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September Pagan Circle - Page 3

post #41 of 211
Quote:
Originally Posted by Maiasaura View Post


Hey, you! Welcome back; how have you been?



 

i am doing ok. i am still trying to process the diagnosis and eat the right diet. etc. I am not posting much but I do read the posts everyday :)

 

 

 

 

 

i have decided i want to get new tattoos. i want life on the inside of my left forearm and death inside my right forearm. to remind me: that everything is a matter of life and death, that not everything is a matter of life and death, that i should live life bc death will come, and thhat i shouldnt waste any more time being mean and miserable to my family bc you cant get time back. just little black words in a pretty font. i get so wrapped up in my pain, it makes me very selfish. chronic pain will do that. and then i snap at my kids and talk to them like my dad (a marine) did to me, like i was a t boot camp. i dont want that. when i am not in pain i am great and say all the right things. i want to remember to be that person when i hurt too. i think it might help. :)

post #42 of 211

Really trying to keep up, and not doing so great at it! lol. I want to extend genuine virtual hugs and lots of good happy mojo to those that need it. I'm not sure about y'all, but I find that when the Wheel turns (particularly to Fall or Spring) my stuff can get a little bit wonky. It's all part of the ride I suppose.

 

Speaking of that ride, and keeping people in good thoughts: Could you all do that for me and my Dh? It's a very long story I can't imagine fully going into here for a number of reasons, but..... Dh has long suffered from some serious mental/emotional issues that often manifest (sometimes very suddenly) as uncontrollable rage. Afterward he has a fractured memory of what has occurred or at least the timeline is totally whacked. This stems from many many sources, some of which we don't even know I'm sure, and we are very weary. The last episode was terrifying, sad, frustrating and all of it made worse by the fact that we live on his parents property. Like, on their backyard. Yeah. disappointed.gif We are at a crossroads, and I told him that counseling is a MUST. We are without inx, but I will do whatever or go wherever we need to to get him and us safe and well. He agreed, and already has had one appointment. Lots of stuff up ahead for us no doubt. I pray that not one more single 'well intentioned person tells me that I should "leave his ass" because they would. Not helping. I may be working some spellcraft into the equinox sabbat.

 

In other news: My tomato plants are HUGE! It's a zillion degrees here, finally, now that summer is closing down. I have land lust, and cannot stop myself from "window" land shopping. drool.gif

post #43 of 211
Thread Starter 

Unschool - Hoping for the best for your family. Keep safe. For realz.

 

Wombat - I wish there was some way I can help. Praying for ya!

 

So....my stolen car was recovered!  It's still at the shop. No obvious damage beyond the ignition. Also, there was a plate on my radio that you can remove to bring inside with you to discourage it from getting stolen. Well, the guy with a stolen car dutifully brought that plate in, so now I can't use my radio. Car seats gone, too. It's at the shop now. Hoping otherwise the car is fine. I'm so excited. I can't wait to go down to the shop today. jumpers.gif It was found right outside of the home of a known car thief who is also known to particularly likes my kind of car. Guy with gang ties. No charges, though, which feels right. I wanted my car back, not to get anyone in trouble. Though I do have fantasies about knocking on his door and asking for the plate to my radio back, LOL.

post #44 of 211

Roo is sick (upper respiratory infection.)  It started out as a simple cold.  Because of his immune deficiency, his body can't handle the most 'simple' of illnesses.  Minor 'bugs' always end up major with my son.  gloomy.gif

 

Quote:

Originally Posted by UnschoolnMa View Post
 

Dh has long suffered from some serious mental/emotional issues that often manifest (sometimes very suddenly) as uncontrollable rage. 


Has he hit you or your kids?

 



Quote:
Originally Posted by revolting View Post

 

So....my stolen car was recovered! 

 

Glad you got it back!  Hope there's nothing major wrong with it.

post #45 of 211
Quote:
Originally Posted by UnschoolnMa View PostDh has long suffered from some serious mental/emotional issues that often manifest (sometimes very suddenly) as uncontrollable rage. Afterward he has a fractured memory of what has occurred or at least the timeline is totally whacked. This stems from many many sources, some of which we don't even know I'm sure, and we are very weary.

 

M says take a look at bipolar. He has the same sort of issue, though not with uncontrollable rage, just VERY, very severe anger and hair-trigger temper. When he's not on meds, that is. When he's on meds, he's right as rain and totally normal and very even-tempered, and you'd never know he's on medication. When he's not on meds, believe me, you know it. His grown dd said of this "You're ALWAYS like that" (when he's not on meds). I hope you figure it out. Though I'm no doctor, it sounds like a simple case of mixed-up or missing brain chemicals.



Quote:
Originally Posted by revolting View PostSo....my stolen car was recovered!  It's still at the shop. No obvious damage beyond the ignition. Also, there was a plate on my radio that you can remove to bring inside with you to discourage it from getting stolen. Well, the guy with a stolen car dutifully brought that plate in, so now I can't use my radio. Car seats gone, too. It's at the shop now. Hoping otherwise the car is fine. I'm so excited. I can't wait to go down to the shop today. jumpers.gif It was found right outside of the home of a known car thief who is also known to particularly likes my kind of car. Guy with gang ties. No charges, though, which feels right. I wanted my car back, not to get anyone in trouble. Though I do have fantasies about knocking on his door and asking for the plate to my radio back, LOL.


Yay! Though heck yeah, I'd press charges, especially if the guy is known for this! Because who knows how many other people you can help not have this happen to, if you did. But I'm glad you got your car back, too.


DOK: hope Roo feels better, soon. I have never had a compromised immune system, but I used to get chronic bronchitis-- every bug I got turned into bronchitis. Ugh.

 
M's work had the electricity go out, so he's home. There's major flooding in his town. I'm glad he's safe!
post #46 of 211

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Edited by redveg - 12/20/12 at 12:37pm
post #47 of 211

 

Quote:
Has he hit you or your kids?

He has not. Yet. Kids are nearly grown/grown and live elsewhere (but are present often, obviously) so that is unlikely, but if this issue is not corrected it's hard to say what will happen. He HAS been physically aggressive, but not hitting. He knows that he freaks out, and that it isn't good or healthy, but he never really clearly remembers what has taken place. It's terrifying for everyone. He has stated that as far back as he can remember he has been angry and "on alert" constantly looking at people and "assessing the threat level". Part of the problem is that he grew up in a pretty abusive (back in the late 70's and 80's) household. Mom was very angry, dad was an active alcoholic until 87' etc. His parents are very different people now, older... better... calmer. But the damage lives on in him and his sister, and his parents are viewing the past through very rose colored glasses. "It wasn't THAT bad." and "He tells stories that are exaggerated. We argued but everyone does." and so on.  When you add in a sexual assault at age 12, and 5 yrs incarceration during young adulthood, with a disabling back injury, it gets all kinds of heavy! bigeyes.gif  His visit with the therapist was good. He was afraid, uncomfy and he did it anyway! They want to do group therapy because it's all we qualify for without inx, but I think that is a bad idea at this point. We are hoping the group therapist will refer him to solo, and that will be enough for now maybe.

 

Thank you all for the good thoughts~!

 

 

 

 

Quote:
Though I do have fantasies about knocking on his door and asking for the plate to my radio back, LOL.

I am so glad you got it backbiglaugh.gif!

post #48 of 211

hooray for recovered belongings (even sans the dang faceplate! how frustrating!), new tattoos and happy crops! 

 

Clay!  It's FRIDAY!!!  joy.gif Wishing a healthy, slippery birth-day for your babe!! 

 

Maia, I'm glad your visit was good, I truly hope that M can work on his communication with you and things don't feel so off for you.  I hate that feeling, that heavy feeling...ick. 

 

Sooo... our area has been completely devastated by flooding.  We're basically at day 2 - the rivers are receding.  My family's dairy farm is completely under water but luckily my dad and uncle were able to get the cows to another farm close by.  Many of my friends have lots their homes, businesses... but the good news is that everyone is SAFE and the sun is shining and today is here and we move forward. 

 

stillheart.gif

post #49 of 211

Oh my, I guess I never posted on the sept thread

 

I am a bit behind. *hugs* to those in need and happy vibes to all!

post #50 of 211

hey all... still pregnant and looking for "baby this weekend" thoughts!  :)

 

Saw the midwives and my bishops score was even lower than it was last week so they couldn't even offer a "vbac safe induction".  All they could offer was a r/cs this afternoon.  :(  I put on my game face, used the glowing NST and U/S results to get everything pushed back to Monday.  Monday morning I'll have another NST and U/S, meet with the surgeon, and, if nothing is happening by then, schedule the c/s (hopefully for wed so the babe will have a full 42 weeks).

 

But I'm feeling really beat up by all this... especially since when we got home after what turned out to be an extremely long and depressing visit... I had two voice messages from the child care programs we just enrolled in, asking why the kiddos hadn't been there.  Ok, I'm thrilled that they noticed and all that, but come on!  We paid, we're enrolled, it's an afterschool drop off program, and I am just not in the mood to deal with this.

 

So I've decided that I'm going to find a way to just pamper myself this weekend and ignore Monday.  Once DH is home from work tonight I am basically handing him the kids and putting in ear plugs.  I'm fed up, exhausted, worn down, and just not dealing well with ANYTHING right now.  I've had a hellishly busy week, I'm worried about the health and longevity of my dad and my MIL, I don't have child care for the older kiddos if the babe really does arrive on Mon or Tues, and I'm DONE!  My goal now is to eat, sleep, and not give a flying hoot at the screams, smacks, and shattering glass noises coming from whatever space the kids inhabit.  And to make DH deal with the school programs and all that.  He should be home by 7pm and that's it.  The weekend shall be miiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiine!

 

So, happy birthy vibes for the weekend (tomorrow is the ever so geeky 9/10/11, and sunday is Dh's birthday so both days would rock) or at least total relaxation and ultimate denial of Monday's challenges please!  :)

post #51 of 211
Quote:
Originally Posted by wombatclay View PostMy goal now is to eat, sleep, and not give a flying hoot at the screams, smacks, and shattering glass noises coming from whatever space the kids inhabit.  And to make DH deal with the school programs and all that.  He should be home by 7pm and that's it.  The weekend shall be miiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiine!


Good! 'Bout time, mama! I wish you a nice, relaxing weekend, and a baby to gain before it's over! Full moon baby, c'mon! dust.gif

post #52 of 211

I am so so very far behind....hi again to all.

 

Clay - sending lots of birth the baby vibes

 

Kali - sending healing thoughts for roo

 

Unschoolnma - sending peaceful work it out vibes, sounds like your dh hit a big milestone in accepting help

 

and I know there are a ton of things I missed, so general hugs and happy vibes to all.

 

In this last week the weather here has really changed, autumn is surely on its way.  I love this time of year but always get in a funk and down too.  

 

This is my dd's first official year homeschooling (she would be in Kindergarten) and today was our first day of co-op classes...the kids had a blast.  So happy with the group I found:)

 

Next week we begin 3 weeks of casting, then a surgery followed by 6 more weeks of casting.  DD was born with a club foot.  As she is now almost 6 they want to do one more round of casting and tendon release to help set it correctly.  This should be interesting...going to be a LONG autumn.......

post #53 of 211

Oh wow I can't believe the thread is already 3 pages long! Just stopped by to sub, say HI and I have not dropped off the planet - after MIL's funeral we had a week of down time, then went out of town for a week, and this week I went back to school. I'm trying to get all caught up on the happenings here but HUGS to everyone who needs them!

post #54 of 211

treehugger.gif

 

 

Clay, sending lots of birthing vibes your way!

 

Greenmagick, I'm sending you creative vibes to come up with fun things to do with your girl this fall - my girl is 6yo and I can't imagine how it would be to have her in a cast for so long...

 

 

Schedule is still crazy and I don't have much time to come here but I try to read regularly even if I don't have time to answer.

 

DS is getting a clearer picture of the kind of work he'd like to do so we're adjusting our homeschooling to make that possible. 

 

 

We spend the night in the tent last night... the Moon was so bright! I couldn't sleep! Really tired mama this morning... But we're heading to the village anyway to watch the Rallye... What I wouldn't do for my kids, lol!

 

More coffee needed.

 

Have a nice week-end!

post #55 of 211

Happy birthing vbes to you Clay, with some must needed relaxation beforehand!

 

We made a crystal grid at Full Moon last night. the energy was simply amazing! I think we were all a little high afterwards. I needed that.

post #56 of 211
Quote:

Originally Posted by greenmagick View Postgeneral hugs and happy vibes to all.

 

 

Next week we begin 3 weeks of casting, then a surgery followed by 6 more weeks of casting.  DD was born with a club foot.  As she is now almost 6 they want to do one more round of casting and tendon release to help set it correctly.  This should be interesting...going to be a LONG autumn.......


Hugs back atcha!

 

What is casting? You mean, like keep her foot in a cast? It's pretty cool that there's now something to be done for club feet; I haven't heard much about them anymore but I seem to remember people back when just lived with them. What is the cause of it? I'm pretty ignorant on those. Does it hurt her?

 



Quote:
Originally Posted by witchygrrl View PostWe made a crystal grid at Full Moon last night. the energy was simply amazing! I think we were all a little high afterwards. I needed that.


What's a crystal grid? Hey, sorry I couldn't catch up with you this time when I came up there. I can't wait to BE there, you know, permanently...I have more friends up that way than I know, and I want to get together with them, but I'm so jealous of my limited time with M until I'm a permanent resident.

 

DS's first Fall Ball (baseball-- they have a fall league here) game was today. They creamed the other team 12-2 thumb.gif  But the other team had really cool purple shirts lol.gif

We were going to go to Organicfest downtown, but not sure I'm up to it.

 

post #57 of 211
Quote:
Originally Posted by Maiasaura View Post




Hugs back atcha!

 

What is casting? You mean, like keep her foot in a cast? It's pretty cool that there's now something to be done for club feet; I haven't heard much about them anymore but I seem to remember people back when just lived with them. What is the cause of it? I'm pretty ignorant on those. Does it hurt her?

 



 

Yes, her leg and foot will be in a cast...4 weeks of it will be a full leg cast.  Dont really know the cause of club foot, some genetic, some environmental.  No one else on either side has it so it seems to be kind of random with my daughter..and its only one foot, often its both,  

 

It doesnt hurt her.  The used to do a lot of surgeries to correct them and that could cause issues down the line, arthritis and the like.  She had to have casts for a while when she was a newborn and then wore a brace, well was supposed to wear a brace.  Being a very, erm, spirited child and baby we were not able to brace the amount of time they wanted.
 

 

post #58 of 211
Thread Starter 

In case you are still gestating, Wombat: Come out, baby, COME OUT!

Vy - I'm glad everyone is all right at least!

Kali - Hope Roo is feeling better by now!

 

Harvest Moon! Harvest Moon! Harvest Moon! My eldest has only been asking when the full moon is going to be for the last week. Even though I'm generally Captain No Fun about bedtimes, I let the kids stay up on the full moon to go watch fire spinning, a drum circle, and the moon rise over the lake.

 

We went apple picking this week. I have hundreds of apples. Hit me up with your favorite easy-to-make apple recipes!

 

Other things on my mind:

 

For those of you into ancestor worship: Do any of you have a closed adoption in your family tree? My mother was adopted in a closed adoption. Both my mother and my grandmother are still alive, so I don't feel comfortable snooping too much. I've mostly dealt with the issue by focusing on my father's side of the family, but that doesn't quite feel right. I was wondering how others deal with this?

 

Tarot: Does anyone have a tarot deck that's fairy tale themed that's kid-friendly (I've heard a few are not) OR have recommendations for another good deck that's good to work with young children? I was thinking a fairy tale based one, since she'd be familiar with many of the stories. However, while I don't want Disney-ified fairy tales, I have been saving some of the more dark tales for when she's older, and I'd prefer a deck that while true to the original stories, were not dark.

post #59 of 211


Where is everybody??

 

Quote:
Originally Posted by greenmagick View PostYes, her leg and foot will be in a cast...4 weeks of it will be a full leg cast.  Dont really know the cause of club foot, some genetic, some environmental.  No one else on either side has it so it seems to be kind of random with my daughter..and its only one foot, often its both,  

 

It doesnt hurt her.  The used to do a lot of surgeries to correct them and that could cause issues down the line, arthritis and the like.  She had to have casts for a while when she was a newborn and then wore a brace, well was supposed to wear a brace.  Being a very, erm, spirited child and baby we were not able to brace the amount of time they wanted.

 

I so hear you on the spirited child front. Sigh.

 

Well...I'm glad it doesn't hurt. I hope this new thing will help some!

 

Quote:

Originally Posted by revolting View PostIn case you are still gestating, Wombat: Come out, baby, COME OUT!

 

We went apple picking this week. I have hundreds of apples. Hit me up with your favorite easy-to-make apple recipes!

 

For those of you into ancestor worship: Do any of you have a closed adoption in your family tree? My mother was adopted in a closed adoption. Both my mother and my grandmother are still alive, so I don't feel comfortable snooping too much. I've mostly dealt with the issue by focusing on my father's side of the family, but that doesn't quite feel right. I was wondering how others deal with this?


Yes, Clay's baby: COME OUT!!!

 

I am too much of a sucker for plain apples, when it's apple season. My ds doesn't like cooked fruit, so we have never done applesauce. I make a wicked pie filling but I usually kind of wing it. I don't use sugar. I use maybe one pear in with the cooked apples, and raisins, and maybe some honey or other not-sugar sweetener, if any, or a bit of fruit juice. I have a deep freeze so I freeze bags of it in case I need to make a pie for a potluck or a gift.

 

I would go ahead and ask. I have a closed adoption in my family history, too, but everybody's dead now so I can't ask. But I would. I'd say "Do you mind if I ask about ______?" and tell them they're free to close the topic right now if it's uncomfortable. But you could say you're interested in genealogy or some such. I consider family ties to be family ties, whether adopted or not, because it's the relationship that makes family. My mother's father was adopted but I will never know anything about him, because it was in Hungary back around...oh...the turn of the 20th century maybe? And nobody kept adoption records. All I can probably be sure of is the birth parents were very likely Hungarian and Jewish.

 
post #60 of 211

treehugger.gif

 

 

I don't know what is going on with me... Sickness on-and-off for a while... nausea, heartburns, headache, dizzyness... DH got the same and is plague with high fever leaving him soaking wet from sweat every time it strikes... The kids have not been touched.

 

The Moon was beautiful... Had a little chat in the middle of the night... No ritual this time, I even forgot to put my stones to recharge on the windowsill.

 

 

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