OK, this is probably going to be super long. But I'm at a loss. I don't know what to do! My husband and I have been together for 11 years (on September 17) and married 6 years (on September 17). We have 3 children, 12, 7, and 1 (he just adopted my 12 year old this past March). We have had our issues that any marriage would have, fighting over little petty stuff. But we always get over it fairly quickly. My husband works 60-80 hours a week in the car business and has been for the past 7 years. I am a stay at home mom and I make a little side money selling Scentsy and babysitting part time (I am also do online schooling full time).
Anyways, about 2 months ago, my husband started saying how he don't feel like himself, he feel's depressed, etc, but refused to see a doctor and said it will pass. 2 weeks after him first saying this, I seen him post on facebook that he was just having one of those days. So I text him and say "uh-oh, what happened?" He told me to leave the F alone and he don't want to talk about it. I was in shock. We weren't argueing or anything, so I had no idea where that was coming from. So I told him, I wasn't going to leave it alone, because he's hurting and he's my husband, so we'll talk when he gets home. So when he walked in the door at 9pm from work, I didn't even get a word in. He says I'm going out. I ask where he was going and he said he don't know, just out for a beer. He finally came in at 2:30 that morning plastered, could barely walk down our hallway. I pretended to be asleep. The next morning I was pretty upset about the night prior, and he wasn't happy that I was so upset. So he told me he's been unhappy in our marriage for awhile, he wants his freedom and independance, but he still loves me with all of his heart, so this was a hard decision for him. He left. I begged, pleaded, cryed, and seduced him to come home. Nothing worked. He was only gone for 5 days (he went out to bars every night he was gone) before he decided to come home. Things were good for 2 days and then he started the i'm so unhappy crap again. So he went out for the night. By this time I was furious, so I decided to take the kids out on the boat with my brother (I haven't left the house pretty much prior to this because I was moping around, to upset, I didn't eat for 2 weeks, etc). While boating he kept trying to text me and I wouldn't respond. When I came home, he was asking me if I was done (after all this time of him saying he was done). I told him I didn't know anymore. He started crying saying he's sorry. He was stupid, he really is happy, etc. After a long 3 1/2 hour talk, we decided to try again. Well, this time it lasted 6 days. We were absolutely wonderful! On Sunday morning we had our talk. On Tuesday he went and bowled and drank beer with his buddies. On Friday we went to the movies togethers, then Saturday comes and he wants to go out (alone) with his buddies drinking again. I told him I didn't want him to go because we just got "OK" and he should be focused more on us. He said he's going to do what he wants when he wants, he don't need a mother. He went out. Came home around midnight. Slept on the couch. He ignored me the next day. Then on Monday I ask him if he was considering leaving again. He wouldn't answer. I ask him about 30 times that day and he wouldn't answer. So i then said, is it that tough of a question that you have to think that HARD on whether you want us to work or not? He said yes. I took of my wedding ring and handed it to him. I don't know what I was thinking. I have just been so hurt these past couple of months. I guess I thought once I did that, he would follow me back to the bedroom and beg me not to divorce him, cry to me, etc (all the things I did, when he said he was done with us). But he didn't. He immediately got on the computer and started researching apartments. I tried talking to him the next day and tryed explaining myself, but he wasn't having it. He said he can't and won't keep doing this. Everything turns into a fight with us and he can't handle it anymore, he is to stressed out.. Then yesterday when he came home I went over to my moms (my parents are out of town and they are our next door neighbors). I just sat there drinking a glass of wine, watching TV, and thinking. My husband kept texting me asking me if I was coming home, I told him probably not. Around 11 pm, he starts texting me like crazy asking me to come home. I said "so you're wanting to work us out" He said no, I'm sorry, I don't. I love you so much, and this is killing me, but I can't take this anymore". So I laid in my parents bed til about 1am and couldn't sleep, so I came home. As soon as I laid down, my husband rolled over and we had sex. The next morning, I was thinking..wow makeup sex. I sent him a text as soon as I woke up saying last night was amazing and I wanted my ring back because I feel naked without it. He said the sex was awesome last night, but it didn't solve our problems and he hasn't changed his mind. I felt sick. I finally have him convinced to see a marriage counselor and we see one tomorrow, but I think my husband will expect us to only have to go this one time. He told me this appointment will make us or break us. How in the world are we going to be able to get everything out and fix things in an hour!?Â
Oh, and to top it off. My husband won a cruise to the bahamas through his work. My name and his names are on the tickets. We are suppose to leave on the 19th of this month. Everything is paid for 100%. He told me yesterday he's going by himself. But I wanna go!!
 Have you considered counseling?
