I have been a sahm since DS1 was born 2 years ago. I never really followed this forum but I am happy to have found it! Recently however we added DS2 and I lost my pt wah job so I find I am falling out of touch with the last vestige of my former life and career.
I was finishing grad school while pregs with DS1 and am SO out of the loop in my field now. Like SOOOOO out of the loop. And that is particularly bad for my future but there it is. No time and not much interest with all that I have going on.
Most of my old friends don' t have kids so I rarely see them anymore. Our new "kid" friends are great but we always do kid-centered activities and are limited by this. In fact I generally am way happier to stay at home most evenings because it is easier and I am always tired. Woo-hoo.
I have been super sleep-deprived for over two years (DS1 still wakes frequently and DS2 is an infant). It has caused me to lose brain cells and add fat cells. Not fair.
It has been a long long time since I have dressed up for anything. I am super frumpy all of a sudden and I hate it. My hair sucks. My body is not mine, but communal family property so I don't feel like myself. My interim post-partum wardrobe looks like a "mom" wardrobe and that scares me. Not sexy.
I never have time for my hobbies and am so out of practice with my instruments- my crafts are in boxes. Our new home is basically piles of stuff everywhere as I have no time to sort and neatly put things away. The precious few minutes I have each day to myself are spent either resting, cleaning, cooking or working out. My home is not me yet.
I yearn for travel, excitement and I have been so wrapped up in the nostalgia of our former life before kids. It makes me feel guilty because they are the best thing we have ever done. But still the desire to have some freedom burns inside me. I feel like I just wrote off the rest of my life to be a parent. I know this is stupid and not true and I don't resent the kids or anything but man what I wouldn't do for a good old road trip! Or Europe! Or backpacking! Or just a raging party of blind excesses!
Sigh. Time to go sew diapers ;)