Round three begins

[tccandlsccmom]

As I have posted before, I am in the custody fight from H-E-double-hockey-sticks.  We had a nasty first hearing last winter, but I got all my ducks in a row for an early August hearing.  I didn't post but I got some good news  after that hearing -- which is an order from the judge that during the pendency of litigation the kids get to live with me, coupled with a finding that I have always been the primary parent and some of the dastardly things I had been accused of in the complaint are not true.  The judge in fact gave my ex less visitation than I had been offering when I was trying to mediate last year (he is out of state). So things are going well for now.  But for some reason I thought my ex would listen to the judge and his findings, and stop the litigation so we could mediate.  We cannot afford the financial burden (I am out of retirement funds at this point) and I was giving him more leeway than the court was ordering so I thought he would realize I had always been serious about co-parenting and keeping him fully connected to the kids. 

Background: we were together for 16 years, we had two kids now 9 and 6. I decided to leave him. I got a new job out of state (that he wanted me to take, and before we moved I told him that things would have to change -- though he thought it was more idle threats that I had made for years).  I have continued to try (more recently, just offer) to help him find employment in the new state (though he refuses to send me a current resume).  I have given him a lot of access to the children, and tried to keep him in the loop even more than my lawyer says is a good idea for litigation (sometimes I put mothering above court strategy...)

After the court order last month, we talked by phone and I honestly thought we were making progress.   Well, turns out I was dreaming.  My ex served me with discovery requests today, so the litigation is going to continue...and he is moving to reconsider last month's findings...

Upshot...I have no idea how I am going to afford this (I actually make a bigger salary than my ex, but we have huge joint expenses he is not covering at all and his family is giving him money to litigate) nor how I am going to stay emotionally balanced as this situation gets even nastier.

I hate it for me, but I hate it even more for my kids....

[JaneDeerGirl]

I'm sorry. I'm going through a similar heckaliscious battle with my STBX.

What is he seeking from the court? What is his issue?

We thankfully have no assets to fight over, custody is the only issue we disagree on, so nothing can move forward until that is resolved. I was hoping we could finalize at the Pre-Trial Conference, but it looks like we will be going forward to trial.  I don't want to put the kids through this.

And it's ALL power play. He just wants me to suffer, at the expense of the kids. I hope everything gets resolved quickly for you.

[Mom31]

you may need to take out a loan.

I too went thru a nasty custody battle. Hugs mama. I was awarded full custody in the end. But it was a hellish two years. Good luck to you. It sounds to me like you are in the lead..

[tccandlsccmom]

My ex thinks he wants full custody - that is what he sued for.  But he also wants me to suffer.  It is a power play, JaneDeerGirl.  And I suspect, like Emilie2, that it will be years before it ends.

Ugh.