You guys are amazing...I think what keeps me optimistic is having you all to talk to and seeing just how strong you all are. No matter where we are in this journey, there is such support and it's truly heartwarming...if only there was more support like this in the world- maybe the world would be a better, more accepting place.
Tear, please don't ever feel like an imposter or like you don't belong here. I love having you here and drawing from your strength and optimism. Having you, MomtoAlexis and Kewpie here gives us all hope that one day, we will be the ones that will be pregnant or holding our babies in our arms. Also, i think that anyone that had to turn to IVF has had a difficult time dealing with infertility...even though the process itself isn't as difficult anymore, the concerns about time, money, potential impact on future health, etc, make this time a really stressful time. The fact that you had to deal with it for 2.5 years should never be minimized but i love that you now focus more on the outcome and what you've gained!
Kewpie, your suggestion about finding something else to keep your mind a little distant (because we know it will never be completely off!) from fertility is a great idea and so necessary. Whenever i get extra down about being infertile, I just make myself think about all the other wonderful things I have in life. My DH. My family, job, photography...The list goes on and I realize that I am lucky. And for all of us that continue to try to get pregnant, the one thing is that i have a fundamental belief ingrained in me that our dreams WILL come true...they may take a different route than we expected (i.e. using other people's eggs/sperm, adoption, etc) but one day, we all will hold and love our babies. And all of this will be worth it.
Treehugger, welcome and we're so happy to have you join us, even though you're not ready to ttc. I agree with Blue that this thread will still be around when you need it and i feel like a lot of us will still check in even if we're no longer needing the fertility support. Being on this thread has helped me so much that i know that once i get pregnant or somehow, am gifted with my baby, I will want to share any of my knowledge and experiences to help anyone else with this difficult journey. Sorry about what your DH and you are going through...are you guys preparing yourselves mentally and financially for IVF? If you have any questions, please let us know...One thing I want to say is that before i began IVF, I also thought that it was overwhelming and scary. After going through one cycle and on the cusp of doing my FET, i have to say that it really isn't too bad...the shots are not fun, the process is stressful and at times exhausting and being bloated is a constant state of being but generally, I expected a lot worse. So I hope this relieves your mind a little. Also, hopefully, in a few years, when you're ready to try, significant advances in infertility will have been made, making your journey even easier. I hope that happens for you.
Aura, how are you feeling today? i hope that you feel better and more optimistic. I just wanted to let you know that i'm thinking of you and sending you so many positive vibes that I'm surprised you don't feel them physically ;o)
PurplePiggie, I'm so sorry. I know it was expected but it's just so sad when it finally is said and done and you have lost the baby. I'm glad you vented your feelings throughout the week...keeping all that sadness inside wouldn't be healthy. And it's ok to feel angry and bitter, I think, as long as it doesn't take over your life. I often feel negative and for those times I look on Facebook and see a new announcements, I quickly just close the page. i just can't deal with it. I'm happy for them but just sad for DH and me. It's even sadder when you experience loss, like you are. So I hope you feel like it's natural to vent and rail and cry and let out all your emotion. And we're here to take it and listen and empathize and give you strength. Infertility, whether it's while ttcing #1,2,4, or #6 is never easy...I think we all have an feeling about how many babies we want and to not have the ability to have a baby when we really want it, makes us feel powerless. At least that's how I feel a lot of the times. And considering I've always felt empowered in most aspects of my life, this new feeling of powerlessness is truly disheartening.
Tenzins, how are you doing? How are you feeling? I'm going to have to take both esterase and endometrin vaginally starting Sunday so I definitely know what you are going through! Personally, I have taken endometrin and it makes me feel pregnant and bloated. But it's definitely NOT as bad as taking progesterone orally...that turned me into a madwoman! i prefer the suppositories so much more...fewer psychiatric issues! i took estrace orally last cycle and i really didn't feel much at all. This time, i'm taking it vaginally and besides blue CM (and a lot of it!) and really tender breasts, I've felt ok. Bloated too, but that's my constant companion these days. Hope you're doing well!!
Blue, yah for a road trip and yah that Abby is doing better! haha I bet it'll be fun to have Abby there with you during the car ride anyway...i wouldn't imagine that driving 5 hours alone would be fun either. Did you get AF yet? When are you going to your aunts? is it supposed to be sometime late this month? And I think all the drugs make me crave sweets. haha i have been awful about eating sweets these days. I think it's because i had some swiss chocolates and also, I have been buying halloween chocolates. At work, i also teach a class (my company has some of us teaching classes that help educate our coworkers about our business) and i usually bring candy to keep the people awake. haha
I'm trying to stop eating as much chocolate though because i know there is caffeine in chocolate. how much do you ladies limit your chocolate intake? Darn me for being a chocoholic!
AFM, i got my results back from my US and bloodwork and everything is a go. Lining is at 11mm (although in the office, the doctor said it was around 13mm so i don't know which it is! my nurse told me 11mm so I'm going to just stick with that number). Apparently, I'm rather responsive to estrace vaginally! I'm going to be starting endometrin suppositories on Sunday. Does anyone know if it's ok to put them in at the same time? Belly, what did you do? i wanted to at least put in both at the same time in the morning and then stagger according to the time since estrace is twice a day and endometrin is three times a day. Ah, the wonders of panty liners. They really are my best friend now. Anyway, i find out on Wednesday what time my transfer will be happening on frIday. Thursday, DH and i will be making the 5 hour trip to MD and staying over until Saturday. Can't wait to come home!!
I had trouble sleeping last night so I ended up coming home from work last night and sleeping from 8:30 on to 4am this morning. I feel better but i may take a nap later today :o)
Sorry for the novel! big hugs to everyone. I'm sending positive vibes to everyone!!!