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My baby is gone. - Page 4

post #61 of 128

Thank you so much for the information, Tutu.  I've never even heard of such a thing hinted at.  My babies have always had what seem like frequent hiccups, so this is certainly something I'm going to be thinking about.

 

I know I may not speak for everyone, but I just want to say that you shouldn't feel bad or guilty for posting your baby's story here.  IMO, a Due Date Club is all about love and support, no matter what the situation may be.  I feel like at this time, there's a grieving among all of us for your loss, even though we don't know you personally.  I hope you find strength, love, and comfort here, instead of feeling like you're intruding on any of our needs.  I certainly feel like your needs take precedent over mine, at this point.  I've been thinking of you so often.  It must be terrible to wait for labor to come while your womb remains still, and I can't imagine being in your place right now.  I just want you to feel like you're not alone, that we are all surrounding you with our love and prayers.  grouphug.gif

post #62 of 128

Thank you for checking in with us ... I know that all of us are thinking about you and praying for you and your family.

We care very much about you and your baby.  Both you and your baby are still very much a part of this due date club. 

I doubt any of us will ever forget your journey.

Many blessings ...

grouphug.gif

 

post #63 of 128
I don't know what your hospital has in place already, but I volunteered for a local L&D bereavement team. Bring a camera, and take more pictures than you think you'll need or want. Ask for prints of baby's hands and feet. If you are up to it, hold your little one for as long as you can. If baby's skin isn't too fragile, you can take hand and foot impressions. If baby has hair, take a lock as a keepsake. Ask to keep any blankets and clothing if the hospital uses their own.

I wish that no parents had to go through this...it is horrible to lose a little one. hug2.gif
post #64 of 128

Thank you for sharing that with us. candle.gif

post #65 of 128

I am so so sorry for your loss. Thank you for keeping us updated.

I agree with camera girl on taking as many pics as possible, the casts and the prints (oh how I wish I had prints). Hold your baby as much as possible, I regret that my time with my son was so short. Contact now I lay me down to sleep and see if they have a photographer in your area that can take photos (before, of, and after the birth).

I am praying for you and your family.

post #66 of 128

I'm unsure if you have a photographer already lined up for the birth. I've heard wonderful things about this organization http://www.nowilaymedowntosleep.org/ They have a network of professional photographers who will do photos for women experiencing a loss, at no charge. I'd encourage you to contact them unless you have other means lined up.

post #67 of 128
I am so sorry for your loss. You and your family will be in my thoughts and prayers.
post #68 of 128
Quote:
Originally Posted by Leiahs View Post
I know I may not speak for everyone, but I just want to say that you shouldn't feel bad or guilty for posting your baby's story here.  IMO, a Due Date Club is all about love and support, no matter what the situation may be.  I feel like at this time, there's a grieving among all of us for your loss, even though we don't know you personally.  I hope you find strength, love, and comfort here, instead of feeling like you're intruding on any of our needs.

I completely agree. Please feel free to post and share if you want to, but also don't feel like you have to if you don't want to. You are part of the DDC and very much in our thoughts either way.

post #69 of 128
Do what you need to do. Of course the loss of your baby is upsetting to me, as we are pregnant together. But it's part of life. I would feel so sad if you felt like you HAD to update us or felt like you were NOT supposed to do so. You get to do whatever feels right.
post #70 of 128
I am so terribly sorry for your loss and had a long cry over it this weekend. It is so terrifying to know that pregnancy is so unpredictable and not something we can control. I hope you start laboring soon so you can finally grieve. Please take care of yourself during this difficult time.

I'm not going to lie, your story scares the bejeezus out of me. My guy has been hiccuping like crazy (increasing) and I have had a mix of contractions and crippling pelvic pain/pressure all weekend. However, that said, I am so thankful that you took the time to share that information with us. It made me research things so that I am now aware of what I need to look out for.
post #71 of 128
Quote:
Originally Posted by ~pi View Post


I completely agree. Please feel free to post and share if you want to, but also don't feel like you have to if you don't want to. You are part of the DDC and very much in our thoughts either way.



In a way we have all become a part of each other....as we share our lives through this ddc....grouphug.gif

 

post #72 of 128
Quote:

Originally Posted by Leiahs View Post

 

 

 

I know I may not speak for everyone, but I just want to say that you shouldn't feel bad or guilty for posting your baby's story here.  IMO, a Due Date Club is all about love and support, no matter what the situation may be.  I feel like at this time, there's a grieving among all of us for your loss, even though we don't know you personally.  I hope you find strength, love, and comfort here, instead of feeling like you're intruding on any of our needs.  I certainly feel like your needs take precedent over mine, at this point.  I've been thinking of you so often.  It must be terrible to wait for labor to come while your womb remains still, and I can't imagine being in your place right now.  I just want you to feel like you're not alone, that we are all surrounding you with our love and prayers.  grouphug.gif


 

This.  Absolutely this.  

 

 

 

post #73 of 128

Oh Tutumama,  I am so sorry for your loss.  My heart is breaking for you and I wish I could give you a hug, make you a mug of tea, and help you feel comforted and supported.  None of us here know you in person, but you have become such an important part of this DDC, and each and every one of us is greiving for you and I know we all wish we could do more to support you right now.

 

You are a courageous and brave woman, and I have been continually inspired by your optimism, attitude, honesty, and strength.  One of my instructors told us that birth is only as certain as life can get.  I am so sad for you right now.

 

It is completely unfair that this baby's life was so short, but you are very much a part of this DDC.  Please do what you are most comfortable with, but you do belong here, we all would like to be able to offer you as much support and encouragement as we can.

 

Hugs to you.  We will be praying for you, and for this baby. 

post #74 of 128

Oh tutu...I haven't visited the DDC in several days and just now saw your post. I am so, so sorry for your loss...my heart is breaking for you.

 

You are in my thoughts and prayersgrouphug.gif.

post #75 of 128
Quote:
Originally Posted by Leiahs View Post

I know I may not speak for everyone, but I just want to say that you shouldn't feel bad or guilty for posting your baby's story here.  IMO, a Due Date Club is all about love and support, no matter what the situation may be.  I feel like at this time, there's a grieving among all of us for your loss, even though we don't know you personally.  I hope you find strength, love, and comfort here, instead of feeling like you're intruding on any of our needs.  I certainly feel like your needs take precedent over mine, at this point.  I've been thinking of you so often.  It must be terrible to wait for labor to come while your womb remains still, and I can't imagine being in your place right now.  I just want you to feel like you're not alone, that we are all surrounding you with our love and prayers.  grouphug.gif


Another "this!" for Leiahs post. You're one of us, and you can share anything and everything here. Don't feel like you have to hide your grief, but let us grieve with you. You've been and will continue to be in my daily prayers. 

 

post #76 of 128
Quote:
Originally Posted by Snugglebugmom View Post




Another "this!" for Leiahs post. You're one of us, and you can share anything and everything here. Don't feel like you have to hide your grief, but let us grieve with you. You've been and will continue to be in my daily prayers. 

 


Yep, ditto what's been said! We're in this together, and right now you need as much support as possible, so we are here for you when you need us. Thank you for sharing the info about the hiccups, that's something I never knew before. {{{HUGS}}}!!
post #77 of 128
Thread Starter 
Thank you gals! I'm so glad you all don't feel too uncomfortable with my presence. I absolutely don't want to frighten anyone, I know this is a hard topic during pregnancy. Amy May is right about birth and pregnancy being as certain as life gets. Life has risks but that is life, a reality impossible to escape. I hope you all are reading many positive affirmations and I hope you all know that your instincts are the best information you have.

AKChix0r, just be aware. If they happen more than 3-4 times a day and/or the cadence is rapid (more than 10-15 hiccups per minute) insist your baby be checked for entanglement/compression. Otherwise you don't need to stress! I was always pointing it out to my care providers and I really feel like my deepest instinct knew that it was odd. I complained about it to anyone and everyone. When my mom first told me of the research it was like lightening has struck. Here are two great articles for anyone who wants to read about this warning sign. I will leave it to your discretion if you want to read:
http://www.midwiferytoday.com/enews/enews0910.asp
http://www.missinggrace.org/PrenatalCare.html

We are still having a homebirth with my OB and midwife. We still have a birth photographer so we can have lots of pictures of labor and after. I'm going to make a video montage of the pregnancy and birth as I had planned to do before. I do a lot of video editing so I think making it will be very therapeutic for me. I want to give whatever I have left to give to this little one and so I'm trying my hardest to think of things I can do. I have a designer friend who also lost a baby who has offered to help make the birth/bereavement announcements. I hope the baby has hair so I can keep a lock. My dear hubby has contacted a dental supply company to bring molding materials so we can try to get a 3D hand and foot cast. Being in Brazil has made finding these types of resources a bit difficult. I just hope our little art project works!

If you are on FB and want to joint the candle lighting here is a link: http://www.facebook.com/Love4JC
post #78 of 128

tutu- it sounds like you are doing so much to honor and remember your lo. I would recommend posting a thread for ideas on the p&bl forum as you might get a lot that you havent thought of. I made a scrapbook for my lo's and it was very healing to do so. I also had a hb and am glad I was able to do it that way. If your dh is handy he might want to make a chest/box to put babies belongings in. If you have a blanket and decide to leave it with the baby make sure to keep one as well (I slept with mine for about a year).

I am really thinking of you and think it is very important for you to share your journey with us. I believe people shouldn't be sheltered from reality.

Hang in there and remember to take care of yourself as long as you need to. It is sad how soon others forget.

post #79 of 128

Still thinking about you often, tutu.  It sounds like you have some concrete plans to help you process some of your grief. 

May your body find the strength and peace to birth your baby the way you want to.

post #80 of 128

Oh my goodness, I'm so sorry Mama. You're in my thoughts and prayers. And thank you, for so selflessly sharing with us, not only your story, but for sharing such valuable information as well. Big hugs, I'll be lighting a candle for your little one tonight.

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