Bitter Sushi Ladies, September 2011 - Page 5

[lilmom]

TandN- Hooray..here come the veggies...Congrats!!!! Sooo exciting!! Also, what the heck about your sister saying that to you! I would be livid. But oh well. Now is your time to celebrate!

Milkshake & TandN- I had DS at 37 wks exactly to the day and he was and is super healthy. Just wanted to throw in some encouragement to you two along those lines! Of course you already know that it is really full term anyway, so nothing to super stress about.

Wissa- So sorry about the rash! Is there some reason you think your IF may be c-section related other than the rash? I am curious, since I had a section with DS too. I really, really wish I hadn't though. I've had lots of pain/itching/tingling/numbness with my scar, and sometimes it still bothers me, 4 yrs later.

I hope my problem is just the pcos..I don't need anything else added in there! Still hoping the surgery will ultimately help you!

[BelovedK]

Wow, so many new BSLs

I doubt I am remembered by anyone. I am the one whose husband left her, and I am out. I am getting up there in age too, but I am back with my old bf, I am so in love, and there is such chemistry. He is the father of my son, who is 16 (!!!!)

Well, I had copious egg whites, and though I have stopped temping, I am certain I am fertile. I have had a baby with this man before, and he is a very virile looking man, and I can just tell he is. I suspect my husband (ex) was at fault for all of my BFNs and though I had 2 m/c, I really think he had a very low sperm count.

I have had a run of bad luck (I won't go into it all) this year, and sorta the end of last year. The worst thing (which I am trying to reframe) is that my son has decided he wants to move in with his dad. It is closer to his friends and school. My two best friends have paired off, and are no longer as close with me, and our dance troupe has broken up. I could go on, but I have been one big ball of tears lately, and it is my birthday which has always been a hard time for me, not sure why.)

So, I am finally in a real 2ww. I had a feeling after we DTD. I am so mixed in my feelings though, because of my age, and my inability to trust another male in my life after all I've been through. I had an email communication with my ex husband, and he admitted that he married me without loving me, and that his family didn't like me I knew that, and he was mentally abusive. he broke it off with me over the phone while I was in a coffee shop.

Congrats to the BFPs

So, hello to those who remember me

[toothfairy2be]

Hi Beloved, I actually do remember your name from a while back when I was just lurking. I must not have been checking in when you departed, but I'm sorry to hear about your ex husband and your son. Sounds like the world has worked in mysterious ways for you, glad to hear you have found happiness with your ex, I hope that if you are still wanted for another child, that this 2ww is successful for  you. We are new, but we are all here for your support and to listen to whatever you need. Welcome back

TandN- So happy to hear good news!

AFM- AF is starting, my temp crashed and my back is killing like it usually does the first day of AF... sigh... I knew it was coming, but it still hurts.

I am also feeling really emotional about 9/11 today, it is strange because I was 16- I honestly had never seen or heard of the Twin Towers at the time. It seems to get more painful every year as I have more life experience and understand more the impact it had on others lives and our country.

[Smilesarefree]

Sweetest and TandN  - !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  Congrats!!!!!!  I have moved you both to the graduates list (it's the best thing about being threadkeeper!) 

[Kinza]

Hi, Beloved!  So sorry about all the crappy things you've gone through, but I was just thinking about you the other day while reading this thread.  It's great to see you posting again, and good luck with your 2WW!

[monkeyscience]

Okay, will probably missing a few things because I've been reading along on my phone and not replying. Just skimmed back to try to remember what I wanted to say.

TandN - YAAYYY!! Glad you got your second positive, and hoping for good #s on your blood draw! Will they do a second draw to check for doubling time?

Beloved - I remember you! I was actually thinking about you because I ran across a blog that reminded me of you in some ways. I don't think it was you because of some of the details, but who knows? Anyway, I'm sorry you have had such a rough time this past year, but glad that you've got some good things in return! Let us know how your TWW turns out!

AFM, maybe I've O'd? Not sure. Technically I might have, but the temps aren't as high as my usual post-O temps. But you should look at my chart, because it looks like a mirror-image of an ovulatory chart. Verrrry weird.

[lilmom]

Beloved!! Hello! And a belated Happy Birthday to you! Sometimes I have a hard time on my birthday too. Ok, most times. I was thinking of you yesterday for some reason, wondering if you were still back with your ex, so this is pretty exciting news, about the tww and all. All we can do is take it one day at a time, when it comes to trust after heartbreak. And your ex husband clearly was a huge jerk, so don't worry about anything he says! Wishing you the best!

Monkey- How exciting would that be if you O'ed again!!!! Your chart does look promising. Sometimes my O temps are higher and sometimes they are a little lower, just depends where I started out at, if that makes sense. Not sure why that happens. But I am really excited for you that your body seems to be trying really hard to get it together on its own!! Keep us posted!

[LessTraveledBy]

Originally Posted by monkeyscience t!

AFM, maybe I've O'd? Not sure. Technically I might have, but the temps aren't as high as my usual post-O temps. But you should look at my chart, because it looks like a mirror-image of an ovulatory chart. Verrrry weird.

Monkey.... there is something odd going on with your chart. Did you have signs that ovulation might be about to happen? It seems to me that there are two possibilities: Either you did not ovulate and something caused those lower temps in the middle. The other possibility is that you did ovulate, However, in that case there is something wrong, as your temps should not stay up like that after AF. Or are your temps so much lower this cycle that those temps during AF are actually your normal low temps? I wish I remembered what I have read.. There is, however, some explanation to what could be wrong if the temps don't come down soon after AF. My friend has my big nfp book in another country, so I can't look for it, but I bet it can be found by googling. In any case, that should not be happening, if it indeed did happen.

AFM, starting to really hope and wait for a call about a foster baby, as mil will leave on Wednesday. I am SO ready for a baby to come. I got the "usual" responses this week about our situation, and also realized that I don't think mil has had any idea how hard out situation has been for us. (Thus all those stories about other people's kids that used to be really hard for me to hear.) The fact that I nursed dd until past 3,5 was probably interpreted by some as us not wanting more kids, etc. She also, I think, had wondered if that somehow could have caused our infertility. I also realized that motherhood is not as enjoyable or easy for some and that the thoughts of older people are colored by how things have turned out with their kids. If one has endless stress and even hearth break due to one's kids, I think it can become difficult to truly feel sad with the person who wants kids. It can be like "you should enjoy the life you have, as it could get much worse after those kids" or something like that. Yet, I would like to opportunity to try and have kids whose lives would not be a mess and all that. Funny thing, too, as we are voluntarily setting ourselves up for stress and heart break with this fostering thing. So there... But in any case, it was good to see things from another point of view. We are not the only ones that can be sensitive to certain things.... I suppose people's comments often reflect their own hurts. 

HI BELOVED! I certainly remember you. I am happy for you and very worried for you at the same time, if that makes sense. I mean so much has happened to you in a very short period of time. I hope you are able to take time to heal and develop trust, if your boyfriend is someone worth your trust. I have thought of you often and have been so sad and angry for you for how your ex treated you.

By the way, I did not know I was one of those people who feel too ugly to look at photos of themselves, but that does seem to be true. I went to a party yesterday and don't want to click the link to see the photos. When I really think of it, though, I think I have never really wanted to see photos of myself. I have always felt fat, thanks to my parents trying to make me lose weight when I was 8 or so. Oh yeah, and the dumb doctor who asked my mom right in front of me when I was 7: "And what is the reason for this obesity?" I was very tall and a bit chubby, never truly fat. It seems that I had thyroid problems even then, and my dad has never been skinny, so there. I feel a bit sad to realize how I have always felt about myself. It was hard for me to get ready for the party yesterday, knowing that everyone else in the photos would be skinny and tall. I am not even fat, really, just have always been strong and "sturdy." Dh says I would have made a good country wife. ;)

[monkeyscience]

Okay, temp back down today. No ovulation. Sigh. Not really surprised.

LTB - If you look at my chart from August, you can see what my charts are normally like. Anything under 97.5 is a normal pre-O temp for me, although usually it's 97.3 and under. So the temps at the beginning of the cycle aren't actually abnormally high for me. It's just more strange that there seemed to be a distinct pattern to them as opposed to them being more all over the place. I would also note that with the cycle in August, FF says I ovulated CD 41, but according to TYCOYF, I should could CD43 as O day, which also fits better with what I know of my own temperature patterns.

[LessTraveledBy]

Ok, I think I get it, Monkeyscience. Sorry it was not ovulation, though, if that remains so. For what it is worth, I don't really find FF all that reliable.

[monkeyscience]

Yeah, I mostly put my data in FF so it will draw my graph for me and so others can obsess over it with me. I draw my own conclusions. :)

[wissa19]

TandN - Official Congrats!!    That's wonderful news!  Also, 37 weeks does sound early, but like lilmom said that is full-term!  I actually have a friend who had all her babies at 34-35 weeks...and they were all very healthy and went home with no stays in the NICU.

Beloved - Welcome back!

Monkey - I hope you O'd again.  I'm not much into charts, but I'm crossing my finger for you!! ;)

LTB - You're sounding much more at peace.  I think you make a good point how everyone looks at things through their life experiences.  Hope to hear good news from you soon about a Foster baby.

lilmom - I think the tubes and endo might be related to the c-section because from the searching I have done on the Internet it does seem possible.  I could feel them up in my ribs after DS was delivered and it was quiet painful.  I still have soreness in my ribs from it that no one wants to address. I think its entirely possible that I have endo in my ribs and other places from the C-section. I mean hello there a big cut in your uterus!  Also, I have read that if the surgeons are rough during the c-section they can in fact damage your tubes.  (Note one of mine was completely blocked).  You can also develop endo in your scar tissue at the incision site.  Also, I can't find the link but I read that there is a slightly higher percentage of secondary IF in women who deliver their first child by c-section.

I can't say for sure that the C-section caused the problem, but I do feel that something about the delivery may have made any previous issues worse.  I say this because I got prego with DS the first month I tired and we only B'ding like twice that month because I had the flu.  And I have told my dr's from the being that my body was just not right after DS...of course they would just pat my shoulder and tell me your body just hasn't returned to normal yet...well 3 1/2 years later I'm still waiting for it to turn back to normal!

Also, I would say that me for a C-section was absolutely needed.  DS flipped into the breech position at 38 weeks and was almost diagonal across my tummy and this was not discovered until after my water broke and I was 5cm.  He also had a big head (some newborn hats would not fit on his head!), so I don't think a vaginal birth would have been a good choice for either of us.

Ok...my rant is over.

AFM - Waiting on post-op visit (2 weeks after surgery) so we can start trying again.  I've given in & purchased some OPKs.  I'm not big into charts as I never wake up at the same time any day.  Plus, I charted for months, found a predictable pattern in my cycles and decided it wasnt' doing me much good. Umm, I wonder if that could be because of the the block tubed!    If I hopefully get some encouraging news at the post-op I may try charting again...so it's good to know you ladies are chart experts!! :)

[Smilesarefree]

Beloved - I do remember you, sorry for all of the hardships you have undergone.

Wissa - Hoping you get some good news, I've never gotten into the swing of chartingh either, I've tried a few times but I just can't seem to keep at it.  I've been sticking to the opk's until about 2 cycles ago.

AFM - So I guess I did o really early just like I thought, I am on cd21 and af came today.  My cycles have been all over the place, 35 days 18 days, 22 days, 25 days just all over the place.  Anyone have any tips to regulating a cycle?  I have thought about vitex but have read so many mixed reviews so I don't know what to do.  Before dd I was bascially every 28/29 days and now I am all messed up.

[beautifulnm]

Sweetest, I'm happy for your BFP and hope s/he's STICKY STICKY STICKY!

lil, thanks for your condolences..

Beloved, I didn't know you since I'm new but I'm sorry to hear all your troubles and hope you'll find a more even keel soon..

As for me... AF is late, late, late. IDK yet, but I'm kind of obsessing over my cycle length and making myself crazy with WebMD. Going to poas tomorrow but not getting my hopes up too much. If not going to try those ov tests and make myself a doctor's appointment.

[lilmom]

Wissa- I am so sorry to hear about all those troubles post c-section. So no one will address the soreness in the ribs? Could it possibly be something a chiropractor could help with? I'm crazy about my chiro. I have had trouble with my scar, and also will say that I have not been right since I was pregnant with my son. I had a very difficult pregnancy and just in general my health has gone downhill too, so I really feel your pain on that. But I also think it could just be that I am getting older as well, and in my case, have been under a huge amount of stress the past 2 yrs too. I hope it is not endo under your ribs but it sounds possible. I still am rooting for you that the surgery may have helped fix some of this stuff!

Smiles- so sorry about the wacky cycles. I know how frustrating that is! There are some things that seem to help me. One is eating very healthy. Also, acupuncture helps me every time. (too bad I haven't been able to go lately!) I am personally too scared to try vitex. I tried Maca and it made my already long cycles longer, so that didn't work for me but I know it has helped some people. But all that said, I have never had by the book cycles so I don't know. I wish I had a good answer for you. Sounds like maybe your hormones have been slightly off or something. Have you had bloodwork recently?

AFM, big ob/gyn appt is finally coming tomorrow! I am so happy to finally be going, but also nervous that this guy will just be more of the same and not really help me. Either way, I will be glad to go and just make the attempt at talking to a new doc.

In my other health news, I saw the gastroenterologist today and I am scheduled for an upper GI scope next week and an MRI, date TBD. I am really nervous about it. I don't do really well with medical tests and all that. But I need to do it. This Dr. thinks that either my gallbladder is wrecked and that the other two tests just didn't show it, or that there is a stone somewhere that didn't show, OR that it could be an ulcer. I am pretty sure it is not an ulcer but I guess you never know. I just hope to find out something and get this taken care of so I can get on with my life (and ttc again).

I really hope the doc tomorrow is great. I'm hoping he'll be patient enough to hear my whole story and try to help me out.

I will definitely let everyone know the appt goes!

[CA Country Girl]

Hello BSL.  I hope the day has gone well for all of you. 

Monkey and LTB- I have been doubting FF too.  It only considers temp and ignores all other signs.  I think it got my O day wrong this month.  Glad I only paid for a few months.

Beloved-I am new here, but glad to meet you.

Wissa-hope you get good news!

AFM, I have been very busy with the new semester, but my students seem pretty good.  I got my hormone tests back.  All normal, so I am just looking at trying to raise my progesterone level and maybe lower my TSH.  These too were considered normal, but "not ideal" according to my acupuncturist.  I know some of you have heard this before, so sorry for the repeat.  I got a consultation for me and my husband in mid-October with the OB/GYN.  But even hearing the nurse say they were scheduling me for an "Infertility Consultation" make my heart fall.  I hate that word.

[Milk8shake]

So it looks like I am pregnant again.  Haven't even had AF after the D&C.  I know what you are thinking: don't these people have any hobbies? 

I'm actually quite embarrassed.  It's funny, because this morning, I had spotting, and I could have sworn that AF was on her way, because my belly was a bit uncomfortable.  I even stocked my handbag with girly supplies.  But it never got to be any more than a bit of spotting, which never happens.  I took a hpt when I got home, and:

[Tear78]

Hoping, hoping, hoping!!! s to you while you wait and stress.

[Smilesarefree]

Ah Milk8shake, I am so hoping that this is the lucky one for you.  I'll be thinking about you.

[BelovedK]

Originally Posted by Milk8shake 

So it looks like I am pregnant again.  Haven't even had AF after the D&C.  I know what you are thinking: don't these people have any hobbies? 

I'm actually quite embarrassed.  It's funny, because this morning, I had spotting, and I could have sworn that AF was on her way, because my belly was a bit uncomfortable.  I even stocked my handbag with girly supplies.  But it never got to be any more than a bit of spotting, which never happens.  I took a hpt when I got home, and:

How exciting!!!!!!!!