My DH has a drug/alcohol problem. He also works for a company that makes him travel and only come home every other weekend. He told me two weeks ago that he's having an affair and wants a divorce. He hoped I'd say, "how dare you!" and move out with our DS, 2yo. However, I am also 30 wks pg, and said, I can't move out, I have nowhere to go, and I think our marriage is worth working on and saving, so I'm sticking this out. He said he would continue supporting us, because he didn't want us to go to a shelter.
Since then, he's still seeing the other woman, when he's in town (which has only been one weekend), but goes from being a caring father/husband to abandoning us.
Currently, he has overdrafted our bank account (so there will be no check this week, because it will just bring the account to $0), skipped work most of the week, (so there will be no check next week), and left his job/hotel today (I found out from a coworker sharing his hotel room tonight) and has been in town all day, presumably with the girlfriend, and won't answer the phone.
I don't know how I'll get the bills paid. I don't know how to keep trying to be married. I am not coping well with this, and have been in the hospital twice in the last week with contractions, I go through periods of uncontrollable crying, am having nosebleeds, and nightmares that I wake up crying out in the night from. My friends are doing the best they can, but aren't really supportive, because they have no idea how to be. I have no family to help us financially. The family I do have can talk on the phone to me, but they don't provide emotional support, either. THey just reiterate what horror stories they have from men not being their for their kids after a divorce, and insist they have always thought DH had a "screw loose." Which just makes me feel worse. My church hasn't been helpful. They sent me to a counselor, who said I need marriage counseling. When I asked her how to cope with the stress to prevent contractions, etc. she said I should try to turn negative thoughts into positive ones. That won't help me when my nose is bleeding, or when I'm unable to sleep at night.
I'm lost, scared and alone. DS's behavior is out the window, and I just don't have it in me to be the best mama I can be right now, which makes me feel awful.