Anyone upset by the "Back To School" pictures, posts and ads?

[Trinitty]

Hey there,

Haven't posted in forever. Nice to see Mothering thriving :)

BG: We are not planning on sending DD3 to school.

Have been reading and planning for years. Dozens of reasons.

......................

Is anyone here upset or bothered by the actions of parents who post pictures of their children, some crying, some blissfully unaware, on their way to school? Some are going for the first time.

It brings back memories for me: How excited I was about kindergarten... and then how disappointed.

I locked myself in a bathroom stall with my mother pleading with me to come out for the first day of school every year after that up until 4th grade, when I resigned myself to the sentence I felt public schooling was.

I am upset with some parents who seem to be unaware of the feelings of their children.

I don't know many of these people well, they are "FB Friends" mostly.

And, of course, there is the unending stream of ads and news stories talking about getting rid of the kids after being trapped with them all summer.

Do any of you see the same things and feel the same way?

I am not condemning those who send their children to school.... I just personally find it hard to watch.

Be well.

Trin.

[Fillyjonk]

Sorry you feel so sad about it. FWIW I haven't seen much of what you describe, but I am in the UK so perhaps it is different here. I'd say pretty much all the kids I know who are in school are mostly happy to be there. I must say, I did love school , particularly primary (elementary?) school, so not sure its about being "blissfully unaware" for all kids-some, many even, kids do love school, whether that's reason enough to send them is of course a judgement call for us parents to make.

[limette]

No it doesn't upset me. Frankly it's none of my business and not everyone has the luxury of homeschooling.

[Trinitty]

Thanks for that Filly.

The "blissfully unaware" was perhaps too self-centred.  It was because of a pic I saw of an old schoolmate's daughter, dressed up for the first day. I know the schoolmate had a terrible situation at school, constantly bullied to tears, while being so brilliant... and it just brought back memories of seeing it. I hope you are right. Maybe his child will love it, maybe I am worrying for nothing.  I truly hope so.

Trin.

[philomom]

Some people take pictures of their kid crying on santa's lap, too. But my irritation won't change the world! You could de-friend these folks if you feel that strongly about it.

[onlyzombiecat]

I get tired of all the back to school articles and ads without mention of any educational alternatives going on. I feel like the rest of us don't exist even though we are out there buying paper, pencils, and children's clothing too.

I feel strange that people are sending their children to school when they or their child are so unhappy about it. I want to say to parents that if it is so upsetting to send your little one to school you should explore other alternatives as well. Just because it is joyful and right for some children and families to separate at that age that doesn't mean you have to go through tears and anxieties over it.

[zebra15]

Not really because I feel 'back to school' is a blanket statement for so much more.  Kids activites are starting and they need supplies for those, shoes and clothes are just plain old wearing out.  You can get away w/ 99c flip flops for most places in the summer.  Come fall you need 'real'shoes and probably a jacket and long pants too!

Its not just the new school season, but the new gymnastics season, the new competitive swim season, the new art club season etc.  So much needs to be purchased and scheduled between August and October it gets to be a crazy.

Again not everyone has the option of homeschooling or making a different educational choice.

[Amatullah0]

The parents who talk about being "glad that they're getting rid of their kids" really upsets me. It bothers me that even though DS isn't even old enough for most preschools, people love to talk about when he is going to school, or how he's starting soon, or in the case of meeting a teacher while visiting our local high school, saying "oh wow, you're going to be here pretty soon, huh" (to DS). School isn't a given for us, and it's not even really on the table right now. We'll probably take advantage of our states program that allows homeschool kids to enroll in extracurriculars, and let him to public high school if he wants to, but school is not really something that we see for our family. I don't like to get into it when people ask, so I just say whatever it seems like they would want to hear. 

[MommaCrystal]

The only person who is raising my eyebrows in the one who decided she was pulling her kids out of school and  homeschooling.  She went to a conference last spring, dumped a boat load of money on curriculum, joined our homeschool group, etc etc etc She drilled me and other mother's on our curriculum choices and all that sort of thing. She then spent the summer making her kids do the work she bought.  I warned her that this wasn't a great idea but they LOVED it and begged for more. 

Well she has changed her mind. When I asked her what happened she told me the summer was a disaster and homeschooling would never work for them. Now all her FB statuses are complaints about school and all that involves.  Right down to yesterday morning's post (a holiday when her kid's don't have to go to school) where she was griping about having to drag them out of bed early in the morning so that when the day was over she could get them to bed early so they'd get up in time for school on Tuesday.  Go figure. 

[funkymamajoy]

Originally Posted by philomom 

Some people take pictures of their kid crying on santa's lap, too. But my irritation won't change the world! You could de-friend these folks if you feel that strongly about it.

I hate the Santa pictures. All that trauma for just a picture.  But I've only seen happy first day of school pictures. Well, last year my kindergartener was not happy that I took his picture on his first workshop day at our charter school but that was about the picture.

[purslaine]

Trinity - I hear you.

I do find all the back - to - school stuff a little grating.  Thankfully, I do not know anyone who has posted pictures of miserable children.

I do hate the Staples ad "It is the most wonderful time of the year".  Maybe for some kids - but hardly all.  The parents rejoicing in their kids going back to school when school is a hard or ambivalent place for some (many?) kids seems so insensitive.  I do know some parents are happy-ish their kids are going back but the gloat-y "wonderful time of the year ads" are still insensitive.

I think the fact that some people can't HS is irrelevant to this thread. 

The insensitivity around posting crying pictures and rejoicing in back to school is worse for kids and parents who struggle with school than anyone else.

[ancoda]

I do understand.  There is a local pizza place that has up on their reader board right now "the kids are finally back in school, SWEET, come join us for lunch."  The more I think about that sign the more wrong it feels to me.  Since it is usually  very kid friendly place, the sign just leaves me sad.

[AAK]

Originally Posted by funkymamajoy 

I hate the Santa pictures. All that trauma for just a picture.  But I've only seen happy first day of school pictures. Well, last year my kindergartener was not happy that I took his picture on his first workshop day at our charter school but that was about the picture.

Oh, it really isn't always like that!  MY dd wanted her picture with santa--she was nearly 3 (extremely verbal).  So, I let her.  Five seconds of being on his lap, she freaked out and we helped her off.  However, the picture person DID get a picture in.  She didn't try to climb off, she simply started screaming/crying and we rushed up to help her down.  And, while I can see how it could be disturbing, I love that picture.  It is disturbing though to see parents try to KEEP the child on the lap or worse, try to get them to "relax and smile" when they clearly don't want to be there. 

But, back to the original post.  I am a very "emotional" and "sensitive" person.  When my oldest when to Kindergarten, I did weep a bit.  But, not because I thought she was going to an evil place, or that she wouldn't like it, or because I thought she should be at home.  It was just a bit sad to see her Growing up.  She was "officially" not a baby anymore; she was a school kid.  I have had non-school moments like this too.  I tend to get teary when they make me extremely proud or hit a milestone.  So, not all tears are bad.  

I do get irritated with the idea of being trapped with your kids during the summer with back to school equaling parental freedom.  I think it is a distasteful myth to be perpetuated.  Most parents that send their kids to school (that I know) enjoy the time they get with their kids over the summer.  And, while at first, school days seem like a chance to get things done, they also tend to be more hectic/crazy especially in the evenings with parent meetings, extracurriculars, and homework.  I also think that myth is harmful to society.  I think it encourages negative thinking; I also think that it makes it harder for people to understand why someone else might choose to keep their kids home.

Amy