Thanks for those suggestions. These are all things that I know on some level or have done in the past and gotten away from over the summer (again, more natural opps over the summer). It's obvious that I need to rev things up again.
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I am hoping that the swimming coordination "clicks" for him soon. As with everything in his life, anything that requires coordination is difficult to learn but once he gets it, he does very well.Â
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Regarding the ODD, I typed the original post in the middle of a mini-"crisis," but I'm not really sure what the dx process looks like. I know ds is a challenging kid - but I also know that he has a real heart of gold, and not just sometimes but most of the time. When his OT evaluated him last year, I about cried because after years of listening to teachers complain, she said, "He really wants to please. His sensory issues just get in the way."  Â
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I've certainly been in the position sometimes feeling like he just has to "win" - I give him an inch, he'll take an inch more; if I give him a foot, he'll take 3 inches more, but it's not usually in a power-struggle sort of way, I don't think (can't think of a good example - maybe like I give him 10 minutes to read and he wants 12...or 15). He frequently doesn't follow directions the first time. I don't mean to explain everything away, but it very well could be a processing issue or sensory- or attention-related difficulty. But his teacher has been saying he's "non-compliant" and "defiant," (for things like, "Everyone go get your backpacks" and he doesn't go some days, or "Don't rock in your chair," and he rocks again later, but also for things like not getting to work when he's supposed to) and she even used the phrase ODD to me. I completely understand how draining it is, and I completely understand that she can't spend her day holding one child's hand to get him to do what needs to be done to allow the room to run smoothly. But again - what is "defiance" as opposed to sensory, attention, or processing?  Â
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I know that ODD often goes with ADHD. I don't know what the diagnostic questionnaire looks like or how loose/subjective it is. If it's questions like, "Does he follow directions right away?" and I (and his teacher) answer no, then do they look deeper for reasons behind it or do they just accept that as a defiant behavior? Also, sometimes he gets "stuck" in a really negative place (not at school, though). It often comes with a disappointment (told no to something he has his sights set on, getting in trouble), anxiety, not feeling well, or a transition. It can be hard to pull him out of it (I make him recite some positive thinking mantra of sorts until his demeanor shifts - seriously, it's like an exorcism! Suddenly he's giggling and his voice is relaxed and he doesn't argue about saying it anymore), but as soon as his head is "unstuck," he's fine (in terms of negativity).  I don't have the feeling that SPD is really acknowledged by the dev'l peds in town, so I'm really apprehensive about what I'm going to be up against. People who know ds (when they're not trying to teach him in a classroom) like him very much. My school psych friends have said that he is just very smart and strong-willed (but I guess that can be a deadly combination).Â
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