September 2011 Whatever Ladies Having Babies! - Page 18

[MarineWife]

kat ~ you are so right. when i told my sis there is nothing worse than being stuck in a car with your crying baby, my dad said, "yes, there is. being stuck in the car with the mother of that crying baby."

from what i've heard from sleep-training parents, it doesn't last, either. you have to redo it every so often. plus, when they get older they get out of bed 20 times and you have to keep putting them back in. i knew someone who said she does not parent after bedtime. she completely ignores her kids to the point that she doesn't hear them anymore. how sad is that?

[AnnieA]

The funny thing about DH suggesting I let DD CIO is that DSS 10 still asks for a sleep buddy just about every night and DH lays with him until he falls asleep. So I don't know why he would think DD wouldn't like a sleep buddy!

[MarineWife]

haha, annie! that is funny.

[onetwoten]

Katrina-- the first gift we got for baby was a set of lovies-- they're identical and meant so you can have them in multiple places, or stash one away in case one gets lost. I think we might have one specifically for the car-- I like the idea of that being a comfort item. And we could probably get it attached to the carseat so that it doesn't get lost, and is always there for her. 

DH will be horrrrrible with boundaries, etc for nighttime. He's said point blank that he doesn't want to co-sleep, and I don't really see it working for us either... but I know how often he gives in to the dog sleeping in our bed, and I'm pretty sure baby girl will end up in bed too. lol. He just doesn't have the heart to turn the littles down, even if it's the best option for us (ie I'm not sleeping well with the dog in the bed, because I need to be able to move my legs right now, and he sleeps on them... but DH feels bad for him, so he lets him up anyways. lol)

First day off. I had a busy, but very nice and 'normal' day. I had a meeting for work, so I got paid for three hours, and then I went and did some misc shopping. I stopped and tried on nursing bras at the store I used to work at-- still hate them. I was hoping that my size/shape had changed enough that they would be comfy finally. It sucks because I really really want a nice molded cup nursing bra, and that's the kind of thing that's nicer to be able to try on... but this one just wouldn't be worth the cost. So I'm going to have to order online I think. But then I run the risk of it not fitting at all. *sigh*

I also stopped and picked up ultrasound gel. We've just been used KY with the doppler, which is fine since we rarely use it (pulled it out the other day, but that was the first in I think... 2-3 months?) but I wanted good gel to be able to use when we're checking during labor. Since I want to stay home as loooonnnng as possible, I'm glad to have the doppler to be able to check. I also picked up some chux pads for when we're laboring at home. I'll have plastic and towels too, but I figure this way I can throw something quickly overtop of the yoga ball, stuff like that. 

Thennnn I went and finally used the gift certificate I had for that upscale baby place. It's a dealfind type thing, so I paid $25 for $50 to spend... but I did it so long ago, that now it just feels like $50 free. Anyways, the last couple times we've gone they've had almost NO stock, so I started to worry they weren't going to last much longer. I bit the bullet and used it for two more diaper shells (AMP OS pockets/duos) in gorgeous bright pink and purple colors, at which DH rolled his eyes, lol... and then a set of organic cotton sherpa washcloths. So two birds with one stone... or maybe more birds than that. lol. I needed a few more diapers at least, and this is such a splurge to have more brand new ones. lol. This means three of mine are new now, the rest are all used. And then for the washcloths, I realized I only have about 5, and since I want to use them as cloth wipes, I neeeeeeded to buy more before baby makes her appearance. So I still need more, but at least now I have 15. I've also got some sposie wipes to use up in the first little bit. 

Also made DH roll his eyes last night by taking out all the newborn-3 month clothing and organizing it again. It's all futile as it hasn't been washed anyways, but I sorted it more into sizes (preemie and newborn/ 0-3M / and 3M) and then hung the smaller sizes, and put some of the onesies into baskets, etc. Like I said, I know it's totally futile, but it made me grin to see it all hung up. And I can't do anything else in the nursery yet, so at least I got to have a little bit of fun!

[MarineWife]

i always just used regular skin lotion for my doppler. kellen pulled it out last night to listen to his heartbeat. i need to sell it.

i have a funny story. i ran out tonight to get dinner. it's been a long time since i've been out after dark. ethan and kellen chose to stay with a friend while i ran out. dylan came with me. i put him in the car and got in my seat. i looked in the rearview mirror to back up. i saw an arm pop up out of the back. it scared the crap out of me. i sort of thought that maybe one of the boys had snuck into the van to scare me. i yelled, "who's in my car?" no answer. i saw the arm again and started to get really scared. then i realized it was my own arm being reflected from the baby mirror into my rearview mirror!

[onetwoten]

I use lotion if I can't find the KY, but you're really not supposed to- not only does it not transmit as well, but it can damage the probe apparently. I noticed a definite sound difference between the lotion and the KY though, which was my main reason for not using it. And especially since we'll be using it during early labor as a 'diagnostic', I want to make sure we have the best sound. Actually though, thinking about it-- the ultrasound gel is cheaper than either the KY OR the lotion I have. lol. A normal size bottle was $4.50. The KY which was 1/3 the size was about $12, and my lotion, even the cheap stuff, is about $6 for the bottle. lol. 

MW-- that TOTALLY sounds like something I would do. Poor baby girl is going to be so traumatized being at home alone with me and my eccentricness. I've already turned the dog into a crazy OCD freak... baby's up next. 

[MarineWife]

what was really dumb about me getting scared was that my van was locked so it would have been difficult for someone to get in it. my dh and ryan tease me about locking ny car and the house during the day while i'm home. i think it must be a guy thing. they can't imagine the fears a woman can have, especially when alone with her kids.

ryan came by last night after i was in bed. i thought i heard the door open but wasn't sure. ryan didn't say anything. i think he may have wandered into the kitchen and then left b/c all the lights were out. i got down the stairs as he was locking the door. i opened it and asked if he was trying to scare me to death.

on that note, he told me he may be having a problem with his landlord. apparently, no one told him ryan was staying at the place. he didn't say it but i think he was implying that he may have to move back home. that's ok with me.

i didn't know the lotion could damage it. my MW used lotion on hers. mine came with a little packet of the gel and i didn't notice a difference in the sound. i wouldn't know where to buy the gel. i guess at a medical supply store?

[onetwoten]

I always lock my car when we're not in it. Is that not normal? I don't lock my house during the day unless I'm walking around in the nude or something while applying lotion, or doing a 'spa day' or something like that (we have family nearby that I wouldn't be surprised if they knocked and then walked right in without waiting for an answer). But I might if we lived in a different neighborhood.

It could be different kinds of dopplers too. Most of the ones I've seen, including mine, come with a warning not to use lotion, etc, but that doesn't necessarily mean that all of them do. Maybe the probes on some of them are made of a different material. I found the gel online for about $6, but then you have to pay shipping, so I was worried it was going to be like $12 in stores, but it wasn't, which was nice. And yeah, I found it just at the medical supply store DH buys his medic gear from. But apparently they keep it behind the counter, which I thought was weird!

[MarineWife]

i don't think it's weird for women to lock their cars. mine has a garage door opener in it so that's another reason for me to keep it locked all the time. and when the kids are outside playing i worry they might decide to go in the car for something and get locked in or get caught in the automatic doors. i watch way too many crime shows so i'm paranoid about having the doors unlocked. i do keep them unlocked when my kids are outside playing. you'll have to give up walking around naked in a few years when you have kids running in and out of your house.

i just watched the most moving X factor video. i reposted it on FB so watch it if you see it. i guarantee it will make you cry.

this link might work.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W86jlvrG54o&feature=player_embedded

[annie2186]

Originally Posted by MarineWife 

i don't think it's weird for women to lock their cars. mine has a garage door opener in it so that's another reason for me to keep it locked all the time. and when the kids are outside playing i worry they might decide to go in the car for something and get locked in or get caught in the automatic doors. i watch way too many crime shows so i'm paranoid about having the doors unlocked. i do keep them unlocked when my kids are outside playing. you'll have to give up walking around naked in a few years when you have kids running in and out of your house.
i just watched the most moving X factor video. i reposted it on FB so watch it if you see it. i guarantee it will make you cry.
this link might work.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W86jlvrG54o&feature=player_embedded

Thanks for sharing MW - that was an awesome video! 

I hope everyone is doing well! I need to keep up with this thread more! 

My baby is already six months old.......crazy how quick time goes........

[Baby_Cakes]

I just had a conversation with a, friend on fb about CIO. Her son is 1 and she's feeling pressure from friends to sleep train bc he cosleeps. Poor kid is teething. He isn't sleeping bc of that, but her friends tell her to be tough. That's not tough, that's cruel!! I think our chat really helped reaffirm her parenting choices. It feels good to help someone recommit, bc I know how hard it can get.

JJ, busy day!! Glad u got a lot accomplished tho!!

I always lock my car. Except sometimes my hands are full and I forget, and Chris gets so mad.

Lol about being naked only the house!!

I talked to my boss yesterday about not going back. Helped that i had both kids with me, she basically told nne to take all the time i need to feel ready. No rush, my job is still there, if i decide in a month or two that i want every other weekend or even by appointment we can work something out. Isn't that cool? I think so. Im not ready to completely turn my back, but i can't figure out why. I think I miss my friends, and just having that bit of me time.

Tomorrow is Noras bday. How is she turning 3 already? Tho, she's earning her title the past few days. She's too sassy for her own good. I hope tmw is a good day, regardless.

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[MarineWife]

that's great that you were able to help someone with that. i don't understand why people let friends influence them so much. i can sort of understand feeling pressure from family but not friends. even with family, though, sometimes you just have to tell them to butt out.

i hate the whole idea of tough love. what an oxymoron! the world is tough enough. kids of all ages need at least one soft place to land and that place should be home.

D cried on my shoulder for about 20 minutes this morning before falling asleep. this has become his routine for his morning and afternoon naps, although he usually doesn't cry so long. i think i could handle the crying pretty easily since i'm realizing it's his way to fall asleep. but sometimes he screams. not only does that kill my ear but it scares me. it makes me worry that he's in pain. i check everything i can think of. i try nursing but he just screams more. i put him over shoulder to burp. nothing. i sit him up, leaning forward slightly to burp. nothing. i check/change his diaper. i walk, rock, bounce and pat him. he still cries/screams til he falls asleep. he doesn't do this at night when we're all sleeping laying down. i just don't get it.

i've never had such an unpeaceful nursing relationship. he squirms and fusses in my arms. sometimes i have ti fight his hands away from his mouth or hold him to my breast for a few seconds while he cries until he latches on. i don't force it, though. if he latches on and then off and cries more i just hold him.

[onetwoten]

lol It's not like I do it all the time! I'm talking once every few months when I splurge and do a long bubble bath, shave my legs, then get to get out and put lotion on, get to paint my toenails, sometimes do a foot scrub, etc etc etc. As I said- it doesn't happen very often! But in that state if I hear the door start opening with one of our relatives, there's no way I'm making it to the bedroom to put clothes on quick enough (and I usually have wet nails I would ruin! lol)

I do feel good about getting that accomplished yesterday. I'm going to try to relax all day today, and then DH said when he gets home, he'd help me clean up the house a bit. 

Got a FB message from my sister this morning. A friend of hers who has a 9mo or thereabouts, just got left by her bf, who apparently took ALL of her baby things. She's here on a visit, so anything she didn't literally have with her, is gone. Her crib, all his clothes, toys, gear, etc.  I don't honestly know what to make of it. I'm friends with this girl on FB, and she's a lovely girl, but she's got some emotional issues. She's the type to leave a 'screaming' swearing, hysterical fb status about how her bf doesn't love her and how she cant believe she ever trusted him, and he's a no good loser, etc etc etc... but then a week later, she's posting that they got engaged. I'm sure he's got issues, but she's got issues too. (She had a very rough childhood, and actually stayed with us for about 18 months when she was about 12). 

Anyways-- the baby is a boy, and I'm assuming they're going back home to another province, so I'd never get anything back I loaned to her (like high chairs, etc). It makes me wonder what I can really do for her. I want to do something, but it's a hard place to be in. Part of me wants to grab her and shake her, and tell her she's not 16 anymore, she's a mother, and she needs to grow up and act like it. And part of me just feels sorry for her. sigh. 

[MarineWife]

JJ ~ if she had a rough childhood, she may just need someone to care for her without the lectures and advice. i know a girl like that. abusive, neglectful childhood, recently had a baby. bum of a bf. i try to just be her friend. i have told her that she can come here if she ever needs to get out. not much else i can do.

i've given up on loaning things with the expectation that i'll get it back. i just give things. that way there are no worries or feelings of obligation or resentments later.

[Baby_Cakes]

Originally Posted by MarineWife 

JJ ~ if she had a rough childhood, she may just need someone to care for her without the lectures and advice. i know a girl like that. abusive, neglectful childhood, recently had a baby. bum of a bf. i try to just be her friend. i have told her that she can come here if she ever needs to get out. not much else i can do.
i've given up on loaning things with the expectation that i'll get it back. i just give things. that way there are no worries or feelings of obligation or resentments later.

I agree with that.  I'm sure she knows she's in a bad place and is probably getting tons of unsolicited advice.  I say just be there for her, b/c you aren't in a place to give her any sort of ... i don't want to say lecture, but maybe she just needs someone to vent to.

And I agree with lending things!  Don't expect it back. Tho, Diane is going to lend me her bouncy seat and that I do plan to give back.  But the maternity clothes she lent me?  Hmm, where did I put them again?  Haha.  We'll see if she ever asks for them again, you know?

I have to share this adorable pic I took today.  I know you're all on my FB but whatever, I have to share!!

He didn't like having the hat on at all, but for the 5 seconds it was on he looked sooooo cute!!

Oh, and he finally took a bottle last night, so that's a start.  Going to try to offer them every so often so that he will accept them from DH and from others down the road.  

[MarineWife]

so cute in that hat! I have a couple of pageboy type knit hat patterns queued that I'd love to make. I haven't gotten around to it yet. Hm...maybe I should make one next since I've been at a loss as to what to make.

[onetwoten]

What a cutie!

No, I definately agree about the advice. I in no way know her well enough anymore to try to lecture her... It's just frustrating, you know? Like I wish I could but I know it's not my place. 

Apparently she is staying here in the city, so I said she could borrow our high chair, the walker, and the bath seat. But the hard part is that I -do- need these things back by spring. That's the problem. I don't really have anything I can loan to her that I won't need back, especially since our babe isn't even here yet and hasn't had a chance to use these things. My sister apparently went out last night and bought her a crib, a crib set and a mobile. That makes me feel bad because my sister is not in a good place financially either. She's working two jobs right now to try to pay off bills. Anyways, the only things I really have to be able to give her without expectation they will come back are some crib sheets and bumpers, and i think some Desitin we were given that can't use with our diapers. It's bad timing because I've spent the last couple months getting rid of anything that we wouldn't be needing. Most of it was girl things, but there were also some boys clothing, as well as bottles, toys, etc. Everything I've got left are things that we've bought specifically for this baby (or pink)- I don't want to give them up before we've had a chance to use them at least once. 

[MarineWife]

annie. Good to hear from you. I can't believe your little babe is already 6 months old!

JJ ~ Are there any charities or churches or women's shelter type places around where she could maybe get some free baby stuff?

This is so funny I have to share. I just got off the phone with Sean. I told him that I went to the chiro for the SPD. He says, "What?!" I got mad and gave him a hard time about not remembering, especially since he asked me about it the last time we talked. He asked me what in the world I was talking about so I had to spell it all out for him again. Finally, he says, "Oooh, SPD. I thought you said STD!"

[Baby_Cakes]

Omg LMAO!! That's a good one!!

JJ, I dont think you're under any obligation to give this woman things you bought for your baby.

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[MarineWife]

Yeah, can you imagine? Hey, honey, I know you've been gone for 6 months but I just had to get treated for a STD. I asked him why in the world I would go to a chiro to treat a STD. He said cuz I go to the chiro for everything. Such a goofball.