5 year old wild in the evenings!!

[AppleCrisp]

Hello mamas - been a long time since I posted here!  I have a lovely 5 year old...who becomes a totally wild, crazy, uncontrollable beastie as soon as evening arrives. I am at my wits' end here!  I can't imagine why he suddenly has so much trouble controlling his behavior and actions every evening at about the same time. I suppose he could be tired, but I can't put him to bed at 6 pm. He's well fed. He just loses all control over himself and I've tried everything.  If I give him a quiet time in his room he destroys things and it never calms him down. I have other children, and things to prep for the next day, so I do need some time to wash dishes, clean up dinner, pack lunches, etc and I can't sit with him every evening for hours directing his behavior or entertaining him. I've tried involving him my activities (dishwasher, dishes, etc to keep him with me but he's just too wild).  Any ideas about why this might be happening, and how you might handle it? Because so far the only thing that tames him is the TV, and that is not a good solution for me. (I have no spouse at home in the evenings, BTW, just me).   

[Imakcerka]

Oh jeez, as I read this my 8 and 6 year old have hit their "happy time". I mean running through the house and wrestling like crazy. Both DH and I feel like we're directing traffic. We've tried a lot to get this behavior to stop and the best thing so far is giving them something to do. Not what we're doing but something else. Since it's nice outside I let them water the gardens... which means they'll be watering themselves. Or even taking out their art supplies and putting them on the back porch.

It also helps that we have a shelter dog, she really dislikes screaming and doesn't understand the difference between laughter and yelling. So she gets upset and hides. So we use her unease to get them to listen. Like right now I had to point out Cow dogs discomfort as she was hiding under the table and buster the beagle is old and gets confused with too much commotion. If he starts barking at the wall because of their crazy spell they have to sit with him and brush him till he calms down and that can take awhile.

I also tell them I don't mind them getting their energy out but that's outside behavior. I won't stop them unless it's dangerous. They need to unwind somehow and little people run it off. Good luck and don't get too upset this is normal behavior.

[Just1More]

Yeah, mine have all sorts of energy right after supper. 

I usually send them outside if the are too crazy.  We also have swings in the basement. 

What about the bathtub?  Could he play in there with some fun music to listen to and a bunch of stuff to write on the walls with, and change the color and scoop and pour?

And...how much run around time does he get earlier in  the day?  It seems like if mine have had plenty of outside time in the morning, it sets them up better for the day.

Oh, and sometimes we go for a walk after  supper.  That usually is really good for everyone.  Could you take him around the block on his bike once or twice, then set him up with an activity or plop him in the tub?  It could be that he just doesn't know WHAT to do with himself at that time of day.

(nak)

[Imakcerka]

Sounds like she has a lot of things she needs to get done in the evenings.  Usually when I look busy that's when my little people act out.  They could be good all day and not need me at all.  Then as soon as I seriously have things to do they do what it takes to get my attention. 

[caenach]

ITA with Just1More. We have a 3-year-old, but getting lots of exercise in the late-afternoon/early-evening seems conducive to a more pleasant bedtime routine. DD isn't good at running around by herself--she really needs some direction/involvement from one of us, but if we can spare half-an-hour to concentrate on really running her ragged, followed by a soothing bedtime routine (bath, story, quiet, etc), bedtime is much easier!

When she's totally bananas, a late evening walk (even in the dark) is often so helpful...it's exercise, but at a soothing pace, we get time to connect/talk/concentrate on one another, and it redirects her interest away from, you know, tearing the house apart!

[crowcaw]

This probably isn't a good answer for most but recently I've decided to let 6yo twin dds go crazy after dinner/before bed and after about 15-25 minutes they seem to calm down on their own.  I send them upstairs ('cuz I really can't listen to the crazy), tell them a time when I'm going to start reading (usually 30 minutes after I send them up), and that they need to be in pajamas and flossed and brushed by then.  By the time I sit down and start reading they're usually ready and ready to settle in next to me.  If they're not, then we take them to bed, try to engage in coversation, but if they're not into it, it's just lights out.  But letting them hoot and holler for a while at least for the time being is doing the trick.   

[Imakcerka]

crowcaw, that works for one of mine.  The other one needs more direction, as in last night as DH and I were making dinner, we asked them to bring in the laundry.  Ha, I came outside to see DD1 hanging from in a tree in her chonies, while DD2 threw dirt clots at her.  The laundry still hanging.  Oh well so much for me trying to keep them busy... they found something better to do.  Still trying to figure out why she took off all her clothes...

[mamaupupup]

Is your child happy wild or some other kind of wild (like aggressive wild)?  I have one child who loses control when her body is processing things her body can't handle well (sugars, maybe wheat, and probably a handful of other foods I haven't quite figured out).  To me it seems like she is trying to get away from herself.  Maybe some foods could be at the root of this?  Just a thought!?

Another source of craziness for us with one child was an abcess tooth.  We are a brush 3x a day and floss daily family, no sticky sweet treats and STILL one of our children got a tooth abcess.  We had no clue (even when I looked in her mouth I couldn't see what the dentist saw right away). 

Hang in there, you'll figure it out!

[4Marmalade]

My dd (6) gets this way in the evenings now that school is back in.  She is happy to be home at first, gets a little tired and mopey right before dinner, eats dinner and then gets wild right after dinner.    Unfortunately, it just seems to escalate until she ends up crying over a hurt, injustice, etc... and then she collapses into bed.  For her, I know it is because she is tired.  And I do put her to bed early - 6:30pm is not unusual.  She falls asleep right away and sleeps for 11-12 hours.  She has always been like this when she gets tired.  I'm hoping she gets used to the longer routine of going to school everyday.  I actually told dh, before school started, that I was really going to miss my sweet dd once school started because I knew she would be a tired, grumpy bear and aside from the time in the morning that was all we were going to see from her.

[Mizelenius]

If TV works, why not use it?  If your child is worse afterward, I can see-- but if it is a tool that helps him stay calm and you get done what you need to get done, do it!  The computer is another good option, if possible . ..IMO, as long as you are selective about what they watch/use on the computer (my 6 y.o. loves www.multiplication.com), then it's OK.  All of the kids were watching Bill Nye science videos last night while I made dinner.  I'm fine with that!

You have no spouse.  You probably have no other help.  Your son probably is tired, but like you said, you can't put him to bed so early.  Eventually, as he gets older and better able to manage his moods/energy (and he won't be so tired that early), you can gradually decrease watching TV/using the computer. 

Now, if TV/computer have bad side effects (make it harder for him to sleep) then there are other options, but I find they usually take more of your time, so you'll have less opportunity to get done what you need.  Wondering if there is something that would keep him busy AND active that he'd like (that you wouldn't have to direct him with) . . .something like wii fit but better?

[foreverinbluejeans]

I agree that if TV works why not use it? Sometimes when we are alone with kids we have to do what works even if its not the best choice. You could pick things you approve of for him to watch.

When my middle son was 4-5 I had a difficult pregnancy with problems with asthma and pneumonia and bedrest and then I got pneumonia and septicemia right after the baby was born and had to be on IVs at home for 3 weeks. My son and I watched way too much TV. I remember in the afternoon we would watch this monkey progam with Lancelot Link and the monkeys were spies. All that TV didn't ruin my son. He doesn't watch much TV now as an adult. He reads more than he watches TV. He is a nurse. Maybe all that bedrest was the reason he became a nurse!