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What was harder.....0 to 1.....or 1 to 2!!!????

Poll Results: Which was a harder on you/your family:

  • 65% (17)
    Going from 0 to 1 child
  • 34% (9)
    Going from 1 to 2 children
26 Total Votes  
post #1 of 22
Thread Starter 
Just curious what people think about this topic for the heck of it! I posted it in Life With A Babe a while ago, and now as my LO grows- I am wondering if the folks here in Toddler Land feel the same way (it was about a 50/50 split on the poll over there- btw)
Lots of pals said the shock of going from no kids to one was the toughest for them, and having two was no biggie...and others said the opposite.

And, of course, if you had multiples....this poll doesn't really apply to you!!  
post #2 of 22

I don't know. Both transitions were tough. DS1 was/is higher needs than ds2. If they would have been flipped, I would probably be saying 1 to 2.

post #3 of 22

Another one here that is spilt. Both were really, really hard. If forced I'd say 0-1 just because I had no idea what the heck I was doing back then but 1-2 was so bad that I only have faint memories of it. I think I purposely blocked most of it out. shy.gif


My view is probably colored by the fact that DD1 was an insanely difficult baby, well actually not much has changed, she is just a difficult 8 year old now! I cried many, many tears with a nonstop crying, never sleeping baby. DD2 got seriously ill as a brand new newborn and went on to have a lot of medical problems for an extended amount of time. It didn't make for the easiest adjustment from 1-2 when you are either stuck in the hospital with #2 and can't see #1 or can't take #2 outside the house for months and months.  I feel like i just ignored DD1 for the first year of DD2's life, and I really did, I had no choice but to choose between the two. 

post #4 of 22

I voted 0 to 1 was harder. Part of it is the having no idea what to expect the first time and in general being more comfortable as a parent the second time.  Another part for me is that my second child was/is such a good sleeper.  A good sleeper makes parenting a lot easier!

post #5 of 22

Going from 1 to 2 was much, much harder for me. I thought that #1 was an easy baby and great toddler due to my superior parenting abilities :) HA! #2 really threw me for a loop and had some health issues to boot. It took me a good two years before things started to get easier. Now he is the sweetest 5yo you've ever met, but those first couple years were seriously rough.

post #6 of 22

Zero to one was like no big deal at all.  One to two rocked my world.  Granted, my kids are 20 months apart, so I think that was the major difficulties I had.  But it was WAY different than I expected going from one to two and way more difficult.  Just my experience.

post #7 of 22

I would concur with the others that said 0-1. For the pure fact of having no idea what you are doing!! My husband and I now laugh at how easy it was with just one baby with our four kids four and younger! :o) 


I had no idea what I was doing at first - no clue how challenging a high-needs baby was going to be with constant on-demand nursing and getting used to not being able to do anything without a production, etc, etc. After baby #2 arrived, we were already used to everything and a little more mellow.


That said, I think any time you add another child to the mix, it always complicates things!!

post #8 of 22


post #9 of 22

Even though we're only 4 months in (our son is 16 months) 1-2 has already been much harder for us. Like YayJennie said...it's rocking my world. My son is very active, spirited and willful and we're in frequent and intense temper tantrum mode. From 0-1, I just threw my little bug in the sling and went about my day.Granted, we didn't deal with colic and my husband and I have both been around lots of other babies so we weren't totally lost when our son was an infant. Now that the little guy is more mobile, I have to stay so much more aware and he seems to be constantly testing the limits. I'm a pretty patient person but I definitely find myself pushed to the edge a lot lately!

post #10 of 22
I would say 1-2 is harder than 0-1
post #11 of 22

0-1 was much harder by far!

1-2 i was so worried about (i thought it would be like the 0-1 but multiplied by 2) but i seemed to get a "grace period" to grow into it when #2 was a newborn and either sleeping or in the sling. it'll get tougher i'm sure, as she gets bigger and has actual "needs" of her own but right now at 3 months she's still kind of just tagging along for the ride.

post #12 of 22
Can I say neither and pick 2 to 3? Really, that was the hardest. 0 to 1 was hard at the time, I was unprepared for how much my life would change, but it wasn't awful. 1 to 2 was super easy, my DS was an easy baby, and it was all fine. 2 to 3 has been rough, even with her at a year now, it's rough. She had reflux, trouble nursing, trouble gaining, I had had supply issues. I ended up supplementing for the first time when DD was 9 months. If it was DD1, I could have taken the time to shut myself away and focus on her, and get her to nurse more, but with two others? And a job? It was too much. For me, everything about 3 was the hardest, my pregnancy, her first year... I think much of that ends up being attributed to the babies personality though, you know? My DS was an insanely easy baby. He was SO easy and laid back, it as no trouble adding a second to the crew, he just rolled with it, whatever "it" was. DD2 couldn't do that. She was pukey, and not gaining well, and high needs, AND I had two other kids to chase. The return to work was a nightmare, despite the fact she was with Grandma. Before baby #3 I was on the fence about trying for #4, now, I'm done!
post #13 of 22

I voted 1-2.... 

It took me 6 months after having DD1 to really feel into the swing of things. With DD2,  it was so EASY at first, then about 2 months, DD2 became so needy and it was so rough from 2-10 months.... Brutal.  Now, I am feeling a little more able to handle it and it is feeling good now at 1 year.  DD1 was super easy as ababy and became a little more difficult right around when DD2 was born, and DD2 has been much more needy from the beginning.  Both needed 100% of my time and attention for those long 8 months.  Now though, I am loving it!


I think it depends on the person, the children and the age gap.



post #14 of 22

I voted 0-1.  1-2 has its challenges but its nowhere near as life altering as 0-1.

post #15 of 22

Without a doubt, going from 1 to 2 was MUCH harder.

post #16 of 22

I voted 1-2 as well. DD was not an easy baby particularly, more middle-of-the-road, but she was verbal very early, and that helps so much. While she was opinionated, she was also easily pacified at the breast.


About the time that I fell pregnant with DS, however, DD was hitting her 4s, and it was a difficult time for us. She had started junior kindergarten, and was somewhat resentful that DS had me to herself, and at the same time was now under the influence of a lot of other kids at school who were more, um, worldly, than she was. We worked through that, but she's still a sensitiv, reactive girl, and DS is a very LOUD and stubborn child, which can lead to some tense times if the parents are also tired!

post #17 of 22

0 to 1 was a sudden jolt when DD1 turned out to be a micro-preemie, 1 to 2 started out slowly but then DD2 ended up being PG and 2E. The jury's out on this one!

post #18 of 22
For me, 0-1 was more of an identity issue--giving up my job and old life and becoming a sahm, finding new friends, etc. I liked th actual work of having a baby, but I was lonely and lacked confidence.

1-2 was a lot more difficult because it seemed like there was never enough of me to o around. I felt like I wasn't a good mom to either kid. I think 2 took away pretty much all our free time for the first year or so. Seems like dh and I fought pretty badly about time/chores that first year.

Getting ready to make the transition to 3.....
post #19 of 22
Thread Starter 
Bumping for the fun of it!
post #20 of 22

I voted 0-1 although both had their challenges..


I had NO experience with babies prior to having my own. When I was 8 months pregnant I babysat my co-workers 3 month old and thought "wow this is easy".. Then I had my child. She didn't sleep, ate every hour (thank the Lord for breastfeeding and co-sleeping) and I had a horrible time breastfeeding. When she was 3 months old I left the military so I gave up what had been most of my life for 4 years. Then we moved from the states to Japan, which meant I gave up all my friends and family since we moved so far away. No support system lead me to get some pretty severe bouts of depression and I had a doctor that wouldn't prescribe antidepressants unless I was willing to wean. She also went through this crazy crying period between 4-10 months where she would cry for 4-8 hours straight every day no matter what I did. Her first year and a half I barely remember.


The hardest thing for 1-2 was 2 was a NICU baby. I wasn't prepared to have a child in the NICU and it took a toll on me mentally and physically. I had a rough start to nursing with her as well then my husband left for training for 2 months when she was 3 months old. Having 2 young children by myself was pretty rough. But I didn't get really bad depression and by then I had a support system of other spouses/military members I could turn to when I needed help or someone to talk to so it was easier.

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