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September Pagan Circle - Page 2

post #21 of 211

Thanks for all the replies about spirituality/god.  I think I was in a bit of a panic mode with my health scare.  Everything is ok now.  

post #22 of 211

I'm glad you've come back to equilibrium, DoK. A cancer scare is a terrible thing-you are lucky.

 

Valerie, I'm sorry I didn't respond before about your feelings and thoughts about your mother's death. It's been 22 years since my mother passed, and in many ways, I have not gotten over it, but for different reasons now. But time has healed many of those wounds, and time will heal them for you. A year is still fresh in my mind. *hugs*

 

Today is my last day of vacation. Tomorrow begins a crazy semester. I hope I can manage the load I've put upon myself.

post #23 of 211

Morning everyone:)

 

Today I have a few things to do around this place, of course.  My guys are having friends over, so the house is going to be full of screaming teen girls who are going to eat me out of house and home:)  Thanks goodness DH has today off so I will have someone to chat with. 

 

I hope everyone has a great day!

post #24 of 211

 

You all have such beautiful responses to DoK's original post.  

 

I'm so glad to hear your cancer scare is over, DoK! thumb.gif I can't imagine what you must be feeling or Valerie.  I know that for myself, when I am looking for spiritual strength, I also look to what I refer to as "the HP" - higher power - kind of like Wolfcat's CGB.  I spend time in nature doing meditative walks because I feel that the Earth is one of the manifestations of the HP and I am closest to her/it there.  It's like going to church for me.  

 

I think about this a lot, really, how I am going to introduce my beliefs to my DD...or at least how I am going to help her find her own beliefs while explaining what my beliefs are.  Going to Sunday School at the United Methodist church as a kid they had little 2 page workbook like things every week.  "Jesus loves you" or "Sinning is bad" theme or whatever... you know, very simple but very to the point.  I want her to have, as Clay so succinctly put it, a comfort food but I just don't know how to instill it in her other than just to talk to her about what our family believes and keep practicing what we do.  See, I'm rambling here...

 

Took a quick walk before the rain this morning.  Looks like a relaxing day ahead of us.  Watching the rain fall - hoping it will break this humidity.  Keep telling myself before long there will be snow so I should enjoy the warmth.  

post #25 of 211
post #26 of 211

Hi y'all!

 

I had this whole post written out the other day, with multi-quotes and everything, and it went POOF, and I got so frustrated that I haven't posted back. Grrrr.

 

Anyway, it's my last night at M's mecry.gifand it felt, while good, like a very short trip this time, and every time I come up here, I get teeny chinks of afraid that Caregiver won't want to watch ds anymore so I can come back.

I'm really, REALLY wanting the house to sell, and soon, so it won't be an issue anymore! The bee sting people didn't schedule a re-showing while I was gone. I need to be out of there so dang badly. I want to be HERE. In MA.

 

Tomorrow ought to be a hoot. Storm Lee is finding its way up the East coast and I am supposed to land in Charlotte right in the middle of torrential rain. And then drive two hours. Ugh. Hopefully the hardest of the rain will have fallen by the  time I need to land, and drive home.

 

Clay-- where's the baby? I'm pulling for you, mama. I hope she comes when you need her to!

post #27 of 211
Thread Starter 

Daughter - So glad that you're healthy!

Wombat - Hoping to hear you had the baby this weekend.

Maia - That sucks about the bee people. I'm glad you enjoyed your visit.

 

My four year old learned to ride a two wheel bicycle this weekend. I just ran a few steps to help her start and off she went. Pretty awesome.

post #28 of 211
Quote:
Originally Posted by Valerie.Qc View Post

I love this book: http://www.douglaswood.com/pages/books/children/bk_grandadsprayers.html

 

 



I love this book:)



Quote:
Originally Posted by Maiasaura View Post


Anyway, it's my last night at M's mecry.gifand it felt, while good, like a very short trip this time, and every time I come up here, I get teeny chinks of afraid that Caregiver won't want to watch ds anymore so I can come back.

I'm really, REALLY wanting the house to sell, and soon, so it won't be an issue anymore! The bee sting people didn't schedule a re-showing while I was gone. I need to be out of there so dang badly. I want to be HERE. In MA.

 

Tomorrow ought to be a hoot. Storm Lee is finding its way up the East coast and I am supposed to land in Charlotte right in the middle of torrential rain. And then drive two hours. Ugh. Hopefully the hardest of the rain will have fallen by the  time I need to land, and drive home.

 

Clay-- where's the baby? I'm pulling for you, mama. I hope she comes when you need her to!


I am hoping you sell your house asap! I remember when I was just where you are now, wanting to get to the New England area so bad.  It felt like it took forever.  Sending selling your house vibes!  I hope the weather isn't bad for you while you travel.

 

Clay, thinking about you hoping that baby arrives.

 



Quote:
Originally Posted by revolting View Post

My four year old learned to ride a two wheel bicycle this weekend. I just ran a few steps to help her start and off she went. Pretty awesome.


joy.gif how wonderful.

 

post #29 of 211

That book is gorgeous Valerie! 

 

revolting: amazing about your daughter on her bike!  who was more proud you or her? 

 

maia: safe travels back to NC!!

 

redveg: how did the day with the screaming teen girls go? 

 

Rainy, chilly day here.  time for reflection, i think.

post #30 of 211
Thread Starter 

So, who has a Pagan Pride coming up in their area? Anyone going? I'm kind of on the fence about it. I'd love to get more active in the larger community, and they do have kids' stuff. However, my partner is not Pagan and probably would prefer not to attend. I hate to separate the family on the weekend. Not sure what I'm going to do yet.

post #31 of 211
Quote:
Originally Posted by vydalea View Post

redveg: how did the day with the screaming teen girls go? 


Went well.  They played air hockey and watched movies in the basement.  There were only 4 girls here but it sounded like 20:)

 



Quote:
Originally Posted by revolting View Post

So, who has a Pagan Pride coming up in their area? Anyone going?

I wish I had something like that in my area.  I would so go:)

post #32 of 211

hi ladies. subbing  :)

post #33 of 211

There isn't enough or a unified pagan community here to ever get pagan pride off the ground.  Some year we'll go to Boston or Albany though to take part.

 

It's an odd feeling to know that, one way or the other, AppleBelle-y will be an outer child by Monday.  Starting at around 7pm tonight the launch window re-opens (it was closed yesterday and for much of today because of apppointments and lack of child care for the older kiddos) so she can come on her own if she likes, and then on Friday I have a midwife visit in the morning and, because I'll be at the insurance limit, an "induction" that afternoon.  Honestly I'm hoping that I get to the midwife visit, have a check and a good Bishop score and can get everyone squared away and set... and that AROM will = VBAC number three before the older kiddos need help getting to bed.  That's my plan, and I'm sticking with it!  LOL

 

But really, having made it through yesterday I'm feeling pretty good.  If she comes now, she comes now and that's fine!  After all, I'm past the 40 week maek and even though my others were all 41-42 week babes I'm sure she'd be fine... and heck, maybe she'd even be under 9lbs and just sneeze her way out!

 

We're getting an estimated 2-6 inches of rain today on top of the 2-4 inches we got yesterday and everything is flooded.  Thank goodness we live on top of a hill, but even here the ground is soaked and the gullies are full.  It's cold too... ok, not middle of winter cold, but in the 50s and that wet damp cold that always feels worse than it is.  We're going in to the store this morning, then the kiddos have their "first day of after school" this afternoon, and it's my mom's birthday so the kiddos need to make a card and we need to drop it off, and all that regular life stuff (like, oh, the dishes sitting out on the counter daring me to load them into the dishwasher) so I should be staying busy.  But between the weather and the pregnancy I'm just not finding the motivation.

 

Hope everyone has a wonderful day!

post #34 of 211

redveg: sounds like they had a good time.  I hope we can get our basement finished off before Z gets too big so we can send her and her buddies down there.  

 

Clay: you seriously never cease to amaze me "i'll just squeeze in some child birth before the kid's bedtime" wahwah.  

 

Pagan Pride sounds fun.  Drove by our local Pagan-y store today and so wanted to pull in and browse...but between the torrential downpour we're having and not wanting to schlep the girl into a store where everything would be so fun to touch/grab/feel I decided to pass.  Maybe Friday.  I'd like to get a home altar going here soon.  I feel like it will help me get through the winter, some how.  Although, this year, Z is hearty enough to get outside so that should help. :) 

post #35 of 211
Quote:
Originally Posted by revolting View PostMy four year old learned to ride a two wheel bicycle this weekend. I just ran a few steps to help her start and off she went. Pretty awesome.


 

Yay! I bet that was cool. I didn't learn to ride w/o training wheels till I was 8, and I think ds was also 8. Kids are learning so much younger these days!



Quote:
Originally Posted by redveg View PostI am hoping you sell your house asap! I remember when I was just where you are now, wanting to get to the New England area so bad.  It felt like it took forever.  Sending selling your house vibes!  I hope the weather isn't bad for you while you travel.

 

Me, too.

 

The weather was amazingly obliging, what a relief. At M's it was a torrential downpour all the way to the train station, and all the way into Boston. I thought Charlotte was going to be the same, but it was billowy-cloudy and sunshiny. So weird, though-- it was 87 when we landed (the pilot said it was 77!) and by the time I got to Asheville, it was barely 70. It hasn't gotten above 70 since, and it's been cloudy-gray and a bit chilly, and we had the windows open last night and it was cold where our heads stuck out of the covers! YAY!!!



Quote:
Originally Posted by revolting View PostSo, who has a Pagan Pride coming up in their area? Anyone going? I'm kind of on the fence about it. I'd love to get more active in the larger community, and they do have kids' stuff. However, my partner is not Pagan and probably would prefer not to attend. I hate to separate the family on the weekend. Not sure what I'm going to do yet.


I don't know if we do or not. I think we don't. Funny since there are so many Pagans in Asheville! I will have to look.



Quote:
Originally Posted by LionessMom View Posthi ladies. subbing  :)


Hey, you! Welcome back; how have you been?

 



Quote:
Originally Posted by vydalea View PostClay: you seriously never cease to amaze me "i'll just squeeze in some child birth before the kid's bedtime" wahwah. 

 

Right?

 

Raise your hand if you want to be Clay superhero.gif bow.gif

 

I did have a good time at M's....though....Clay, I'm sure you remember-- that old issue reared its ugly head again. I do not know what to do at all mecry.gif I have been in a deep funk all day today, and most of the night last night, ever since he told me his doctor said it wasn't med related gloomy.gif I know it's not me, (gawd, I don't think so), but I have issues too, and I can't help feeling like it is me.

post #36 of 211
Quote:
Originally Posted by Maiasaura View Post



 

I did have a good time at M's....though....Clay, I'm sure you remember-- that old issue reared its ugly head again. I do not know what to do at all mecry.gif I have been in a deep funk all day today, and most of the night last night, ever since he told me his doctor said it wasn't med related gloomy.gif I know it's not me, (gawd, I don't think so), but I have issues too, and I can't help feeling like it is me.


Just throwing this out there.  Maybe it has to do with the changing of the season and the weather?  I know a few people who start to get changes in their mood/attitude starting around this time of the year.

 

post #37 of 211

Nothing but rain here for the next few days.  If it wasn't raining I would swear it was going to snow.  In my menu planning I am adding some dishes I would normally cook in the Autumn.  This is my favorite, favorite time of the year:)

 

 

post #38 of 211

Oh Maia, I'm sorry sweetie.  Hang in there.  No relationship, no matter how amazingly fairy tale in it's twists and turns, is perfect... you guys have overcome so much to get where you are and have what you have, it's going to work out somehow!

 

And seriously... I may give good virtual life but seriously!  You do NOT want to be me.  LOL  Though I do count my blessings a lot.  No matter what, I know I've been blessed and despite everything, I have so much to be thankful for.

 

Since my mom is watching the older kiddos I really do have a sort of "must do baby fast" dialog going in my head.  My mom has had her own challenges in life, and I understand that and am in awe of how she has overcome some seriously bad shite, but even though I understand "why" she is is where she is, I still don't want that around my kiddos for a single second longer than necessary.  My mom is very proud that she has broken the cycle of physical abuse by not hitting my brother and I (though she thinks spanking is totally ok, and actually threw us out of her home a few years ago when I refused to spank dd1 when dd1 was having a tantrum), but she has never accepted that emotional/verbal abuse can be as damaging to child, and that breaking things around a child (throwing coffee pots, slamming doors, etc) or locking them in a room alone is also not ok.  Since the kiddos have been challenging in the evening/overnight even for DH and I recently... we're honestly scared how my mom will react.  The first time Tor wakes with a night terror, or Ro wets the bed, or Laia throws a hissy because she didn't get to play in the shower as long as she thought she should... there's a strong chance that my mom will just lose it.  She watched dd1 while I had dd2 and even though she had been caring for dd1 3 days/week for nearly 2 years while I worked she STILL called DH twice, forcing him to leave me at the hospital because she "just couldn't handle" dd1 at bedtime.  So now with three kiddos, all with evening/overnight issues?

 

Plus she HATES that we are not Catholic, and every chance she gets she starts harping to the kiddos about religion.  Just the other day she told them that "anyone who thinks there is more than one god is stupid... you're not stupid are you?", and making a big deal out of telling them to pray to the baby jesus because baby jesus is the only real god and he loves little children... not like those made up gods who only pretend to like children and are actually bad monsters.  And this was in front of DH and I!  What the heck will she say when we're not there at all?

post #39 of 211

Maia--I'm with Clay, no relationship can ever be pitch perfect all of the time. DH and I are still madly in love after all of our time together (13 years), but we've been super snippy with each other lately because of all of the stress we have. You and M will be fine, I'm sure, though of course you're stressed! *hugs*

 

Clay, good luck on birthing that babe fast. i totally get why you wouldn't want your mom around your kids longer than you need to. Oy.

 

There are three Pagan Prides within driving distance (about an hour or so).  I missed the one in RI, there is one this Sunday for SE MA, but I'm not sure we can swing it (depends on when the ILs leave), and the Eastern MA one is on the same day as a birthday party for an old friend, who lives in the wrong direction. Blah.

 

Nothing to add other than classes have started for me, and I'm realizing just how by the seat of my pants my class at my new school is going to be. What did I get myself into?

 

 

post #40 of 211
Quote:
Originally Posted by redveg View PostJust throwing this out there.  Maybe it has to do with the changing of the season and the weather?  I know a few people who start to get changes in their mood/attitude starting around this time of the year.

 



Quote:
Originally Posted by wombatclay View PostOh Maia, I'm sorry sweetie.  Hang in there.  No relationship, no matter how amazingly fairy tale in it's twists and turns, is perfect... you guys have overcome so much to get where you are and have what you have, it's going to work out somehow!


 

Well...I did talk to him a little bit, today. It wasn't the weather. Turns out that he has been REALLY stressed about his job, and he's been effing up at this job the whole time he's had it (just over a year). He was possibly about to be let go. I did not know any of this.

He used to work at this same place, years ago, and the boss is a young upstart who knows nothing about the running of ANY company, let alone this particular kind. He's got a silver spoon in his mouth, makes over $1500 a week and has new, expensive toys ($60K and $30K vehicles), stopping in at the place maybe 3 hours a day.

Meanwhile, M makes a third of what he's worth, and so do the other guys in there. And the only one with any hope of keeping the business alive is this guy's dad, who is retiring next month. It's a good bet that Junior will drive the business into the ground.

That's not M's stress, this time, though that's a big looming worry-- what it is, is, it's the kind of job you have to be married to. He's finally understanding why most men his age, in this line of work, are divorced or single. You can't have more than one life with this kind of work. And he wants both; he wants me, and the job, and he's trying to figure out how to reconcile it. There's a LOT of "homework" no matter how much or how little one makes, just to keep it fresh. Which he loves, but hasn't been doing, because of spending so much time on the phone with me-- which, he's not grudging me, he WANTS to, but it's costing him.

 

So I was like-- I lit into him, really. He said I will never ever understand this kind of work. I said I don't have to. What I have to understand is job stress, and you being under so much pressure, and you not telling me is lying by omission, and don't EVEN tell me it's not my business (which he tried) because if it infects our relationship, that makes it my business. OUR business.

 

So I said-- I won't lie, it won't be easy for me, but if you need me to let you go on the phone so you can do <your homework>, then I will do that. As long as I can check in now and then just to say hi. Not have long epic conversations, just say hi. He said of course. So he hung up to go <do homework>. And he'll get back with me later. I hope this helps. I really, really do.

 

 

 

Quote:
Originally Posted by wombatclay View PostAnd seriously... I may give good virtual life but seriously!  You do NOT want to be me.  LOL  Though I do count my blessings a lot.  No matter what, I know I've been blessed and despite everything, I have so much to be thankful for.

 

Since my mom is watching the older kiddos I really do have a sort of "must do baby fast" dialog going in my head.  My mom has had her own challenges in life, and I understand that and am in awe of how she has overcome some seriously bad shite, but even though I understand "why" she is is where she is, I still don't want that around my kiddos for a single second longer than necessary.  My mom is very proud that she has broken the cycle of physical abuse by not hitting my brother and I (though she thinks spanking is totally ok, and actually threw us out of her home a few years ago when I refused to spank dd1 when dd1 was having a tantrum), but she has never accepted that emotional/verbal abuse can be as damaging to child, and that breaking things around a child (throwing coffee pots, slamming doors, etc) or locking them in a room alone is also not ok.  Since the kiddos have been challenging in the evening/overnight even for DH and I recently... we're honestly scared how my mom will react.  The first time Tor wakes with a night terror, or Ro wets the bed, or Laia throws a hissy because she didn't get to play in the shower as long as she thought she should... there's a strong chance that my mom will just lose it.  She watched dd1 while I had dd2 and even though she had been caring for dd1 3 days/week for nearly 2 years while I worked she STILL called DH twice, forcing him to leave me at the hospital because she "just couldn't handle" dd1 at bedtime.  So now with three kiddos, all with evening/overnight issues?

 

Plus she HATES that we are not Catholic, and every chance she gets she starts harping to the kiddos about religion.  Just the other day she told them that "anyone who thinks there is more than one god is stupid... you're not stupid are you?", and making a big deal out of telling them to pray to the baby jesus because baby jesus is the only real god and he loves little children... not like those made up gods who only pretend to like children and are actually bad monsters.  And this was in front of DH and I!  What the heck will she say when we're not there at all?



I just want to be able to handle things with the grace and aplomb that you do. You have the best attitude, and you keep on ticking, even when you take a licking orngtongue.gif I do that, too, but there are times when I just.break.down. I don't handle things very well.

 

Your mom-- yowsa, that IS scary, but if she will not reallytruly HURT the kids, as in, if they are not in danger, I guess the best that can come of this is your kids will learn powerful lessons about grandma, for good or  ill. My ds had to learn the hard way, too. Not that that's a good thing. It sucks. I hope things work out for you the way you need them to. You know I would so be there and stay with the kiddos if I lived nearby! grouphug.gif

 

 

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