As my due date gets closer, I am filled more and more with anxiety and dread about being exposed/naked during the birth. I am having a home birth (possibly a water birth) and my husband, doula, midwife, and midwife assistant will be here, and I'm not sure who else. I am a very modest person and I'm very, very self-conscious about my very overweight body. My stomach, thighs, breasts, and butt are covered in stretch marks (all from before my pregnancy). I am very paranoid about being surrounded by thin women while I look like this (not pregnant, just fat and stretched out in every which way).
I know this sounds absolutely ridiculous but I really resent they'll all get to be fully clothed while I'm exposed. I can't help but think if everyone stripped down it would make me feel better. LOL!! It's only fair, right? I kept thinking, "Well, at least I can keep my breasts covered during the birth," but my midwife said I need to bring baby to breast and start nursing right away. I wanted to say, "I'll do that after you walk out of the room."
I'm to the point where I haven't even experienced birth yet and I'm already thinking there is no way I can go through this a second time and next time I'll just have a UC. DH actually wanted to have a UC this time but I was afraid neither of us would know what to do. Now I'm sorry I didn't listen to him.
Please, please, please do not say during labor I won't care, that I'll lose all my modesty, I won't care who sees what. EVERYONE keeps saying that. And maybe it will be true. But it's doing nothing to ease my anxiety NOW while I'm waiting for that day to arrive. Does anyone have anything helpful to say to help ease my anxiety?