Give up on co-sleeping?

[EandE]

DD is 8 mo and has co-slept with me since birth, except for a couple of months (3-5mo) when we were able to use the Arm's Reach co-sleeper.  There were times when it was really difficult due to her night waking and keeping me awake, but then it became enjoyable for me.  DH moved to the couch to give us more room (we only have a Queen bed), and DD only wakes me 1-2 times a night.  I love snuggling with her!

 

Unfortunately, since DD has become more mobile-- she's big into rolling over and is creeping a little-- I don't feel like co-sleeping is safe.  We put our mattress on the floor, no box spring, figuring it was so close to the floor that she wouldn't get hurt if she rolled off.  Well, she rolled off twice and she may not have been hurt but she was certainly startled and upset!  So we put blankets and pillows around the edge of the bed to cushion her... and she rolled off 4 more times!  Most of those times she was ok, but once she missed the pillows and was very upset, and once she was fussing because she couldn't get off the pillow.

 

Two nights ago, we decided to move DD and me to a futon on the floor in her nursery and put blankets and pillows around that.  But she is still rolling off, sometimes on purpose and sometimes in her sleep.  It is very hard to get her to sleep because she is still amazed with her ability to roll over and she will roll to the edge of the futon and kick at /pull at/ lay her head on the blankets and pillows.  She will roll herself partly or fully onto them and then I have to keep pulling her back onto the mattress.  She has already woken herself twice by rolling off onto a pillow or, if the pillow gets pushed aside, onto the floor.

 

Now I am thinking that the only safe option is to put her in her crib.  We were planning to transition her into her crib eventually, and she does nap in it a couple of times a week for the sitter, I just didn't think it would happen so soon.  I am very sad about the thought of losing our cuddling time!  The other issue is that she will only take a full feeding if we are laying in bed.  If I try to nurse her anywhere else, she will get too distracted and pull off constantly and only take about a half feeding.  

 

So... what can I do?  Is there something I'm missing about the situation that would make continued co-sleeping possible?  Do I try to nurse her on the futon and then place her in the crib (she almost never nurses to sleep anymore)?  Do I stay in the room while she falls asleep or will that be too distracting for her?  Do I continue to sleep on the futon so I can nurse her on it when she wakes at night?  Advice, please!

[rparker]

I coslept on a futon on the floor with DD1 who didn't get out of bed on her own until she was an independent walker. And now I'm cosleeping on a futon on the floor with DD2 who gets up on all fours and slams her head into the wall and attempts to crawl over me and sneak off the second she wakes up... so I feel your pain! 

If you WANT to continue cosleeping (and it definitely makes breastfeeding easier) I think it's doable. Continue to sleep on the futon mattress on the floor (of course with baby safe bedding). It helps to place it in the corner of the room and to place the baby between you and the wall. Make sure that the room you are sleeping in is COMPLETELY baby proofed. Remove anything and everything that she could injure herself on. Sleep with the door closed. (Google Montessori baby room for cute ideas if you want to get carried away.) 

That's how I survived cosleeping with DD1 at least. Had she been in a crib I would have been up and down all night nursing her. If your DD sleeps through the night (or you don't mind getting up to BF) you could try switching her to the crib. 

[EandE]

Thanks for your reply!  Last night was a bit hairy.  I woke up at one point and DD was not on the futon with me.  I usually keep a hand on her while we sleep, but she surprised me... she was sleeping peacefully on one of the pillows next to the futon!  Once I brought her back beside me, she kept trying to roll over the side (due to the layout of the room, there is no way to get the futon against the wall).  I eventually took the pillows from the floor and put them on the edge of the mattress and that settled things for the night.  But I don't feel comfortable having pillows next to her for the long term.

This morning I wanted to try napping her in the crib since I needed to shower for work and I didn't feel comfortable leaving her alone on the futon.  I wasn't able to get her to fall asleep in her crib, but I eventually got her to sleep on the futon next to me and was able to transfer her to the crib.  I just realized that because of my work schedule this week, DH will be putting her to bed for the next 4 nights.  He is pretty convinced that the crib is the only safe option at this point, so we'll see how that goes!

I do want to continue co-sleeping, and I'm hoping that this isn't an all-or-nothing decision.  Maybe she will grow out of all this rolling round (or at least learn how to do it safely), or maybe we can at least nap together on occasion.  

[cww]

Have you tried a bedrail?  We use this on our regular platform bed, and it's made to work with any type of bed, so I think you can use it even with a futon on the floor:

Dex Products Universal Safe Sleeper Bed Rail

This was the only one that we found that would work with our platform bed, and it has kept our super crawler who always wants to pull herself up and who thrashes around in her sleep from rolling off the bed in her sleep. 

[EandE]

Thanks!  I was wondering if a bed rail would work with a futon.

We've come to a bit of a compromise.  DD falls asleep on the futon and then we transfer her to the crib for the first half of the night (or for naps when I need to shower and can't hear the baby monitor).  That way, when we're not in the room with her we know she's safe.  When she wakes for the first time, I bring her to sleep on the futon with me, where I can watch her.  I also put some rolled up towels under the fitted sheet on her side of the bed to serve as a sort of speed bump.  It won't stop her if she's determined to get off the bed, but it seems to prevent her from rolling off in her sleep-- at least so far!