Originally Posted by Dandelionkid
I don't agree with the standards in the first place which may be a problem. My philosophy of learning is more individualized. To compare my child in a negative way to peers is not helpful to the process imo. Each kid learns at a different pace and in different ways. I was really hoping Montessori would understand this- hopefully it does!
I agree with the previous poster who said that this wasn't a negative statement by the teacher, but simply a statement of fact. One of my kids has special needs, when I talk to teachers about her, none of us are saying negative things, but we need to speak frankly about her strengths and weakness so that we can help her reach her potential.
I've read Holt, we started out as unschoolers, and my kids now attend a school based on progressive educational ideas. However, a child being seriously behind where most kids there age are is a sign -- either that the child hasn't received the appropriate instruction, or that something is going on with the child. The teacher was starting a dialogue with you because it is her job to sort that out -- if your child simply needs instruction that she hasn't received (and if so, what exactly, because your DD is not on the instructional level of most 2nd graders) or if something else is going on -- such as a vision problem, a fine motor problem, an LD, etc.
Ignoring milestones and how children compare to their peers can mask special needs, and that can be VERY detrimental to a child who needs MORE instruction, not less.
Also, your DD will quickly realize that she doesn't read as a well as many of her classmates, or write as neatly or as quickly. She may find that very motivating and work to catch up. But this isn't going to be a secret from her.