Resources to explain HFA to family members.

[naturemomma13]

My son is on the path to be diagnosed with High Functioning Autism.  He is sometimes so mild that our extended family sees nothing going on with him at all and contributes his behaviors and limited social speech to his being a toddler only.  Some of my family is very supportive and sees something "going on" with my son, but they are in denial. 

Does anyone have some good resources that explain HFA specifically, and even better, for a toddler?  My 22 month old is a hyperlexic, affectionate, music lover, and I think it would be so much easier for extended family to play and interact with him if they understood him a bit better. Thank you in advance!!

[sbgrace]

I don't think you can rush denial. It's process. They will see it as the child ages (or not...my father still thinks my clearly spectrum son "just" has Attention Deficit). Instead, I would just tell them what works...if he gets overwhelmed it calms him to do x, he loves it when you do y, slow down your speech a lot and he responds better, or whatever. After all every spectrum child is an individual anyway so no general information will really apply to helping your son as meaningfully as specifics about his needs and responses. It's very difficult when family members can't see it but it really is normal for some to be denial or even fluctuate in and out. It's just hard for the one night in denial and needing support of course. I found online a good support especially in the beginning when almost everyone had some measure of denial here except me.

[dandelionmom]

You can try Special Needs Moms for Moms here: http://specialneedsmomsformoms.com . They have a forum, groups and resource pages that can help I think.

[LynnS6]

Just like it takes a long time for parents to come to grips with a diagnosis, it also takes extended family time. And, unfortunately, it's not  until he doesn't outgrow some of these things that it'll become clearer to them. I have a nephew with Asperger's syndrome, and it took my parents a good two years to accept it. Seeing that he didn't outgrow it helped. Learning that his inflexibility and inability to see another point of view when he was upset wasn't just pigheadedness helped. Understanding that his mom didn't bring 'special' food for him to family dinners simply because she was anxious about his not eating but that he couldn't eat things due to texture helped. He's a great kid, but definitely different. No way they could have seen that at age 2.