My mil mentioned I should just have our second baby already, then my kids can play together. DD gave up napping awhile ago. She naps a few times a week only (otherwise cat naps for 10-20 minutes.) DD is 9 months but is walking almost full time and would basically be considered a toddler in every way.
I know we want a second one, but I'm wondering what the ideal spacing is.
Here are my two thoughts.
1.) I don't want to shortchange DD. I want to bf until she is at least 2. I feel like I should invest as much time as I can in her since my 2nd one will get less time just because they are 2nd. I also want to be able to enjoy my next newborn and rush things.
2.)That is way too idealistic^. The pregnancy, birth and recovery really sucked for me with DD. I bled for 3 months and we didn't dtd for 3.5. I had some minor POP, too and I'm afraid it'll be worse with the second. The first 6 months were HARD with DD. She had colic and required being carried 24/7. She didn't like being on her back. Even if my next baby is easy, it isn't going to be some idyllic scene where I lay in bed gazing at my newborn and DH plays happily in the playroom with DD. I've really enjoyed so many parts of this past 9 months, but it was also very hard. So recognizing this makes me feel like "getting it over with" so I can enjoy the baby years, but not drag them out for 8 years. I feel guilty saying that, though. ;-\ I also want to be done with pregnancy and recovery so I can "get my body back". I just feel really down when I contemplate getting thin again and then gaining so much weight again. Staying in shape isn't easy for me and I gained way too much last pregnancy.
I don't know if we want 2 or 3, either.
Advice / experiences?