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My baby is gone. - Page 3

post #41 of 128

 

Quote:
Originally Posted by livacreature View Post

You're on my mind today.  candle.gif



yeahthat.gif

 

I hope everything is going as well as can be expected in terms of birthing your baby, grieving and healing. Many, many thoughts coming your way.

post #42 of 128

I'm so sorry. :(  :hug  Sending you strength and healing.

post #43 of 128

Oh my, no one should have to go through this. I wish I could make this all go away for you.

 

We lost our daughter seven years ago; it's a long, hard journey. At the beginning, just take one hour at a time. Accept offers of help; give people something specific to do. Life is going to feel absolutely surreal and horrific for a while. I promise, it will get better.

 

More immediately, is there someone you know that could take pictures after your babe is born? Those memories will be precious for you, even if you don't want to share the photos with anyone else.

 

You will be in my thoughts and prayers. You will get through this.

 

Love and light,

Carolyn

post #44 of 128

I'm so sorry for your loss. Wishing you peace and healing in the difficult days and months to come. 

post #45 of 128

candle.gif I am so very sorry. I wish you all the love and support you need. 

post #46 of 128

I'm so sorry!

post #47 of 128

I'm so sorry.  Memory eternal for your sweet baby.  

post #48 of 128

Oh my goodness, I am so very sorry for your loss.

 

I am not sure what else to say but I couldn't read this and not post.

 

Sending love and positive thoughts to you.

post #49 of 128

grouphug.gif i am soooo, sooo sorry to hear this. :( thinking of you and your family.

post #50 of 128

I've no words

I'm so sorry brokenheart.gif

post #51 of 128

I'm thinking of you and your sweet baby today and I'm sure I'm not the only one.

 

Wishing healing for your heart and your family...please let us know how you are when you're up to it, whenever that might be

 

stillheart.gif

post #52 of 128
Thread Starter 
Thank you all for the words of love and kindness. I have been taking them in each day and feeling comforted by all the support. Right now I'm trying to stay calm so that my body will be more likely to go into labor. That isn't so easy but I'm trying. It will be a relief when the baby comes so I can finally grieve in the way I so badly want to grieve. We have to avoid induction at all cost due to me being a VBAC but everything says that usually a woman goes into labor within 2 weeks when this happens.

I have done a little reading and discovered that the excessive hiccuping was a strong warning sign of cord compression. It isn't something you see in everyday books but when you look at stillbirth research it is very clear. Hiccups are normal to a certain extent but episodes of over 3-4 per day, increasing frequency, and having more than 10-15 per minute during a given episode is not normal. Also, hiccuping should decrease with gestational age. My baby had over 7-10 episodes a day and during the episodes he/she would hiccup at least 40-50 per minute (very rapid rate unlike normal hiccups). Also the episodes increased with time. That in combination with the frequency of my BH contractions is a warning that the cord needed to be checked. I'm telling everyone this b/c this SHOULD be common knowledge and women should be told this info. I continually brought up the excessive frequency and intensity of my baby's hiccups with my care providers and anyone I spoke with. It was something that I always found weird but I chalked it up to every baby being different. I hope that one day this will become common knowledge for women and care providers b/c I find it to be much more helpful than kick counts. By the time kicking stops it is too late but the hiccup thing is something you can monitor very easily if you start to notice them becoming very frequent you can easily go in for a NST or u/s to check the cord. Too little too late for my baby, but I hope it helps others prevent this type of devastation.

My husband and I did a belly cast yesterday and we are now trying to figure out all the little things we can do in the hours after our baby comes earthside to preserve what we can. I so wish we could have seen the gender from the u/s but the baby had his/her legs closed. greensad.gif I would love to be able to give this baby a name. We have chosen Alessandra Juliet for a girl and Jude Mateo for a boy. I will keep you all posted and I'll post the birth story in pregnancy loss when the time comes and link it here. I don't want to post too much here b/c I know that you mommas need positive, happy thoughts during this special time.

Lots of Love!
post #53 of 128
Quote:
Originally Posted by tutucrazy View Post
I have done a little reading and discovered that the excessive hiccuping was a strong warning sign of cord compression. It isn't something you see in everyday books but when you look at stillbirth research it is very clear. Hiccups are normal to a certain extent but episodes of over 3-4 per day, increasing frequency, and having more than 10-15 per minute during a given episode is not normal. Also, hiccuping should decrease with gestational age. My baby had over 7-10 episodes a day and during the episodes he/she would hiccup at least 40-50 per minute (very rapid rate unlike normal hiccups). Also the episodes increased with time. That in combination with the frequency of my BH contractions is a warning that the cord needed to be checked. I'm telling everyone this b/c this SHOULD be common knowledge and women should be told this info. I continually brought up the excessive frequency and intensity of my baby's hiccups with my care providers and anyone I spoke with. It was something that I always found weird but I chalked it up to every baby being different. I hope that one day this will become common knowledge for women and care providers b/c I find it to be much more helpful than kick counts. By the time kicking stops it is too late but the hiccup thing is something you can monitor very easily if you start to notice them becoming very frequent you can easily go in for a NST or u/s to check the cord. Too little too late for my baby, but I hope it helps others prevent this type of devastation.


Many hugs to you. I never knew this about the hiccups. Thank you for sharing, though I know it was probably hard for you to do. Please keep us updated on how you are doing.

post #54 of 128
This information is so valuable. Memory eternal for your little one. Thinking of you often.
post #55 of 128

Tutucrazy, thank you for sharing this. I really admire you and I think your idea of the belly cast was beautiful. I have thought about you a lot during these last couple days and you will be staying in my thoughts. I'll mention all your hiccup information to my midwife tomorrow, too.

post #56 of 128

**HUGS**

post #57 of 128

It's very good of you to share the information about hiccups Tutucrazy.  I've been thinking about you constantly and wishing you all the peace possible. 

post #58 of 128

candle.gif Thank you for sharing the names you've chosen for your baby. I will be thinking about you and your family, and I hope that your birth experience is empowering and healing even while it is sure to be full of grief as well. hug2.gif

post #59 of 128

So terribly sorry you are going through this right now.  Thinking of you and your family.  Thank you for sharing information that may be helpful to others even as you are deep in your own grief.

post #60 of 128

I don't know how you are feeling, but I wanted to tell you I think you are so very brave. Thank you for the information you posted, and simply for checking back in here.

 

Wishing you as much peace as possible now and throughout the upcoming birth.

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