throw on some face mask tonight.  these hormones are messing with my face!  and don't feel guilty about work.   we all have to have priorities, and for the time being, this is yours.  there will be other trips that you'll go on, other favors you will do for people down the line.  they won't hold this against you.  

blue-  i am so curious about these supplements.  it will be so interesting to do a before and after comparison.  hopefully the after will be a big fat BFP!

afm- today is day 9 of stims.  this morning we measured about 14 follicles ranging from 16 to 10mm, with some smaller ones not worth measuring.  they bumped me up from 300 gonal f to 375 tonight, so i get the feeling that this is the final haul.  if we get good growth overnight i expect to trigger tomorrow and retrieve on thursday, otherwise trigger wednesday and retrieval friday.  i'd actually prefer friday because then it would feel like a long weekend and i'd have time to adjust from the bloating and stomach pain... but i'll take either.  whatever is best for my body.  i think i'm more relaxed this time because i know my dh's sperm is the problem, and we have the donor sperm as a backup.  we are both totally fine with whichever sperm produces the best embryos.  at this point we just want a baby and we want to stop doing ivf!  

[TenzinsMama]

Well, it doesn't sound like IVF isn't going to be as bad as what I was thinking it might be... what you all are telling me goes with what the pharmacist at the clinic was telling me-- she phoned to tell me that all my meds will be available tomorrow morning. No rush to pick them up, she said, but I told her I would be in right away because I am SO excited to start!  Anyway, I asked a bunch of questions.  She says that I might be one of those people who are very senstive to meds, which I would agree based on how I've reacted to other things over the years, but aside from that, she said Clomid isn't a drug that she is fond of--apparently it can make people feel like they are going a little crazy (yep, that was me).  She said it is because Clomid effects the estrogen recepter sites all over the body, so it hits everything... whereas, with the fertility drugs they use for IVF, it targets the ovaries.  She said for some people, they experience moodiness and/or hot flashes, which would be just like how some women but not others have pronounced symptoms when they go through natural menopause.  Oh, and maybe some headaches.  So, although I knew that I would be bloated and possibly quite tender in my abdominal area, I was so worried about these other things because I was thinking it would be like Clomid-- but now I'm not anymore.  (Thought I would post all that, even though most of you probably know that stuff already, as it might be interesting for others to know if they are reading this and contemplating IVF.) 

rcr, I hope this last IUI is the one that brings you your bfp.

renavoo, you must have one interesting job, if your out-of-town travel would include a place like Austria...

kewpie, how far along were you when you found out you were having twins?  I can just imagine how much movement you would be experiencing when it is x2!

Belly, wow, things are really moving along!

April, yay for the meds doing an awesome job already it sounds like!

[Kewpie80]

I found out at 5w4d, but I only found out that early cause I had SCH and was bleeding heavily and they gave me an unscheduled u/s.  I feel like I've swallowed an octopus most days.  

Originally Posted by TenzinsMama 

kewpie, how far along were you when you found out you were having twins?  I can just imagine how much movement you would be experiencing when it is x2!

[TenzinsMama]

aura, I'm really going to try and do what you say about living life as normally as possible over the next few weeks, despite everything that is going on.  About getting the results, I can't imagine feeling so crushed when finding out it isn't a bfp, after going through the process...I sure wish we all didn't have to go through this.  Will you POAS again-- was it a helpful for you in your coping process, or would it have been better for you, do you think, if you hadn't?  I sure hope this is it for you!  I didn't realize you were as far along as you are.  Keep us posted-- I'm so excited for you!

Renavoo, I hope your ear cyst is going down!

[auraleigh]

tenzin- i think you have the right attitude about things! i say hope for the best with the meds.  other than the mental games we play with ourselves, the rest of it isn't really all that bad.  i probably will try not to POAS this time.  i think i gave myself an extra week of depression when all the tests came back negative.  the 2ww is maybe the hardest part of the whole process because there isn't much to do other than wait, but if i can mentally be strong enough, i want to wait for my beta.  mentally i think it will keep me calmer.  

[BellyBean]

Kewpie, haha love the image of an octopus inside of you!!!  Glad everything has calmed down a little for you!

Aura, I don't think I'll POAS this time either.  I used to like the gradual let down of a negative hpt, but this last time was really bad for me.  Everyday sent me deeper down a hole and I really wasted 5 days of my life. 

Tenzi, glad your excited to get started now! 

Renavoo, can I go to Austria for you?!?  I'd love to help you out and all :) Sorry you are having such a tough time with the teeth and cyst.

Blue, hope you are starting to feel better...what a crazy AF!!  I'll keep my fingers crossed that it means the supplements are working and this is your cycle!

rcr, hope everything is going well with you.

AFM, after 2 calls to the old clinic today I think I have a plan to pick up the frosties Wednesday.  I still haven't talked with the RE, but I got the nurse to agree to a date/time and she would call me if there was a problem with that plan.  When I was at the new clinic today I saw a delivery guy show up with a push dolly and the container said "dry shipper".  I hope mine isn't that big because I'll have DD with me too.  I like that I have something to do every day this week, it will fly by!  And then it will be time for the Lupron (next monday)...I shouldn't be this excited about shots, but I am!! 

[aprilmom]

auraleigh - ummmm they started me on 375 of gonal-f - I am guessing that is why the hot flashes hit me so quickly! I had my ER on a Friday last time and really hope that happens again because it was nice to have the weekend to get back to feeling like myself!  GL, I am excited for you!

TenzinsMama - I agree - Clomid made me CRAZY - my staff at the time would use the code word "blue coconuts" on my crazy days!  I feel much more in control of my moods with IVF.  I hope that you find the same response and that these don't impact you as much as clomid did.  Part of what took me so long to decide to do IVF was because I was not sure if I could handle it after clomid.  So, I am glad it is nothing like that!!

BellyBean - I understand being excited for starting shots... it feels like you are that much closer to the end result. GL picking up your frosties, I hope it all goes as planed and you don't have any issues getting them to the new clinic!

I know someone on here asked me at some point about doing this with a grade school aged kid at home and I don't think I ever answered.  DD is in 1st grade and she has seen on the meds but hasn't really asked what they are for.  We didn't share with her what we are doing because she wants a baby brother or sister so bad I can't get her hopes up to have her crushed.  I thought it wasn't impacting her until ER day.  I guess she asked DH if I was going to die.  WOW - that made me feel horrible that she had been thinking I was sick and taking the meds because I was going to die.  So, we just try to talk about what is on her mind and reassure her I am ok.  We try to keep the house as normal as possible.

I also know someone said they use their q-cap from their Menupor to suck up all their gonal f and make sure they are savoring it... AWESOME idea.  I started doing that this cycle and feel so much better (because I don't feel wasteful) and I am so worried that I will need to stim longer than expected and have to get more... so THANKS for the idea. 

[InWaiting]

Hi everyone!  I haven't checked in on the fall thread yet, but I've been lurking and keeping up with everyone!

Kewpie, I remembered that you had bleeding but I didn't realize it was due to SCH.  I was just diagnosed Sunday morning thanks to a huge bleeding scare-my bathroom looked like a CSI crime scene and I just KNEW we were miscarrying again.  The ultrasound showed our little wiggler (9w4d) and his/her heartbeat, so that was reassuring.  I'll have a follow-up ultrasound this Wednesday with my local doctor to see if the clot has changed in size.  Do you remember when yours resolved (or if it did)? 

ETA: Were you on bedrest?  If so, how long? 

[Kewpie80]

It took a while to clear, but it did finally.  I had an u/s every week.  It was first noticed at 5w4d when it drained and I bled.  It was smaller, but still open at 6w4d.  At 7w4d it had scabbed over, but was still there.  It shrunk each week and was completely gone by 10-11 weeks if I'm remembering correctly. 

Yes, I was on bedrest until 12 weeks and complete pelvic rest until 15 weeks.  The doc said I could get up to go to the bathroom and make a sandwich, but that was it and I wasn't supposed to lift anything heavier than a glass of water.

I thought I was miscarrying when it happened too.  It was pretty horrifying and I'm glad yours turned out to be SCH too and nothing worse.  Most SCH cases heal with no further problems.  It *can* cause placenta abruption which is why my doc was so careful with the bedrest and everything.  Not all doctors prescribe that, but mine seems to be overly cautious, which I like.

Originally Posted by InWaiting 

Kewpie, I remembered that you had bleeding but I didn't realize it was due to SCH.  I was just diagnosed Sunday morning thanks to a huge bleeding scare-my bathroom looked like a CSI crime scene and I just KNEW we were miscarrying again.  The ultrasound showed our little wiggler (9w4d) and his/her heartbeat, so that was reassuring.  I'll have a follow-up ultrasound this Wednesday with my local doctor to see if the clot has changed in size.  Do you remember when yours resolved (or if it did)? 

ETA: Were you on bedrest?  If so, how long?