Back at work, DS won't take a bottle or cup or nap

[nstewart]

I've cross-psoted this in working/student parents.  Mod, please move if this post shouldn't be here, but I thought some BFing moms would have a good perspective on what I can do or try!

I returned to work 2 weeks ago and am lucky enough to have a nanny staying at home with DS (who is 13mos old).  She seems really great with him.  Very patient, engaging and caring. 

Before returning to work, DS always nursed before going down for his naps.  He didn't fall asleep nursing, but did nurse immedietly before I put him in his crib and patted his back for a couple of minutes before he fell asleep.  He will not take a bottle or sippy cup with milk at all during the day (I've tried EBM and also cows milk and a variety of different cups/bottles/nipples with no luck).  He also barely naps all day.  Immedietly before I went back to work he was napping about 3 hours a day (2 hours in the am, one hour in the afternoon).  Now, it's lucky if he passes out from exhaustion from 11am to 12pm.  By the time I get home from work he is over-tired and grumpy and has to go almost immedietly to bed, so it's like I don't get to see him at all except to put him to bed and nurse him at night.

I am relatively confident that our nanny is doing what she can to help him nap (she tries singing, rocking in the rocker, walking with him around the house, vacuuming with him in the Ergo) but the only time he seems to pass out is in the stroller on a walk. If she takes him to his room to rock him to sleep he often resists, screaming and squirming.  Or, he gets there and starts making the sign for "milk" (meaning that he wants to nurse) and then cries because, of course, our nanny can't nurse him!  The nap in the stroller is fine, except that fall is upon us here in Calgary and it is going to get cold pretty soon, so this can't last forever.  Also, an hour is just not enough sleep for his little brain to grow and develop and process!  This worries me!

Am I missing something that can help him nap during the day (short of me driving home and nursing him!)?  Anyone else have a similar experience?  How long has the adjustment period been for you all?

Oh, and I do let him nurse as much as he wants to when I'm home.  He bedshares with us part of the night also so I'm trying to make sure he gets in the cuddles he needs.  I hate that I am now feeling guilty for having not gotten him on a bottle sooner (he started refusing at 3 mos and I never pushed it because he was EBF anyway).  I feel badly because if he took a bottle at least he'd have that comfort, but all he wants is his nursie!

I recognize that all that may help is time, but if you have any advice it's appreciated!

[Rani]

its definitely an adjustment process. Its frustrating for everyone but it should get better. She will have to keep doing what she is doing I think until he adjusts.  You might want to introduce the same cup in the evenings with you that he would use during the day with the nanny. We did that to prep for day care and it did seem to help. Just one feeding...offer him the cup..not hte first home of course..but later in the night....or on weekends so that its a recognizable thing and you do it too...

[EchoSoul]

I know you said the nanny puts him in a stroller on walks and walks with him around the house, but has she tried some hardcore playtime to really poop him out? Hide n' seek, games outside, ANYTHING that gets him running around and using a lot of energy? Is your DS particularly interested in any sports she could play with him? Dodgeball, baseball, soccer, anything? Maybe he just needs extra stimulation while you're gone?

[foreverinbluejeans]

Your baby is over a year. It would rot his teeth to fall asleep with a bottle. You don't need to feel guilty about not giving him bottles! He may have never taken one anyway. If you can drive home and breastfeed him that may be the best thing for everyone right now. It won't be forever.  

I've taken care of my bf grandson since my dil went back to work when he was 10 months old. He will be 3 next week and nursed until he was 2.5. He is very strong willed and never took a bottle or had regular times I could get him to take naps. At around 6 months I figured out he liked music and liked watching music videos. He didn't like kids videos but was into classic rock and soft rock. James Blunt Goodbye My Lover would bore him to sleep (sorry James) once I would see he was starting to nod off. It wasn't ideal but sometimes you have to do what works. Now he is very music and technology oriented (in a good way).

Different things have worked at different periods in his life. If she has a car to take him places and  that may be a big help. They could go to toddler activities, go out to eat, go to malls, ect. He could fall asleep in the car on the way home.

[nstewart]

So just to update, DS had a great day on Friday and again today.  Today he slept 2.5 hours this morning, and an hour this afternoon!  I'm hoping we've rounded the corner!