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Fall IVF Thread: Let's hear it for the BFPs! - Page 17

post #321 of 965

april - That is such a beautiful quote! I wish I could give you a big hug right now.


aura - I'm keeping my fingers crossed for you! It certainly sounds like implantation bleeding.  I have no idea how long it takes for a late implanter to show up on a beta.  Maybe mention it to your RE and see what they say.


AFM - I ended up getting a flu shot today.  The nurse at the OB office asked if I wanted one and it just felt like a good idea.  She said your body makes up antibodies and it transfers to the baby and helps protect them after birth, so I figured it was a good idea.  

post #322 of 965

Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!!!!irked.gif  I just typed a reply and was all the way down to my AFM and about done and who knows what happened, but i lost it all!!!  Double grrrrrrrrrr!!


Belly - Yay for a baseline!!!!  Let us know how it goes!!


Aura - what the heck!!!  I hope that it is just "normal" pregnancy bleeding and nothing else.  I have had several friends that bleed through their pregnancy in the beginning... which is so not fair especially for someone with IF.  I think that is just plain mean!!  Keep us posted. When will you get your beta results?  If you are able i'd try to put your feet up and drink lots of water today if you can and lay low.  Sometimes that is hard, i know.


Renavoo - Holy busy schedule girl!!! Wow.  Sure hope it is making the time go by faster though.  Sorry i ment to type Oct 7th or 8th not Nov.  That would have been a really long cycle you are right!!!  I can't believe that Oct is this Sat already.  I'll stay on Lupron from tonight until the trigger shot but after my baseline they will have me drop it down from 20 units to 5units once they confirm that the supression is working then the fsh starts and the fun begins.


Tear - awwww... sorry to hear you have to go back to work soon.  That is sad but nice that your DH can be home with her and you don't have to send her to daycare or something... or are you?  What ever works for you i'm sure will end up fine.  Thanks for your kind words.  I can't believe we started off together and you have had your baby already. Seems just like yesterday in a way.  Crazy!!  Love having you as one of my cheerleaders!


AFM -  Why does this always happen?  So last night when DH and i were laying in bed i told him "you watch, once this IVF stuff starts up things will get busy with my work".  So this morning i get an email from one of my managers and it says that they are thinking they may want me to go full time here after Oct 1st.  It is all still up in the air and no one from higher up has even talked to me about it and he said in his email to keep it between "you and me" (i know you ladies won't say anything though).  Okay, that is just the worst timing since we are starting to get things moving here real soon plus the fact that i will be spending 1-3 wks out of state for monitoring this coming month.  I find this whole IVF thing such a taboo subject to bring up with bosses b/c who wants to hire on someone that is trying to get pregnant, you know?  I'm going to try not to think about it too much bc it will just add to my stress level which i don't need right now.  I hate making up excuses of why i can't work b/c of IVF or just having a ET and i can't lift over 10lbs, which in my job is like every hr.  Who knows.... can't imagine that they would want me to start full time Oct 1st when that is this Sat and i haven't even talked to any higher ups yet.  We will see.  I just kinda hope they can maybe stay slow and not officially need me until like Nov. that would be perfect b/c then I'd know if the IVF worked or not and it would make the decision a lot easier.  Always something it seems.  Is it just me or does this weird stuff happen to others too?  It's like every single time for me... like it seems when we have to do our IVF there is always a Niece or Nephew's B-day party that i might have to miss b/c we are out of town with an ER or transfer or i'm suppose to be on bed rest after an ET and we hate to lie about it, but we don't really want the whole world knowing.  Never ceases to amaze me.




post #323 of 965
blue, argh! But you do NOT owe your boss an explanation. They only need to hear that it's medical, not why. Can you get a generic letter from your doc that keeps out the details and reasons? I also think it stinks that we started together and you're still going through this. greensad.gif I SO want to see you get your baby(ies)! DH will be the one taking care of DD, and you're right: it makes it way easier. love.gif
post #324 of 965

I am at work so I will hop on tonight and do personals!


We (I, hubby had to work) met with the doctor this morning.  He confirmed it was an egg issue.  He said he even consulted with his mentor who agreed with his analysis.  He said he wished there was more he could do but he did not recommend another cycle (which we agree).  The hardest thing was he said it is hereditary and most likely our DD will have the same issues.  I asked what we can do to make sure she is healthy and give her the best chance - he encouraged her to have her children in her 20's.  He said that by the time she is there though she will probably have the option of freezing her eggs - so if she is not ready to have children by then to have her do that.  My heart was broken and I cried the whole way to work.  That was harder for me to hear then us not having any more bio - children.  The plus side is we know and can manage the expectations and behavior early on.  I called my mom (bad idea).  She said 'well there was this couple on the news last night that took them 3 tries, so maybe?' I said NO, they probably actually made it to transfer all of those times... I don't think the doctor would tell us not to do it if he felt different.  He said he would support egg donor or adoption as our next steps.  I told him that we would look to do adoption.  He said that many agencies want a note from your fertility specialist stating you are no longer seeking treatment.  They also want a doctor to sign off on your health... he said to let him know and he would be glad to do both.  He really has been wonderful and I would not have make it through this so easily with out him.  I will be writing him a letter letting him know what he has meant to us through this process. 

post #325 of 965

blue - I agree with Tear in that you don't owe them any explanation.  At my job, they pried a lot and I ended up telling them everything which in hindsight, was really wrong for them to do.  

post #326 of 965

april - I'm so sorry you didn't get better news.  My heart is breaking for you and also your daughter.  I love that your doctor has been so kind and understanding through this.  (hugs to you)

post #327 of 965

Tear  & Kewpie - I realize it is none of their business, but for me to keep having "medical issues" and turning them down for work ( i had to turn down a whole wk of work last ivf time after i already told them i would fill in b/c my RE bumped my IVF up to a 2 day transfer not a 5 day and I just told work that i had a medical procedure schedule for the end of the month and they moved it up unexpectedly, so i had to cancel all that work). Having another medical procedure again this coming month as my excuse isn't looking too promising.   It makes ME look bad when i'm a good employee & hard worker and that isn't good when I'm trying to get more work or even a part time or full time position with this company.  So if i would fess up and tell them, then they might have 2nd thoughts about hiring me on full or part time b/c of the situation.  God forbid i mention that once i get pregnant i'll already be high risk due to my past pregnancy losses... they wouldn't probably not want to touch me with a 10' pole especially if i would end up on their insurance.


April - hug.gif  Wow, i'm so sorry you are having to go through all of this.  I guess it is good to find out this information for you DD early b/c I'm sure if you or i would have known something like this it would have answered our questions of when we would start ttc in the first place.  I know DH and i got married when i was 26 and we waited like 3 yrs before we started and if i would have known then what i know now we would have started way earlier, so maybe in the long run that info will help your DD when she gets to that point.  Did your adopted mom have issues getting pregnant?  I know it took my mom 9 yrs to get pregnant with my brother and then another like 5 to have me so i really wonder if it is also in my genes too.  Where is that crystal ball when we need it!!!  How old were you when you got preg. w/ your DD?????

post #328 of 965

Hi everyone -


So another IVF-ICSI it is. I don't want to regret not taking this chance. Next day 3 would be testing and working out a cycle. Which should be interesting with the holidays...


Blue - I get you on the work disclosure stuff. I like my boss and I don't want to shove stuff off on my co-workers without giving them a reason other than "medical", but I also don't want to stick out when they are looking to cut costs...it's not an easy line to follow.


Belly - Aww to your daughter. When I have to do shots, I tell my daughter what I am about to do (in the hope she'll not be in dire need of me or a bathroom for a few minutes like every other time I need to use the bathroom). This last time, she would ask the if it was the really big needles (PIO) or the little ones (lupron). Neither answer got a response, just great big eyes and a "make sure you wash your hands".


RCR - Really? Cause obviously our bodies need to be trickier. Just when you think you know what to expect...we should all have the patience and insight of saints by now.


Kewpie - I hope you are still feeling well.


Rena - I was supposed to go to Helsinki to lead some training and I refused to go. They are coming here instead. I am not a good traveller. I am so glad my job does not require it.


Aura - Thinking of you.

post #329 of 965

Hi all just crashing!!!!


BLUE- Good luck with the first injection tonight.  Praying for you all the way through my friend.


APRIL-so sorry you are going thru this.  Sorry, but I find it odd that your RE would tell you not to try IVF again, our first RE said my eggs were horrible and I could just keep trying till we get a good one or move on to donor eggs.  Our second fresh IVF we also had nothing to transfer.  We then switched RE's and had over twenty eggs and only 3 fertilized which was a shock to the RE and embryologist.  But 2 of those made it to be our twins, that was our 3rd fresh IVF cycle.  I'm not at all telling you what to do and I believe your RE is sweet but you must follow your own path of what is in your heart, and I'm sure your family will be perfect no matter what route you choose.  I was watching Celine on Rachel Ray and she's very open about her 6 tries( but of course money is not an issuefor her either)  Hugs to you in this difficult time and sorry if I intruded but my own infertility was a long path and not an easy one and I never forget a minute of it.


AURA- good luck today


KEWPIE- glad your feeling well.  It's wonderful to see your ticker moving.


I'm stalking all of you because I feel you are such a wonderful, caring group of woman and I admire each and every one of you.  Infertility stays in our hearts and minds even when we graduate and we will never fit in the fertile world so I'm drawn to all of you here and hoping for the best outcomes.

post #330 of 965

Hi all, I've been following all the posts of the last couple of days but just kind of jumping on and off the 'puter so no time for personals... Just want to say, I've been SO GRUMPY the last couple of days!  I'm on CD29, and usually my cycle is 30 or 31 days, so it must be partly PMS and then the menopausal-like state that the suppression is causing me to be in.  So far, I'm on Day 8 of that.  So it must be building up in my system more.  It's kind of weird, isn't it, that you still get AF while in a menopausal-like state?  They told me that I should expect bleeding, and that it may or may not be the same as 'normal' in terms of length, amount.  Not sure what to expect.  I wish it would just arrive, so that I know things are progressing as they should.  I'm also extremely tired, I feel like I can't function sometimes... I guess I shouldn't be surprised by the extent of the fatigue, since everything makes me more tired now at my age.  Agh.  My poor DH and dogs... I'm getting annoyed with all three of them over various things! 


Aura, thinking of you right now...

post #331 of 965
Thread Starter 

Hi ladies! I'm just so excited that I will be going home tomorrow! Flight is at 10am. I can't wait!!

haha I'm such an awful traveler and this trip has been insane and exhausting so I'm glad to go home. I had to drink some coffee these last two days because of jet lag and I slept only 2 hours last night. sniff. I also broke down and had a glass of wine tonight to relax after the meeting was finally over. Oh well, i don't think it's a big deal anyway but a part of me still wishes that I didn't!


April, wow, what horrible news. :o( The good thing is that you can tell your daughter when she grows older and she can make her choice. Maybe when she's older, we'll have even better technology and it won't be as big of a concern anymore. That's what I hope, anyway!  I'm sorry though and I hope that you're feeling ok.


Blue, UGH to work. I totally get what you're saying...I always feel like work interferes with my comfort during a cycle. I don't know if it's because we feel extra stress so anything new cropping up seems like extra stress or what. Your situation is a lot different though since you would be going to full time work. I don't want to tell my coworkers and especially my boss anything either but I decided that if I had to, I would. My boss mentioned that I might be working on a project that would require flying to California in a few weeks. Probably 1-2 weeks after my transfer. I was stressed about that because I know that some people do not advocate for flying during that time. I'm trying to decide whether I should...I may not even know if I'm pregnant by that time! So I was considering having my doctor write a letter just in case. Of course, my doctor doesn't seem to think that it's a problem for me to fly after the transfer as long as I wait a few days.


Julie, good for you about deciding on IVF. I hope you're at peace with your decision...I think it's a good one just because this way you won't feel like you're wasting time. Let us know when everything starts up so we can support you through the process!


Big hugs everyone!!



post #332 of 965

hi everyone.


beta was negative. they called me around two, i broke down in tears, and left work early to spend the rest of the day with my mother and sister.  the whole family was gathering for the holiday dinner, and it was tough trying not to be debbie downer.  i don't think i fooled anyone.  


husband and i are really sad and disappointed.  i am usually very pessimistic/realistic, but because of the spotting i was convinced it may be positive.  i let myself fantasize about what were going to do next, and now that i'm not pregnant it seems that much more frustrating.  i'm really depressed, i just feel like i followed every direction and did exactly what i was told, and all i have to show for it are an extra 10lbs and no more insurance (maxed out).  i'm also sad that it was such a tough decision to chose donor sperm, but my husband was willing because it's our only option.  and now it looks like even that didn't work.  i guess i'm off this month because the dr wants us to schedule a time to come in and talk.  oh, and i am not sure but i may or may not be getting my period.  it's very weird and is still resembling heavy spotting that comes and goes... which is nothing like my period.  maybe once i stop the estrogen and progesterone it will come on full force.  i just want to get it over and done with.  i hate my body right about now.

post #333 of 965
Thread Starter 

Aura, that's so disappointing and my heart is breaking for you. It's so cruel and I know we were all hoping that the bleeding was a function of pregnancy and not upcoming AF. I'm so sorry. hug2.gif

Please don't blame or hate your body...it's not fair that any of us have to face such hardships when trying to do something so natural. Maybe, somehow, our babies, when we finally have them, will somehow benefit because we will have worked so hard for them...I know that they will be very well loved, at least. It will happen...once again, there is a roadblock, but you will get past the blockage and one day soon, I will be excited to celebrate you becoming a mother! I do hope that you eventually speak with your doctor, when you're ready and that the doctor gives you some answers and some suggestions about how to proceed. Most importantly, I hope that you find peace in the next few days. We're all here for you whenever you need.



post #334 of 965

Aura, that's such devastating news... I'm so sorry that it didn't work.  My heart is also breaking for you.  You and your DH did everything you could, and it's just so unfair...why, why, why does it have to be this way?  I don't know what else to say right now, other than, know that we are here for you in whichever way you need.  hug2.gif

post #335 of 965

Aura, I am so very sorry hug2.gif I was really hoping that the donor sperm would get you a bfp this cycle.  Both you and your DH did everything you could.  I really hope your RE has some good answers for you and can help you decide what to do next.  Hugs.

post #336 of 965

Aura - hug.gif  I'm so sorry to read the news.  Don't blame yourself at all!!!  You did everything possible that was asked of you.  I know it is very easy for us women w/ IF to put all the blame on ourselves alone, but there are some things we just can't control and this is one of them.  I totally know it is easier said than done.  Take care and keep us posted.  When do you meet with you RE to talk about the situation?


Momtoalexis - You are too sweet and it is always good to have you cheering us on and to have input from someone that "has been there, done that" and truly understands. 


Renavoo - hope you have a safe flight and can adjust back to our time again.  Good thing you have the weekend to be lazy.  One of our friends flew in from India and got in around noon and just stayed up until like 9-10pm and then went to bed and got over his jet lag pretty fast.  If you can do it i'd try that!!!

post #337 of 965

Aura - I'm so sorry it didn't work hug2.gif. Be good to yourself this weekend... 


Sorry I've been mostly lurking here... have started BCP for a FET but the actual transfer won't be until around November 25th! I can't believe it is so far away and am nervous that this isn't optimal. I feel like it is more based on the clinic's schedule than my cycle. I have to go in for a sonohysterogram today and I'm worried I will be a basketcase... last time we were in the RE's office was when they told me I was having a miscarriage. This week in general I just feel like I am having a hard time keeping it together. I feel like just curling up in bed and hiding - but when I do that I start to panic.

post #338 of 965

aura - I'm so sorry!   hug2.gif I was so hoping for a better outcome.

post #339 of 965

So, not the greatest news at the perinatologist today. The babies are fine and measuring on time (Liam 1 pound 4 oz, Maisie 1 pound 3 oz) but my body isn't cooperating. My cervix is shortening already (I'm 23 weeks) and so they're getting pretty concerned. I'm on partial bedrest for the next week and complete pelvic rest for the rest of the pregnancy. (I was on pelvic rest the first 14 weeks too... my poor DH) They will check my cervix length again next thursday and if it continues to shorten, it'll be full bedrest for the rest of the time. Dang am I glad I've been working the last month to get food in the freezer and stuff organized. I had a feeling this was coming.

post #340 of 965

Kewpie -  I'm glad they caught it early... that is the best news actually (to catch it).  I'm also glad you have been preparing with dinners and what not so you won't be so stressed.  You are a smart girl!!!!  Did the dr say anything about a cervical cerclage by chance???  I know they mentioned that with our twins if I got to that point.  Keep us posted.

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