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On going back to work/school - Page 3

post #41 of 165
Thread Starter 

ok, just met with our potential nanny/sitter.  We would have to drop DD over at her house, but overall this could be a very good relationship.  I feel like the extra driving around of DS and DD could be well worth it... fingers crossed she doesn't change her mind!

post #42 of 165
Thread Starter 

geez, it just occurred to me that if we go with this lady to nanny DD, we're going to have to provide her with a lot of things for her house-- a high chair, pack and play, toys, etc.  

 

anyone experience this before? (sending your child to a person's house that doesn't have a baby already and isn't a regular nanny).  trying to think of all of the things she might need to be prepared for baby.  

 

it would be so much easier to find someone to come to our house-- but I like this lady so much!!

post #43 of 165

I have not thought about providing things for a nanny...it does make sense if she does not have the equipment already...For now, can you start w a cheap bouncer (they are around 20 bucks) and a big blanket for tummy time and see how the relationship works out? Not be negative nelly here but in case something does not work out in a couple of months, you do not want to be left w extra stuff you've just paid for and now will have to store in your house  - just a thought, we are very short on storage space so it is always on my mind.

 

i say trust your gut - if you like her enough the drive will not be as big of an issue...but if you have doubts in the back of your mind than every extra mile would have bothered me ;-)

post #44 of 165

I'd just keep it really simple to start like elove suggested. Then do things like the highchair the clips onto the table, smaller, low-ket items.

 

 

Our new nanny started Monday. OMG, I'm in love. I have a weird situation where I work very part time but my DH works all the time, we see him for minutes in the morning, and maybe an hour at night. Needless to say, I do everything around here and always have. We don't go to the local school but travel across town so no bus service, my DD1 is on several sports teams. 2 kids get weekly to almost daily therapies. Basically it is a full time job just shuffling 4 kids around and feeding them. I'm slowly starting to do more at work, mostly at home right now. She is working for us 4 days a week but long days, she gets 40 hours during those days. The kids love her and she is quite productive and willing to do extra stuff around the house that I would never ask a regular nanny like raking a yard full of leaves. We trade off, I deal with all kids some days and she does house stuff and then other days I take the baby, and she gets the rest of the kids and does all their stuff with them. 

post #45 of 165
Quote:
Originally Posted by cat13 View Post

OK, so I'm deciding to look at this as a good thing, maybe I'll go to the county pool and do some laps or walk around Target for an hour... and just let DH and DS figure it out together. I totally trust DH and he is a great dad, but it's still hard to let go of what is supposed to be my job...



This is how I feel as well so it was easier for me to leave and let them work it out.  I think DH & DS could sense that as well when we were all home together and he was trying to feed him.  I feel like I'm letting DS down by giving him no other option to take a bottle if he wants to eat.  I plan on keeping my days short so hopefully the bottle thing won't backfire on me.

post #46 of 165
Thread Starter 

Thanks elove and peony.  I will keep it simple at first, that's a great suggestion.  I have a good feeling though about my lady.. I think it could really be a lasting friendship, not just a nanny/boss relationship.

 

She's not liscensed.  how do you all feel about a contract?  is it necessary? should I do a background check even though I don't feel there is anything to hide there? what about checking references?  To me, it is enough to meet her 3 boys and see how sweet they all are-- I couldn't ask for a better reference in my opinion. but still... should I talk to more people?  

 

I just have to tell myself-- this is all worth it in the long run to become an RN-- so that I can have extensive time with my kids.  otherwise, I'm going to cave and just stay home.  this is so hard!!!!

post #47 of 165

today I went through my clothing for work. Mind you I  do not have to wear any suits or dress-up stuff just jeans/khakis and shirts/sweaters - but man that was not a great experience. Thankfully I have stuff that fits, but being short and now busty (never in a million years I would think of saying that about me!) - everything looks different even if they fit. I do not want to buy stuff for this stage since I think (more like hope) that it is a transition (the pouch and oh the hips!). 

 

experienced mama's please tell me - am I being naive? Should I dish out some $$ for new clothing?

 

I do not need to look all professional but I also dont want look like I am barely fitting in my clothing = sloppy either.

post #48 of 165
Quote:
Originally Posted by elove View Post
 I do not want to buy stuff for this stage since I think (more like hope) that it is a transition (the pouch and oh the hips!). 

 

experienced mama's please tell me - am I being naive? Should I dish out some $$ for new clothing?

 

I do not need to look all professional but I also dont want look like I am barely fitting in my clothing = sloppy either.


Buy stuff that fits now.  I'm being serious.  You will feel much more comfortable and confident and you'll look better in stuff that fits.  Stacy and Clinton say it best -- you have to dress the body you have now.  Even if you plan on changing it (which we all do) you will be happier in clothes that fit.

 

AFM - I'm thinking of going back to work.  It's just rattling around in my brain, and it would only be a client or two here or there, but I want to keep up with you guys just in case.  So, hi!

 

post #49 of 165

Wow, I'm back to work!!! And this is Baby Number One and talk about more adjustments! Holy Crap!! :D

 

But, its good! I am guessing my two biggest issues are going to be 1)sleep deprivation and 2)pumping. I mean, how are we going to do a ten hour day of work/commuting/daycare pick-up on like no sleep. I don't know if there's enough coffee in the world. And pumping . . . it takes a lot of TIME. And I have yet to figure out how to do it with one hand so both my hands are busy and I can't multi-task at all for 15 minutes three or more times per day!!!

 

I like being back at work though. Its good for my sanity I think. And I love coming home to my sweet, sweet baby even more! We can do it!!!

post #50 of 165

Oh, and, thought I'd share with you ladies: I heard there was some study recently that said women who drink more than two cups of coffee are less likely to be depressed!! Yay!! Makes me feel a tiny bit better!

 

post #51 of 165
Quote:
Originally Posted by katiemaeeee View Post

Wow, I'm back to work!!! And this is Baby Number One and talk about more adjustments! Holy Crap!! :D

 

But, its good! I am guessing my two biggest issues are going to be 1)sleep deprivation and 2)pumping. I mean, how are we going to do a ten hour day of work/commuting/daycare pick-up on like no sleep. I don't know if there's enough coffee in the world. And pumping . . . it takes a lot of TIME. And I have yet to figure out how to do it with one hand so both my hands are busy and I can't multi-task at all for 15 minutes three or more times per day!!!

 

I like being back at work though. Its good for my sanity I think. And I love coming home to my sweet, sweet baby even more! We can do it!!!


I have a hands free pump, but obviously not all pumps are hands free.  There are, however, pumping bras out there.  Or, you can take an old sports bra, cut two holes, and it'll hold the flanges in place for you while you type, or do other paperwork.

 

 

post #52 of 165

elove- I agree with Carrie. Buy a few pieces that fit this body. I've only had to buy some shirts this time around, my ones that were larger from my last baby were coated in spit up stains. eyesroll.gif I've got one pair of jeans that fit and I can wear at work. I just keep washing them over and over again, but I'm not at work daily or else I'd spring on another pair or two. I'd say 2-3 pant and shirts that fit now, and hopefully we'll be able to wear other clothes soon! And truth be told, the body is never exactly the same again. I had to get well under my original pre-first child weight to be able to fit into the same size pants because my hips were never that small again. I gave up after the 2nd child and just stick with my original weight but now I have to be up one size. 

post #53 of 165

Congrats on going back to work! I'll be in your shoes next Monday, so tell me how it goes. :)

 

I just got my pumping bra in the mail and I LOVE it. I can totally sit back and relax while I pump, and I end up getting more milk. Here's the link if you want to check it out. You can get 15% off if you use TFBSAVE15 coupon code (from the feministbreeder.com). 

post #54 of 165
Quote:
Originally Posted by Baby_Cakes View Post

Buy stuff that fits now.  I'm being serious.  You will feel much more comfortable and confident and you'll look better in stuff that fits.  Stacy and Clinton say it best -- you have to dress the body you have now.  Even if you plan on changing it (which we all do) you will be happier in clothes that fit.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Peony View Post

elove- I agree with Carrie. Buy a few pieces that fit this body. I've only had to buy some shirts this time around, my ones that were larger from my last baby were coated in spit up stains. eyesroll.gif I've got one pair of jeans that fit and I can wear at work. I just keep washing them over and over again, but I'm not at work daily or else I'd spring on another pair or two. I'd say 2-3 pant and shirts that fit now, and hopefully we'll be able to wear other clothes soon! And truth be told, the body is never exactly the same again. I had to get well under my original pre-first child weight to be able to fit into the same size pants because my hips were never that small again. I gave up after the 2nd child and just stick with my original weight but now I have to be up one size. 


Good point ladies! I put away everything that does not fit comfortably. Had a friend of mine give me two pants that are higher size and there are two maternity  pants that I do like to wear and did not wear much while preggers so that should be a good start. Also decided to splurge for a nice longer sweater to layer things with - if that feels good, I will get another one. I give myself 2 months with this since our climate is mild we do not have very distinct winter/summer clothing. In two months if I am still here, than need to put more in to the inventory. 

 

post #55 of 165

SO, who else is back to work/school? How's it going for everybody?!! I'm guessing we're all just too busy . . . but I am dying to hear how its going for you all. I'm definitely having some struggles!!!

 

Most days I am feeling like a half-assed  employee/partner/Mom/housekeeper. I am constantly feeling behind in every aspect of my life and its so hard and like I'm not doing a good enough job at anything.

 

I'm learning though. I'm learning about needing to make priorities. Learning that I have to give up a lot of things. Trying to manage my time differently.

Its also been a struggle with my DP. Trying to divide the home-responsibilities evenly. Trying to validate his stress and have him validate my stress. Doing the daycare drop-off first thing in the morning is SO hard. I hate it. I cry every time. Its much easier to leave in the morning and go to work knowing DP is doing the drop-off.

 

And the pumping. Oh my goodness, the pumping!! It is SO challenging to find the time and the space. I keep saying I'll just do it for one more week. And, I'm doing it!! I am so damn proud. Caroline has not had one drop of formula yet. Even though I've wanted to give up on the pumping over and over. I don't have an office space to pump in. I work on the road going from house to house. On Friday I finally got the hands-free pumping bra I ordered and so I am honestly planning to pump while I drive from here on out!!! I'll just set it up before I leave and cover myself up. I'm gonna try for another week anyways.

 

(SIGH)

 

I did get a raise and promotion though. It won't be until the December 1st check, but still. Thank god. Because I'm telling you, its so damn frustrating to still be so damn broke!!

 

How are you all doing??

post #56 of 165

Katiemae, sorry to hear how tough it is for you to pump. I hope your hands free bra helps, I seriously LOVE mine. What is your daycare situation like? Around here, the only people who will take infants this young is private nannies/babysitters, the daycares have a 9-12month min age. But I wonder what they'd do with a baby like mine anyway, who cries unless he's sleeping or in someone's arms. 

 

AFM, tomorrow starts week 3 of me back at work. Right now I'm only working part time, so it's 3 mornings a week and then some work from home too. In 2 more weeks I'll go to working 4 full days a week. 

 

It's definitely been hard for us, although I'm thankful that DH is the one watching DS while I'm gone. The worst part so far has been that DS has had a VERY hard time taking the bottle. We tried about 5 different kinds and a million different methods, but what really works is for him to be completely starving and then he'll reluctantly take a couple ounces. Hopefully he'll get better by the time I'm working 8 hour days.  

 

I think DH thought he'd be able to get more of his school work done while home alone with DS, but he pretty much spends every moment staving off a crying fit - bouncing, singing, walking, using the sling, white noise, everything.  I know that DS is a high needs baby, but at least I get a break when we are nursing... and he'll nap with me. It just breaks my heart to know he's so hungry and stressed out, even though I know that DH is with him and is am amazing dad.  

 

DH's scholarship is running out in Feb (also when he graduates), so I don't know what we'll do then. Originally he said he'd just get whatever job he could find, until we realized how expensive childcare is. There's no way he's going to be stocking shelves at Target while we are paying $18/hr for a babysitter! Hopefully he'll get a good job in his field, since that's why we moved here for him to go back to school. 

 

I'm lucky that pumping has been going well for me. I have a private office and flexible schedule so it works well. The only problem is that I want to pump twice in my 5 hour shift because otherwise my boobs hurt. This ends up being around 5-8 oz. Then I get home to find DS only at 2 oz.  So the days I'm not working or pumping, I feel like I make too much milk, and I refuse to pump when I'm home! Oh supply and demand, how I hate you sometimes! 

 

Wow, I realize I just wrote a whole novel here! All my friends are either SAHMs or working women without kids or with grown kids, so there's not too many people to talk to IRL who understand. 

 

post #57 of 165

cat13 - I also don't have any friends in real life who are working moms with little ones and my Mom stayed home with me and my four little sisters so this is SO foreign to me! And doing schoolwork must be super challenging for your DH. I've been working at home some with DD and it can be SO challenging sometimes, and other times it is a piece of cake!

And, I can't imagine paying $18/hour for childcare. We pay $120 for three days a week and can barely afford it.

And, good luck with the bottle! Caroline finally decided she would take an Avent, with the slow-flow nipple. I know this is totally against all literature but what helped Caroline finally take a bottle was when I fed her. I know, I know, its so weird! But, whatever, it worked. I just talked with her and held her like I was nursing when she wasn't starving and talked with her while she tried the bottle and kept encouraging her to take it. Its so much different than the bewb and so I could really make it like breast-feeding, i.e. holding the bottle in spot and letting her pop off and on as much as she wanted and holding it sideways so the milk didn't come out so fast. I don't know but that's what worked for us!

 

I am loving the hands-free pumping bra and so glad I bought it. The shitty thing is you can totally see it through my regular clothes and it looks a bit funny. But there's no way I have time to change before and after each time I pump so I've been wearing lots of layers. I got the simple wishes one, what'd you get?

 

I am liking her childcare providers a lot. She's the only infant there right now and almost every single time I've been, including unannounced in the middle of the day, she's being held. I think she gets plenty of love and attention. And I mean, that's really what its all about, right?

 

I work 8 -5 and DP works 12 - 10 so I do dinner time by myself. And tonight I actually made dinner. Cooked some chicken in a fry pan and made a salad!!!! I am so proud, hahaha. I know its silly but its huge progress for me. Still have to do the dishes though . . . (Dinner was made possible by wearing her facing out in the infantino carrier we have. She loves it!!)

post #58 of 165

Hi Ladies,

 

Good to hear both of you are in the process of figuring things out..I am working on that as well. Some days end up looong but I keep telling myself this is temporary. If we can make it for our LO's 6 month bday before we do child care I will call this a success. After that she will be in day care IF they take us (too young for most still). My mother was going to come for the transition period but cancelled so we kinda got thrown into our current schedule. DH is trying to get some dissertation work done while taking care of the baby and i can tell there are good days and there are really challenging days. I do too have work that I should be doing while at home..but wait I stay home to take care of the baby and getting tired of people expecting me to get work done since I am home all day!!

dinners have been hit or miss,  I got us a dutch oven and usually making dinner means throwing bunch of stuf in there and cook it for a while. What has been really really bad is cleaning the house. There is no time, the minute I start something I need to get going since my priority is calling (aka DD). So I broke down and called a cleaning lady for 2 hours to clean the kitchen and the bathroom so we can function like civilized people. She charged $70 for 2 hrs of work. Sigh so it is not sustainable of a solution for us. We have been good at keeping it clean since than but not sure how this will be resolved. DH comes home at 8pm on Mondays, and the tuesdays and thursdays I work,  as soon as I come home we eat and he leaves for campus to TA until 10.30pm. So, it is not like i have bunch of nights we can take turns holding her to clean. DH also works on weekends so he can get his stuff done, we are booked solid.

 

All this to say, Katimae, I truly understand what you mean when you say "all is halfassed"..ditto for me. I have friends/coworkers who have kids 2 yrs and older. The difference is their spouses have decent jobs so $70 to the cleaning lady is doable.sigh.

post #59 of 165

I'm back to work.  So far it is working out and the pumping that I do every morning seems to be working out for a milk supply.  I'm not sure I really want to do this job anymore so I am sending new job vibes out into the universe.  I would like something a bit less emotionally stressful.  Jonas has been extra-extra clingy now that he has been spending time away from me, which I understand (also he has a cold), but it makes it even harder to get anything around the house done when I am home.  He's not really taking a bottle (only like 1/2 an ounce), but I'm not really gone long enough for it to matter much--especially since he has been nursing constantly-frequently when I am with him.

 

I think I am going to look into getting endorsed to teach preschool-kindergarten (actually pre-k through 3rd grade is what the endorsement would qualify me to teach) age kids.  That might be a good fit for me.  I am going to start volunteering with DD's preschool to see how I feel about being around a bunch of little people love.gif

post #60 of 165
Quote:

Originally Posted by katiemaeeee View Post

And, good luck with the bottle! Caroline finally decided she would take an Avent, with the slow-flow nipple. I know this is totally against all literature but what helped Caroline finally take a bottle was when I fed her. I know, I know, its so weird! But, whatever, it worked. I just talked with her and held her like I was nursing when she wasn't starving and talked with her while she tried the bottle and kept encouraging her to take it. Its so much different than the bewb and so I could really make it like breast-feeding, i.e. holding the bottle in spot and letting her pop off and on as much as she wanted and holding it sideways so the milk didn't come out so fast. I don't know but that's what worked for us!

 

I am loving the hands-free pumping bra and so glad I bought it. The shitty thing is you can totally see it through my regular clothes and it looks a bit funny. But there's no way I have time to change before and after each time I pump so I've been wearing lots of layers. I got the simple wishes one, what'd you get?

 

I am liking her childcare providers a lot. She's the only infant there right now and almost every single time I've been, including unannounced in the middle of the day, she's being held. I think she gets plenty of love and attention. And I mean, that's really what its all about, right?

 

Yesterday I came home to find that DS had taken 5 oz in the bottle! I was so happy! He was still fussy all morning with DH, but not the I'm-starving-why-don't-you-love-me kind of cries, just the normal fussies.

 

Have you tried just putting the hands-free bra on before you pump and take it off when you are done? I put mine on over my shirt, then pull the shirt out and skootch it up over my nursing bra. It only takes a minute to put on and even less time to take it off. I couldn't imagine wearing that thing all day, it's not very comfortable! ... OK, I just looked at the Simple Wishes website... can you wear it without the straps, like a tube top? I use Pumpease and really like it.

 

That's good to hear about your childcare provider. DH and I just had a 'big talk' last night about where we are going to be in the next 6-12 months and how much transition we will have. Right now we are going to make it work between the two of us, but it might change soon.

 



Quote:
Originally Posted by elove View Post

Hi Ladies,

 

Good to hear both of you are in the process of figuring things out..I am working on that as well. Some days end up looong but I keep telling myself this is temporary. If we can make it for our LO's 6 month bday before we do child care I will call this a success. After that she will be in day care IF they take us (too young for most still). My mother was going to come for the transition period but cancelled so we kinda got thrown into our current schedule. DH is trying to get some dissertation work done while taking care of the baby and i can tell there are good days and there are really challenging days. I do too have work that I should be doing while at home..but wait I stay home to take care of the baby and getting tired of people expecting me to get work done since I am home all day!!

dinners have been hit or miss,  I got us a dutch oven and usually making dinner means throwing bunch of stuf in there and cook it for a while. What has been really really bad is cleaning the house. There is no time, the minute I start something I need to get going since my priority is calling (aka DD). So I broke down and called a cleaning lady for 2 hours to clean the kitchen and the bathroom so we can function like civilized people. She charged $70 for 2 hrs of work. Sigh so it is not sustainable of a solution for us. We have been good at keeping it clean since than but not sure how this will be resolved. DH comes home at 8pm on Mondays, and the tuesdays and thursdays I work,  as soon as I come home we eat and he leaves for campus to TA until 10.30pm. So, it is not like i have bunch of nights we can take turns holding her to clean. DH also works on weekends so he can get his stuff done, we are booked solid.

 

All this to say, Katimae, I truly understand what you mean when you say "all is halfassed"..ditto for me. I have friends/coworkers who have kids 2 yrs and older. The difference is their spouses have decent jobs so $70 to the cleaning lady is doable.sigh.

 

Sorry to hear that your mom couldn't come help out. We don't have family nearby either (although they wouldn't be any help even if they were around), so I understand. For housecleaning, have you tried posting an ad on Craigslist? If all you need is some extra clean up around the house, I imagine that you could find someone a lot cheaper. Good luck!

 

Quote:

Originally Posted by earth-mama View Post

I'm back to work.  So far it is working out and the pumping that I do every morning seems to be working out for a milk supply.  I'm not sure I really want to do this job anymore so I am sending new job vibes out into the universe.  I would like something a bit less emotionally stressful.  Jonas has been extra-extra clingy now that he has been spending time away from me, which I understand (also he has a cold), but it makes it even harder to get anything around the house done when I am home.  He's not really taking a bottle (only like 1/2 an ounce), but I'm not really gone long enough for it to matter much--especially since he has been nursing constantly-frequently when I am with him.

 

I think I am going to look into getting endorsed to teach preschool-kindergarten (actually pre-k through 3rd grade is what the endorsement would qualify me to teach) age kids.  That might be a good fit for me.  I am going to start volunteering with DD's preschool to see how I feel about being around a bunch of little people love.gif

 

I'm glad that pumping is going well for you!  DS is still only reluctantly taking the bottle, but it seemed like he had to get really hungry for it to work. Good luck!
 

 

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