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On going back to work/school - Page 4

post #61 of 165

Hi working ladies. Just thought I'd share this thread with you that I posted in the Breastfeeding forum, because I had some questions about the best system for using my pumped milk. Hope it helps!

post #62 of 165

I'm going to be going back to work soon. Not very much, really, but enough to help with bills! We're both far to spoiled to want to have to count pennies. I need to talk to Dusty about it more, but I can sublet a friend's office two days a week for $200/month (standard here is $100/mth for each day of the week you get it). I only plan to do two massages a day to start. Still, $75x4x4.3=1290. A thousand extra a month is a fabulous thing! Plus! I get to leave the house! I haven't been away from him more than an hour since he was born - and that was only him sleeping in the other room, I've never left him before.

I can do two appointments a day making sure I have at least two hours between so I can run home and feed him. We have some milk pumped, so if he's starving he can have some of that. Seems reasonable!

post #63 of 165
Quote:
Originally Posted by Beckily View Post

I'm going to be going back to work soon. Not very much, really, but enough to help with bills! We're both far to spoiled to want to have to count pennies. I need to talk to Dusty about it more, but I can sublet a friend's office two days a week for $200/month (standard here is $100/mth for each day of the week you get it). I only plan to do two massages a day to start. Still, $75x4x4.3=1290. A thousand extra a month is a fabulous thing! Plus! I get to leave the house! I haven't been away from him more than an hour since he was born - and that was only him sleeping in the other room, I've never left him before.

I can do two appointments a day making sure I have at least two hours between so I can run home and feed him. We have some milk pumped, so if he's starving he can have some of that. Seems reasonable!


If you are only gone for 2 hours at a time, I think it's fine for him to just wait for you to come home and nurse.  I assume that during that time you won't be able to pump because you'll be with clients the whole time, right? Because if he took a freezer stash bottle every time, his input of milk would be more than your output for the day, which is fine every once in a while, but not a good choice for long-term.

 

How great that you have a trade like massage where you really love what you do for work, have flexibility and make good money!

 

post #64 of 165
Quote:
Originally Posted by cat13 View Post


If you are only gone for 2 hours at a time, I think it's fine for him to just wait for you to come home and nurse.  I assume that during that time you won't be able to pump because you'll be with clients the whole time, right? Because if he took a freezer stash bottle every time, his input of milk would be more than your output for the day, which is fine every once in a while, but not a good choice for long-term.

 

How great that you have a trade like massage where you really love what you do for work, have flexibility and make good money!

 


Right! I figured he'd be okay, but he's entered a NursingConstantly stage so yeehaw.

 

And yes, I very much appreciate my trade! And Dusty's! Our schedules are perfect for earning while seemingly both staying home with the baby :)

 

Thank you!

 

post #65 of 165
I'm starting work (teaching) again in a week, and this week I have to go in and prepare my plans. Last week, hubby and I practiced the pumping/bottle feeding schedule with DD, and she was really sad about it. It was so hard to see! And I'm sitting here tonight crying and my heart is breaking a bit, because I just don't want to go! mecry.gif These past almost-four-months have been some of the happiest of my life, and I'm not looking forward to the stress of my job, the report cards I'll soon have to write on weekends, and the time away from my little girl and my DH. Ugh. I'm so jealous of moms who can stay home with their kids and be responsible for housekeeping, etc. Is anybody else feeling this way? This is so hard!!!
post #66 of 165

Tear - YES! I so know what you mean. It is SO hard. There are moments where I literally think that I can't do it and I want to give up and run home to get the baby. I have no advice. Except that somehow, one day at a time, I'm back at work. It turns out I'm pretty lucky and my job isn't that bad - I mean its sorta rewarding and I think that helps. And when I see DD when I come home from work I fall in love with her all over again. And we're getting through. I try so hard to be present when I am with her. Like really present. And I enjoy every moment that much more now that I am back to work. One day at a time you can do it too.

 

HUGS!

post #67 of 165
Thread Starter 

Ugh, I totally get it and I still have 2 months home with DD.  I'm taking out all of my anxiety on potential nannies (see other posts that are spackled all across the group, lol).  This is just so hard-- leaving the little ones!

 

Good luck Tear, Katie is right-- its all about the time you spend when you ARE together.  Being present.  Really present.  Something I work on all the time (the computer is my weakness)...I try to just check in with email, MDC, etc. once in the am, and once in the evening, and be present with the kiddos everywhere in between.  Its hard, but I'm getting better at it. ;)  

 

One day at a time...

post #68 of 165

Tear, I could have written the same thing as you and also Katie Mae's post. It's going to be hard, but you know what? In the end, Anika is going to be fine and you with all find your groove.  I'll be thinking about you next week! hug2.gif

post #69 of 165

I'll be going back to work the first week of January, so I still have a few weeks at home with my boys. Even still, every time I think about going back to work my anxiety level shoots through the roof. I had the luxury or working from home until ds1 was 17.5mo and I still had major issues returning to the office when I had to go back. I really don't know how I'm going to handle leaving ds2 at just 5mo. It makes me sick just thinking about it. But, unfortunately, we rely heavily on at least 50% of my income, so staying home is not an option. And my employer wont let me do half time hours anymore.  I am going to request to only work 32 hrs when I do return so I only have to be gone 4 days/wk. If that gets approved, I hope to be off on Wednesdays so I'm only pumping for two days at a time. 

 

Cat: thanks for sharing that pumping/bottle thread. I didn't have a clue how to handle my freezer stash and that really helped me out. 

 

Hugs to everyone going back soon. Just take it one day (hour?) at a time!

post #70 of 165

I'm going back to work in three weeks.  I'll only be working two days per and DH will be caring for Maisie while I'm gone.  Although I feel blessed that I'll get to be home with her for five whole days a week, I'm still sad about leaving her.  I'm also worried about how DH is going to handle things.  I've been doing most of the childcare since she was born as DH had to go back to work right away.  Any  advice on how to prep DH for two days of solo full-time parenting?  Part of me feels like I should be leaving more, so he gets practice and she gets used to him caring for her, but part of me wants to squeeze every last minute out of the time I have left as well.

 

post #71 of 165

May, I'm right there with you... except about 4 weeks ago for us. The best advice I can give you to prep your DH is to just let him fly on his own and as long as DC is well fed and cared for (which will totally happen!), just be completely supportive. I had to stop myself from saying things like, "well I ususally..." or "you should just try xyz to calm him", etc. When you come home, just be totally supportive and let him own that time alone with his baby.  As much as it's been so hard to go back to work and I'd do anything to be a SAHM right now, I have to say that it's been so beautiful to watch how much River and my DH have bonded because of all their solo time together! 

 

post #72 of 165

I am right there w cat13 on preping DH before you leave. All I did was making sure he read the info as to how to bottle feed a breasfeeding baby an let it go.oh and i posted "how to store human milk" table on the fridge for a reference. The first day they spent, i came back to find him eyes wide open....he said it has been an eye opening experience! Now we are at a point where we compare notes as to how we calm DD down, put her to sleep etc. Give him a chance to find his own way, and support him through it. 

 

it is hard. leaving the house the very first day broke my heart to pieces and it still hurts...it has been more than a month. But you will make it work!

we depend 80% on my salary (DH is in grad school) and DD is under my insurance so for me, working is part of my parenting (as sad as this sounds)

 

while i am at work, he sends me a pic of her on my phone or email. that helps a lot!

as PPs said, it is also wonderful to see them bond, get their own groove. Soon, in january, we will have to find a daycare/babysitter situation since i need to increase my hours per my job's demands...and i know that will be harder. So, having your partner taking care of you LO is a wonderful thing.

 

AFM- i have a question, do you all keep adding to you freezer stashes? or do you stop when you reach a certain point?

 

how is everyone  else doing w pumping while at work? Katie?

post #73 of 165

elove, I was wondering the same thing about freezer stashes. I don't purposely add to mine anymore, but I pump more than River eats while I'm at work. Lately I've been gone for 5 1/2 hours (going to be 8 1/2 hours next week) and I HAVE to pump twice or else I am just going to burst at work. In those two sessions, I usually get 7-10 oz, and when I get home I find that River only ate 5-6 oz, so I always have extra. I don't want to pump for less time (I go about 15 minutes right now) because I want him to have a good amount of fat in the milk. But since he hates the bottle so much, he only eats a little bit, and just eats extra when I get home. And then I feel super full on days I don't work, because I refuse to pump on those days. I guess it's not really a bad problem to have. If I'm still having surplus after I go back to work full time, I might look into donating a little bit locally. 

 

As for using your stash, did you see the link I posted above? I got some great advice from the ladies in the BFing forum about the "Monday-Friday" type system for freezing/using fresh milk. Here's the link again. 

post #74 of 165

Hi Cat13, I think that will work for me once I start working 5 days a week. Right now, I am on a weird schedule of tuesday, thursday and Friday. So trying not to pump in  my off days, but it is HARD.

 

while at home if I dont pump;

- I get engorged, resulting in her almost choking as she starts eating (esp early morning)

- this resulted in some big spits

 

so to prevent this, if i feel like she has not finished things off I try to pump enough to prevent over filling the chugs. I started piling these off in bags, once it gets to a full bag, I will either freeze it or put it in the feeding pile in the fridge.

 

at work, if I pump only twice:

- i come home really full ensuing the choking, spitting spell

 

so now trying to pump three times. When you say 7-10 oz, is that one pump or two combined? That is how much I get total through the day (I come home consistently with 10ish oz) but I also pump before I leave in the morning since DD is sleeping and I want her to have fresh milk in the morning and have some "morning milk" from me, if that makes sense. 

 

I stopped pumping specifically for the stash, but i put in a 5oz bag in twice a week or so.

 

What do you guys do with the leftover milk in the bottle?

 

post #75 of 165

I do get engorged on my days off b/c I don't pump, but fortunately not bad enough to cause plugged ducts or problems for River with eating, just uncomfortable. I have been getting 7-10oz from 2 pumping sessions. I nurse River right when we wake up (he's a morning person, don't know where that came from), again right before I leave the house, then I pump right when I get to work while I'm checking emails and voicemail.  Then I pump again a few hours later. Next week I'm going from 5 hour days to 8 hour days, so I guess I'll add one more pump session in. 

 

Milk in the bottle is a tough thing. DH will re-heat a bottle one time if it's still early in the day (kellymom said this is ok), but it sucks when there is leftover milk when I come home. I don't want to re-use that bottle the next day (or 2 days later, depending on my work schedule), so it often gets dumped. But he's only been heating up 2oz at a time, so usually it's not too much wasted. And now that they are getting a good routine together, it doesn't happen as often.

 

I also hate when I de-frost too much milk for Monday. Kellymom says defrosted milk is good in the fridge for 24 hours, so I feel like I can't use it the next day too. Oh well, I am thankful that producing milk isn't a problem for me. 

post #76 of 165

Wow guys, even though I am so sad we all are going back to work I am so happy to see this thread is growing!

 

Cat13, thanks so much for that link on freezing pumped milk, I read it last week and started doing it that way, I just never had time to post!!! I WAS freezing it all, but the next day milk makes SO much more sense.

 

For me, I encourage DD's caregivers (Mother/Daughter daycare) to feed her as much as she wants to eat. There was about a week after I started working that I was afraid I wasn't going to make enough milk, but I took some fenugreek and now I am pumping more than she eats every day. The daycare people have been open for 25 years, and I trust their judgment. I want Caroline to be happy and full with whoever she is with. She is about twelve weeks and in an eight hour spell she is eating about 12 oz. (sometimes 10, sometimes 18).

 

DD has her first cold though. She must have got it from the daycare. :( Makes me feel a tiny bit guilty, but she is such a tough little pumpkin about it and isn't even fussing, so I figure it'll make her stronger.

 

So, I've gotta confess that I have this totally irrational fear. Its ridiculous. But, I am SO afraid that Caroline will cry inconsolably when she is being babysat by the Daycare, DP, my Mom even, and that whoever is watching her will become so frustrated by her crying that they will shake her. Its SO ridiculous because I know very well the people that are caring for her and they would never do that. The only time Caroline has ever cried inconsolably is after she got shots (antibiotics in the hospital) and when my milk came in and I was so engorged we couldn't get a latch (until I figured it out and pumped some off and we ended up using the nipple shield the first six weeks anyways). But, still, sometimes I get absolutely terrified about this and I obsess like a crazy person!!! I actually remember when I was three and my little sister was one and we were with babysitters for the first time and my little sister was crying and then I started crying because I was so afraid that the babysitter wouldn't be able to take the crying and would shoot my little sister - It is SUCH a ridiculous little nightmare, and I know that it is but still it haunts me sometimes when I am in the middle of my workday. Sometimes I even call whoever has her and pretend to be asking about something else just to make sure she isn't crying.

 

Also, I totally agree with what you all have said about your DP/DH's watching your little ones. It is SO precious. I had to learn a lot about DD through trial and error. And I trust DP and DD enough to watch them go through the same process, and it is beautiful!! :D

 

DD is all cuddled up with me and nursing right now and it is just the most amazing thing, I could cry. She has so much hair. And she is so warm and sweet. Sometimes I'll talk to her and she'll look up and smile and lose her latch and then I laugh and we both lose track of what we're doing. Oh my goodness. She's so amazing. I am so lucky. Karen, the daycare lady told my DP last week that Caroline is the easiest baby she's ever had. (in 25 years). I am such a proud (and lucky) Mama. And, even though 40 hours a week I am away from her, I know she is loved by her caretakers. And that's what's important, right?

 

Good luck Mamas!!

 

 

post #77 of 165

Katie Mae, what awesome day care workers you have!!!! 

post #78 of 165
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by katiemaeeee View Post

 

So, I've gotta confess that I have this totally irrational fear. Its ridiculous. But, I am SO afraid that Caroline will cry inconsolably when she is being babysat by the Daycare, DP, my Mom even, and that whoever is watching her will become so frustrated by her crying that they will shake her. Its SO ridiculous because I know very well the people that are caring for her and they would never do that. The only time Caroline has ever cried inconsolably is after she got shots (antibiotics in the hospital) and when my milk came in and I was so engorged we couldn't get a latch (until I figured it out and pumped some off and we ended up using the nipple shield the first six weeks anyways). But, still, sometimes I get absolutely terrified about this and I obsess like a crazy person!!! I actually remember when I was three and my little sister was one and we were with babysitters for the first time and my little sister was crying and then I started crying because I was so afraid that the babysitter wouldn't be able to take the crying and would shoot my little sister - It is SUCH a ridiculous little nightmare, and I know that it is but still it haunts me sometimes when I am in the middle of my workday. Sometimes I even call whoever has her and pretend to be asking about something else just to make sure she isn't crying.

 

 

 

I'm so glad to hear I'm not the only one!  I'm thinking of installing nanny cams...is that unreasonable? lol...

 

I started pumping once a day in September, and now I'm thinking that might have been premature? I haven't any room for regular food!  packed to the brim with milk!

 

The nanny I'm interviewing on Thurs wants $17 per hour.  does anyone know if this is reasonable pay? (East coast, mid atlantic area).  if so, makes me wonder why i'm bothering to go to nursing school.. should just be a nanny! fingers crossed i can get good student loans to cover her salary.  more fingers crossed that she is awesome and i need look no further.
 

 

post #79 of 165

Cakemama, $17 is a little steep for westcoast, bay area - not sure how it compares to the rates in Mid Atlantic. I would ask around if I were you. But if you like her, and it is doable, I would go for it since the ease of mind is priceless!

 

Katie Mae, I read something on a blog something about what happened to a little 4 year old girl and NOT a day care situation but more like while in the comfort of around the home. The blog was not related to it, just a comment someone made mentioned it. And literally lost sleep over it. It is in the back of my mind 24/7...to a point I thought of calling my midwife to ask if this is normal behavior or sign of something else. So, i think we are all overly protective with the new precious souls in our lives. Having a daycare/caretaker accident is common on the worry list. No wisdom here, just commiserating. But your day care people sound lovely! Also they have not given you any reason to think negatively so take a deep breath and enjoy having found the perfect set up for your LO.

 

I LOVE pumping in the morning.....having little bottles filled so early makes me feel very productive and the day is just beginning :-)

 

hope all you are having a wonderful day!

 

post #80 of 165

We are supposed to pay 12.50 an hour but it is more like 15. She is salary and I always feel bad because part of the arrangement is fewer day, long hours so I end up letting her go early on some days or letting her go home for a break in the middle of the day because she works really hard for us and does more then a typical nanny. Anyway, it has always been a huge challenge to find someone that would sit for 10-15 an hour, quite a few want 15-20. And sadly as it, because I work a non-regular nursing job, I don't make that much more then my nanny does. The more I pay, the more professional of a person I get, less sick days, less being a flake. I hear about people who pay almost nothing for childcare and always wonder where in the heck do they live because I am even in rural SW and it is not cheap!  I'm just speaking about someone that is in your house, not a center. I've never used one because my needs are greater then just watch one kid for a set number of hours a week. My friends that have their children in a daycare center tell me they pay 1K a month for part time care with a low income discount locally. 

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