I think my 2 year old is normal... (tantrums)

[Phoenix~Mama]

I am so upset right now.  My nanny just called me saying she has no control over my DD.  That my DD has hit and kicked her today and she is just ready to go home.

Now, to me, tantrums and acting out is normal 2 year old behavior.  And I said this to the nanny and told her to either re-direct DD or put her in time out depending on how "out of control" she is behaving.

She basically told me that my DD is the worse 2 year old she has been around.  I have been around a lot of 2 year olds and DD seems pretty normal to me.

My nanny had actually put in her notice a couple weeks ago and last week was supposed to be her last, but after all this, I told her tomorrow can be her last day.

But I'm still upset.  I don't think DD is abnormal or a problem child.  She is strong willed, for sure.  She is a lot like me and does not back down.  lol  She is very independent.  I don't want to break that out of her... but I know she does need boundaries on appropriate ways to act, and I try to give her that.

If she is biting, I tell her she can't bite people, she can bite a pillow or a teether.  Same thing with hitting, I tell her if she is upset and feels like she needs to hit... to hit a pillow.

Is my DD really so bad?

[Rani]

No she isnt most likely. Your nanny is not a good fit and has "short timer" syndrome so im sure right now your DD can't pee good enough for her.  I would go home early and tell her thats its and go. 

[Momo123]

I'm so sorry that you're upset! But I totally agree that it's normal for 2-year olds to bite and kick as well as have tantrums. My DS is 2 and he had a period of about a month where he would just hit us all the time whenever he did not get his way/was upset etc. and we would redirect/show him how to touch us gently. He did not do this at daycare, only at home or with family members :) If he was having a tantrum and out of control hitting/kicking, then we would take him into a quiet room and stay with him until he calmed down. He still does it but not as often...

Maybe your nanny was mentally "done" and less patient since she had already given you notice? I don't think you have anything to feel bad about.

[Phoenix~Mama]

I'm definitely feeling like a failure right now... even though, logically inside I know it's normal 2 year old behavior...

But I just called to check in and the nanny was going on and on, she said, "I just feel like my whole day is refereeing your kids.  I can't even do anything structured because if your DD doesn't want to do it she gets mad and hits or kicks me or her brother.  I don't appreciate coming here everyday to be hit.  She needs to know she can't do this."

I told her again that DD does get told and does have consequences when she hits and bites.  I don't know what else to do?!  :-(

[allisonrose]

It sounds like your nanny doesn't have the maturity or experience to deal with your dd. My son is going on 3 and can be a challenging guy so I sympathize. He hits and kicks occasionally although luckily has never picked up biting. My hubby loses his patience with our son kind of quickly and it is painful to me when it feels like a judgment of my child and my parenting.

And your nanny going on to the parent about how the child misbehaves? That is part of the job as a nanny: dealing with whatever issues come up with the parent(s) work.

[sosurreal09]

She sounds real professional...good thing she's leaving!