Dh and I met through music. We were both in the Wind Symphony at our university. I played the french horn, he played the trombone. He actually sat right behind me. I was also good friends with the music librarian, which is where he had a work-study job. I would hang out in the music library so I got to know him a bit that way, too. I was a year ahead of him (1.5 years older) and he seemed really young to me. He also seemed gay to me as he had frosted hair, two earrings, and tended to wear sweater vests. Turns out his roommate was in fact gay, but not him. As the year went on, our social circles melded a bit and we got to know each other better. I thought of him as a friend and he wanted more. There was even a point at which he asked me to do a Tarot card reading for him (this was something I dabbled in a bit for friends). His question was whether he should ask me out or not (though he did not reveal his question to me). The reading gave him a resounding NO and he always wondered if I made it up. But I hadn't. I wouldn't have been ready to take that step then if he had asked and it could have ruined our friendship. So he continued to find ways to hang out with me and I continued to let him. There was just something about him that intrigued me, but also something that held me back. Just before my birthday, toward the end of the school year, he asked me out. I told him I had to think about it. Then we had one of those epic, all night conversations where I basically asked him to convince me why I should date him. I had dated in the past, but not much. I was really inexperienced and agreeing to really be in a relationship with someone felt like a huge step. Especially someone I wasn't totally convinced I was interested in romantically. But I decided to go for it, figuring now was the time in my life to try things.
He was really a wonderful boyfriend. Very sweet, romantic, caring. He was fine taking things slow and waited several more weeks to kiss me. My roommate had to actually intervene a bit and ask him why he hadn't kissed me yet. That was embarrassing and humorous. We had a wonderful summer together where we ended up saying "I love you" and taking our relationship to the next level. Then I left for a semester abroad in Costa Rica. We decided to leave our relationship open- in other words, we weren't going to break up, but would remain open to other developments if anything should happen. I fooled around a bit while I was out of the country, though nothing major. He sort of had a few dates with another girl. When I got back I decided to break up with him officially as I thought I had changed and had different feelings. But over the next few months I experienced some culture shock and feeling isolated from my friends. He was really there for me through it all and eventually I realized that I really did want to be with him. He was willing to give me another chance, so we got back together and things were so much more real and deeper than they were before. By the middle of my senior year, he proposed.
We waited to get married so that he could finish up school, too. He knew what career path he wanted, whereas I was undecided and could find work with my degree in science/math without further education. So he applied to graduate schools and was accepted at the University of Arizona. Just a month after getting married, we moved to Tucson, AZ. It was really wonderful to start our lives together as a married couple in another state, away from our families. It was like Arizona was ours and we were able to discover each other and life without a bunch of outside influences. We were able to afford a house down there b/c real estate was fairly inexpensive and banks were approving everyone at that point. Turned out to be a great investment! As dh was finishing up his PhD, we started talking about kids. We decided to start trying in his 4th year so that he only had one more year to go when the baby was born. It took us several months to actually conceive (I had a short LP and had an early loss), so dd ended up being born half way through his 5th year. It all worked out except that we had to move with a 5 month old just after he graduated for his new position as a post-doc at UT in Austin, TX. I stayed home with dd while dh worked and got very involved in the AP community there, eventually becoming a certified API leader. Conceiving ds was a huge surprise (as we were not ttc and once again had an unexpected early loss so decided to prevent for several cycles) and especially since we knew we would be moving again to another state where we knew no one. Ds was born in Maryland and while looking for houses in our next and current home (Illinois), we found out I was pregnant with yet another surprise. So once again, we moved while I was pregnant to a place where we know no one. But through it all, we have had each other and while it's made many challenges greater it has also continued to bring us together and take our lives to unexpected places.