Newish first serious boyfriend since her dad... sad daughter... help!
I don't really have any advice, except maybe these things take time and how much time is to be determined. I was very impressed by your post. It just sounds to me like you are doing everything right, and I think it's a good sign that you see your daughter trying to adjust to this...she understands it is important to you and ultimately to her, and yet it is going to take some time for her emotions to catch up, maybe? The only other thing I could think of would be to maybe have your daughter talk to a counseler...maybe having a third party to work out her emotions with would be helpful. Otherwise hang in there and again, good job on the thought and care you put into this process
Thanks Hazeldust... the props mean a lot. Lately I've been more easily frustrated with her jealousy... and am not always being such a good mom in my reactions when she whines, asks for tons of attention, etc. Can her dad just get his ass home NOW so I can go out, have 3 beer, listen to live music and get laid already!!! Then, I can be patient again!
You're welcome and you deserve it:-)...sometimes it's the most difficult thing to just wait it out. I don't know about you but i get very anxious when my kids are unhappy, and for extended periods it's even worse! I feel like I should be able to fix things, to make them happy but it just doesn't work that way. I like your rant, lol! Sounds like a perfectly reasonable request!!
My split is too new for this to be an issue for me, but it sounds to me like you are doing everything right and thinking through all the issues carefully. I too have nine year old and she is taking the split much harder than her younger brother -- it is a tough emotional age in terms of attachment to her dad, and we are in a different state so the separation has been increasingly hard on her.
Keep being gentle with yourself, her...and taking good care of yourself...
I think it sounds like you are doing things right too.
My dd is very young and I have never introduced a man as a boyfriend; only friends (which I expose her to both male and female friends anyways).
The closest thing I came in contact with in this situation is when we got a new dog and dd was jealous of the new dog because we had to do a lot to take care of him. We had other dogs previously but they were already there when she was born so she was never jealous of them. I just talked with her about it and eventually she overcame the jealousy.