So, I got to the hospital and found out that due to a clerical error my "induction" has been moved to Wed. They did do a NST and cervical check since I'll be 42 weeks tomorrow based on their paperwork and.... while I was a loose 4cm on Thursday, and lost my plug on Friday, and had over 24 hours of serious "wake me up/can't walk through them" contractions by the time I showed up at the hospital this morning... I have actually gone backward to "barely 2cm" and am so posterior they could hardly reach my cervix. So they couldn't even keep me on the L&D ward as a walk in (rather than a scheduled induction).
This is the third or fourth time that I have come in for a scheduled "we're inducing or sectioning you today/tomorrow" appointment only to be sent home with a "we'll do it in a few days". While I really do want to give baby girl every chance of coming out on her own, the emotional wear and tear of psyching myself up and then being pushed off is killing me. I mean, technically I was 40 weeks on the 4th. The midwives and I re-worked the dates a bit to say I was 40 weeks on the 7th. And we've been playing games with the numbers and dates to keep the insurance and hospital lawyers happy. But as I was told today, if I go into labor on my own (today, tomorrow, tuesday) I /will/ be attended by the OB (who is vbac supportive, but still). Apparently the induction on Wed is now scheduled with a midwife, but that could change too. And who the heck knows? Maybe I'll show up Wed and be told I haveto come back again. If they try that, I think I'll just sit in the hall and yell or something.
Sigh. I suppose the 21st is a nice birthday and all, but since we were expecting something more along the lines of the 4th? Not to mention that after the surprise of the pregnancy and being forced to drop out of grad school/hack our budget to the bone, and the ovarian cancer scare, and the fatal birth defect scare, and my dad's failing health, and my MIL's cancer/surgery, and the fact that DH is going to be out of town for the first week of October... I want her here, and safe. I am sooooo done with this pregnancy. Obviously, baby girl isn't, but argh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!