This may seem like a cruel question, since both mom and dad were involved in creating a new life. But, I read these boards frequently and always notice mom's writing "I" when they describe their decisions regarding vaccination and child healthcare. I take the "I" for granted during prenatal care, since it is still Mom's body that they are wanting to test and treat until the cows come home. But where is the line drawn in your households when it comes to making decisions about healthcare for your children?
I am currently 5.5 months pregnant with my first baby. I have doctored naturally and alternatively for the last 10 years, and have lost pretty much all faith in the modern healthcare system. I recognize the value of doctors in emergencies -- to mend broken bones, to rescue my baby if it was suffocating from the cord, etc. My husband won't even take Tylenol for a headache, but he does believe that doctors "protect" us with all these tests and treatments.
He's had to educate himself about the thyroid, glucola, and Rhogam in order to support me at my prenatal appts. (I"m happy to report that today was our first appt with a new medical practice and he really showed support for my decisions and always says "we", not "she"! You wouldn't believe how much easier that makes things!) Without any real education on the topic at all, he believes in and is willing to compromise with me and delay vaccination ... and selectively vaccinate. I want NONE ... he believes that they are necessary. I have purchased The Vaccine Book by Dr. Sears for him to read. I won't talk about it seriously with him until he knows the real score.
Our baby will not be in daycare, and I will breastfeed at least one year. As such, we are very low risk for the more severe childhood diseases. Still -- this is going to be a serious issue for us to conquer as a couple and as parents. I do fear that our relationship will suffer the consequences of sticking my feet in the sand, but it's worth it, right?! That's what I find myself asking, anyway ....
I have decided that I cannot and will not ever sign an informed consent for any vaccination for any of my kids. I won't live with it on my conscience. When we talk about it, I want to tell him that and, also, that I won't give him my blessing to do it either.
BUT, I feel like he's the Dad. He should have a say and some control over how this very serious issue is handled. Shouldn't he? I want to tell him that I can't stop him from doing it and just ask that he respect my feelings enough to follow Dr. Sear's recommendations for selective and delayed vax. That seems like consent, though. I don't feel like I'd harbor bad feelings toward him for doing it ... as long as I didn't endorse it at all ... it'd be all on him.
For God's sake! I don't even use normal deodorant so that I"m not rubbing aluminum into my glands! I'm certainly not going to let anyone inject it into my baby!
Anyway ... I'm just wondering how your husbands (particularly those who aren't accustomed to "natural" doctoring) react and get themselves involved with these types of issues and decisions? How do you deal with opposition? Have you conceded and regretted it? Have you rebelled and he became thankful for it? I'd love to hear the stories. I love my husband very much and want to treat him fairly ... but I feel an insanely strong sense to protect this child from things that I know are not good for it. :/