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Parenting Older Kiddos and Our Babies Support Thread - Page 5

post #81 of 83
Thread Starter 

It's funny you say that, b/c DD and I have very similar personalities.  Sometimes it's like looking in a mirror! She tantrums the way I tantrumed all my life (and still do occasionally, lol).  I taught her to call me out when I'm being mean. She hasn't done it yet, but I've been trying harder not to be mean.  I do tell her often that even mommies make mistakes and I'm not always right, and I can get grumpy too.  I think that helps.

post #82 of 83
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Originally Posted by Baby_Cakes View Post



Thanks for this, I mean it.  I appreciate it!  I'm feeling a bit awful about my relationship with DD, so I'm looking at this as a positive thing.  89% of the time, she and I are besties.  And then something happens and I totally lose my cool, go apeshit, and then feel like a monster afterwards.  I need to learn self control.  She is going to have trust issues if one minute we are fine and the next I'm screaming.  You know?

What's interesting is that I need to learn it in all areas.  In my marriage, in driving (serious road rager, here), in public situations (I will rudely tell people to MOVE when they're in my way, and I don't back down if they start with me), etc.  I have to find more self control EVERYWHERE to be the person, and mama, I want to be.  Ukwim?


I could have written this!!!  It's been the theme in my worried mind lately.  The other day I was trying SOOOOO hard to stay patient with DD and suddenly something SNAPPED in my brain and i screamed- really SCREAMED- "WHAT?!?!!?!!?!?!??!??!?!?"- she cried (of course - who wouldnt???) and said "mommy, you're scaring me"  -I felt AWFUL.   But i so feel at my limit these days- sleep deprivation plus caring for a fussy baby all day do make for patient mommies.   EVERY mom i talk to can relate- you are NOT alone and the fact that you care enough to want to change is a lot.  (At least I hope so in my case!!!)

 

post #83 of 83
Quote:
Originally Posted by Baby_Cakes View Post

It's funny you say that, b/c DD and I have very similar personalities.  Sometimes it's like looking in a mirror! She tantrums the way I tantrumed all my life (and still do occasionally, lol).  I taught her to call me out when I'm being mean. She hasn't done it yet, but I've been trying harder not to be mean.  I do tell her often that even mommies make mistakes and I'm not always right, and I can get grumpy too.  I think that helps.



my DD would say "Mommy, Im just doing what YOU do" when id tell her not to tantrum - smart, too very smart....eye-opener for me.

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