If someone could tell me this is "normal" I would really appreciate it!
As mentioned in my earlier post, I am a SMBC to Kate who will be 3 on 12/1. For almost 3 years it has just been us. I honestly assumed I'd date again in 10+ years. Enter Adam, the x who looked me up on FB about a month a go as he is going through a divorce. I am trying to find a happy medium that works for all of us as far as getting a sitter for Kate so we can have grown up time, having him come over after she is in bed for more of the same, and spending time with all of us together. Had I not known him for over 10 years I would never have introduced Kate to him this soon. But I trust him and know he has good intentions. Anyway, I am struggling with 2 things that never really occured to me (mostly because none of this occured to me since I hadn't contemplated dating this century!). 1 is that I am feeling a little torn when we are all together, can't please all the people all the time kind of thing. I can't put my finger on it or even peg a specific moment that made me feel this way but I am assuming this is pretty typical feeling in this situation? I don't think it is anything that either of them is doing specifically that has brought about this feeling. The 2nd issue I find a little more disturbing and is the one I really hope people can tell me they have gone through too. After the initial sweetness of seeing them together I have to say that this past weekend I didn't really enjoy many moments of us all being together. I actually thought "I want one of them to go away". There were moments I wished it was her and moments I wished it was him. When Adam and I dated years ago I had all of his attention. And he was very attentive. We are both very affectionate people and very touchy feely with eachother (except in the presence of my 2 year old of course!). For almost 3 years I have been Kate's world and now when he is around she could care less if I exist. SHE is now all touchy feely with him - loves to hold his hand, sit in his lap etc. Like I said at first the sweetness of it all just blew me away...then this weekend I realize I am jealous of their instant bond!
I knew I'd be torn when I do things like go out with him this weekend while she stays at home with a sitter. I am looking forward to it for he and I and hope she is having a particularly good night to ease my guilt over leaving her. That type of inner conflict I expected and knew I would have to work through. Jealous of my 2 year old? Hmmm, didn't see that coming! Anyone?