Thinking about telling a lie to my midwife....

[itsybistyspider]

HI. Living abroad- thinking of having a midwife attend homebirth here. Last pregnancy was 100%perfect no problems, easy fast labor ect. 

The system here will prevent you from birthing at home past 41.5 weeks. MAJOR pressure is put on you induce when you go past your due date. I had 2 friends end up with  c-sections after planned homebirths  this summer due to failed inductions for being over the due date....

I feel 100% ok with letting my body go into labor, when ever that comes.

I am thinking about telling my midwife at the first prenatal that my LMP was 2 weeks after it actually was. that way I buy myself an extra 2 weeks at the later end of the pregnancy. I dont plan on having any ultrasounds, so I am hoping I will be able to get away with this........

wrong or protecting my own interests? 

COuld I still get away with it if I have a 20~ week US to check placenta placement? 

[IwannaBanRN]

I would try to play it safe without ultrasound. It's sad that you can't homebirth past 41 weeks. That's STUPID! You're protecting what you feel is right for you and your baby by lying. It's not wrong if YOU feel it's in both of your best interests.

[ameliabedelia]

The lie could work against you if you happen to go early.  I don't know about the laws in your area, but I'm guessing that if "the system" won't let you homebirth past 41.5 weeks, it probably also won't let you homebirth before X weeks (probably between 36-38).  So, if you were to go into labor at 38 weeks, but they midwife thought you were only 36 weeks that could also keep you from having a homebirth.

IMO, it would best and safest to tell the truth.

[MidwifeErika]

What if you lie about your dates and then go into labor at 37 weeks and now your midwife thinks you are having a premature baby?

I do not condone lying to your care provider. You are asking her to take on a lot of responsibility with your care and she deserves to have all the most accurate information possible to make sure she gives the best care possible. This goes for midwives, OBs, family practice, etc. I totally understand the WANT to do so, but I would strongly recommend against it.

[scottishmommy]

Are your cycles particularly long? I Think it would be fine to adjust for date of ovulation. If your cycles are 32 days for instance, you could say you menstruated 4 days later than you did. But, honestly, two weeks is a pretty big difference. Did you go late with your first?

[BubbleMa]

Originally Posted by ameliabedelia 

The lie could work against you if you happen to go early.  I don't know about the laws in your area, but I'm guessing that if "the system" won't let you homebirth past 41.5 weeks, it probably also won't let you homebirth before X weeks (probably between 36-38).  So, if you were to go into labor at 38 weeks, but they midwife thought you were only 36 weeks that could also keep you from having a homebirth.

IMO, it would best and safest to tell the truth.

This.  It's best to be honest, and if you end up still pregnant at 40 weeks you can look into ways to get labor started. 

[Baby_Cakes]

I wouldn't risk it, personally.

[Sasha's Mama]

I would adjust my LMP date if I knew when ovulation happened. I have 35-45 day cycles and no matter how many times I tell this to my HCPs they want to calculate my due date from the start of my cycle, then get all freaked out when I'm measuring small, and I have to explain it all over again. So frustrating.

[woodensandals]

I wouldn't do it - there are always more natural ways to "Induce" as you get closer to 40 weeks.

In my general life experience I have realized that any time I try to do something just a little bit sneaky or wrong that everyone else does all the time it comes back to bite me. I call it the Costanza rule. You try to save a little money on envelopes and you end up poisoning your fiancee.

[phathui5]

I might adjust it by that half a week so that you know that you're giving yourself 'till 42 weeks.

[AbbieB]

Originally Posted by Sasha's Mama 

I would adjust my LMP date if I knew when ovulation happened. I have 35-45 day cycles and no matter how many times I tell this to my HCPs they want to calculate my due date from the start of my cycle, then get all freaked out when I'm measuring small, and I have to explain it all over again. So frustrating.

If you know when you ovulated, I would "lie" by giving them a LMP date 2 weeks prior. I had a long cycle this time, so I'm just giving my ovulation date and dating back 2 weeks if that date won't work.

I've been calling around interviewing practices and being "qualified" over the phone and no one seems to want to believe my ovulation date and several practices insisted I was further along no matter how much explaining I did (I have an exact ovulation date, and an implantation date, 3 daily negative tests before a positive all of which fits the exact pattern with my other 2 pregnancies plus I only had sex 2 times, 2 nights in a row, in the last 6 months, a week and a half AFTER the little wheel says I got pregnant so... I know my dates are right.) I use this issue to help me rule out providers, if they won't listen to me know they won't listen to me later.

I wised up and gave the nurse who did my proof of pregnancy form for insurance my revised LMP date so I have a paper trail with the right date.

As far as worrying about post date issues, I'll share my situation.

My first baby was 43 weeks.

My second baby came 3 days after his EDD. But he has Ds and babies with Ds often come 2 weeks early.

I expect this one to be late too. I'll be thrilled if he/she does not though!

There is family history on my mother's side of 42+ week babies (grandmother's 2 kids, my mother's 2 kids, and my aunt's 2 kids were all post date babies.). I have had all of the non standard labor/delivery issues my grandmother had. (Post dates, looooong labor, water broken for 1 week before labor, labor beginning in start/stop pattern for days before really getting going) basically all of the things that lead to a c-section now. My sister and maternal cousin had babies last year and went post dates, water broke with no labor, then they had their labors kick started with pitocen and ended up with c-sections for failure to progress. So for me, I feel good being watchful and monitoring closely, but waiting.

I had to birth in a situation where anything after 41 weeks was a cut off, I'd be really tempted to pad my ovulation date a week.

I'm planning a home birth in a situation where there is no pressure but if I end up needing a non emergency hospital birth I would just not show up for an induction simply for post dates unless the baby was showing signs of distress (an ultra sound with "low amniotic fluid" would not be enough for me since this has not been proven accurate.)

I should add that if when the time comes my intuition was feeling like something was wrong, I'd listen to it and not wait and see. As much as labor and pregnancy intuition get mocked, I do believe mothers often know if something is wrong long before the wrong shows up on a test.

[jenrose]

I'll lie about LMP happily if I know when I ovulated and that it was later than LMP would indicate. I think it's more important for the caregiver to have accurate information about when conception occurred than when I last bled. 

When did your last baby come?

[Mommel]

Originally Posted by AbbieB 

If you know when you ovulated, I would "lie" by giving them a LMP date 2 weeks prior. I had a long cycle this time, so I'm just giving my ovulation date and dating back 2 weeks if that date won't work.

I've been calling around interviewing practices and being "qualified" over the phone and no one seems to want to believe my ovulation date and several practices insisted I was further along no matter how much explaining I did (I have an exact ovulation date, and an implantation date, 3 daily negative tests before a positive all of which fits the exact pattern with my other 2 pregnancies plus I only had sex 2 times, 2 nights in a row, in the last 6 months, a week and a half AFTER the little wheel says I got pregnant so... I know my dates are right.) I use this issue to help me rule out providers, if they won't listen to me know they won't listen to me later.

I wised up and gave the nurse who did my proof of pregnancy form for insurance my revised LMP date so I have a paper trail with the right date.

I had to birth in a situation where anything after 41 weeks was a cut off, I'd be really tempted to pad my ovulation date a week.

I'm planning a home birth in a situation where there is no pressure but if I end up needing a non emergency hospital birth I would just not show up for an induction simply for post dates unless the baby was showing signs of distress (an ultra sound with "low amniotic fluid" would not be enough for me since this has not been proven accurate.)

I should add that if when the time comes my intuition was feeling like something was wrong, I'd listen to it and not wait and see. As much as labor and pregnancy intuition get mocked, I do believe mothers often know if something is wrong long before the wrong shows up on a test.

Then again, it's important to remember the fact that if you DO go early you'll have a "preemie" situation to deal with that may not be accurate either.

There is still major pressure here too, but I was lucky to have a care provider that not only listened to my intuition about my O date, but also listened to me when I told her no the first time to BPP, twice weekly ultrasounds, and any induction methods beyond the old wives tales (walking, sex, spicy food, etc.). If I had chosen a care provider who went with my LMP (August 29th), I would have been 29 days past due (44+1 wks!!)... as it was, I went 18 days past the EDD my midwife and I agreed on.

Go with your protective mama bear instincts. You know your body better than anyone else, especially after having done this before.

[Adaline'sMama]

My baby was breech and we had to do an external version at 37 weeks. If your midwife thinks you are 35 weeks when you are actually 37 weeks and she wont flip your baby until you are "37 weeks" when you would actually wind up being 39 weeks and if baby has dropped they are harder to flip. Then you could wind up with a breech baby.

I wouldnt lie by two weeks, it seems like it could get you into some sticky situations where you might have to come out and tell the truth.

[hildare]

if this is not your first babe, do you have any reason to suspect you'll go past 40 weeks? the "norm" is that first babes can usually go longer but subsequent births are likely to be before 40 weeks, statistically speaking.
personally, i'd be truthful for many of the reasons people above gave you...

[HypRN]

Also, your fundal measurements will be off (tape measure on the belly) later in pregnancy.  Might cause your midwife to be concerned when their is no reason to be.

[AutumnAir]

I would, and did, lie about my dates, and I'm very glad I did.

DD1 came at 43+1 weeks and I found the last few weeks of pregnancy to be *incredibly* stressful because of all the pressure to induce.

When I got pregnant with DD2 I really wanted to have a homebirth, which they usually only allow here up to 41+3 weeks (UK) so even though I knew that second babies usually come earlier I didn't want to depend on her coming nearly 2 weeks earlier.  And I knew that late babies run in my family and all have been perfectly healthy.  So I started to consider fudging my dates.  I originally thought about giving myself 2 weeks, but I did want to get the 20 week ultrasound just for reassurance, especially since I was planning a HB.  I know that the dates from a 20 week ultrasound can be off by +/- 10 days, but I didn't want to risk 2 weeks, since I worried that if there was too much of a discrepancy between my dates and the ultrasound ones, that they would change my dates to the ultrasound ones, which might even be earlier, since babies in my family tend to be on the large side.

So, in the end I bought myself a week - had no problem with the ultrasound.  DD2 not only didn't come early, she actually came almost a week later than DD1 - at 43+6 weeks by my dates (and I know ovulation, when we had sex, and I knew I was pregnant well before I got a BFP - was testing every day - so I'm certain as can be that my dates were right).  I was lucky enough to find a very supportive head midwife who agreed to allow me to be attended by MWs at home, up to 43 weeks (by their count) so I *just* made it in under the wire.  I was very glad that I adjusted my dates.

Do you have any reason to believe that you will go late? Was your last baby 42+ weeks? I think, usually, barring any medical problems, most moms have subsequent babies within a week or so of the date when their first arrived (though that's just my own observation, not scientifically backed up).  So, for me, the fact that I'd already had a 'late' baby and the fact that late babies run in my family (on both sides) meant that the likelihood of me having another late baby was pretty high - hence I was willing to manipulate my dates, since I knew late was just normal for me.  In fact, if I'd had a baby at 37 weeks (meaning the MWs would have thought I was 36 weeks and I would have been expected to go to hospital for it) I would have been quite worried - since DD1 was just perfect at 43 weeks, I would honestly expect a baby I had at 37 weeks (6 weeks earlier) to be functionally a preemie, if not by actual definition, since my babies just take longer to be ready.  But if your first came at 40 weeks then you're likely safe enough either way.  But the choice is yours, of course. :)

[Cassiani]

I would not lie.  I have had 4 children, not one came before 41 weeks.  My first was induced at 41 weeks, my 2nd I avoided induction until 41.5 weeks.  By this time I saw a pattern, and thought about lying about my LMP.  I think I actually did.  But couldn't make peace with it.  Why would I trust someone to be there for me at this crucial time, but not trust them with the facts?  That led me to finding a homebirth midwife who trusted my body and my thoughts as much as I did.  And I did.  I found a homebirth midwife who accepted my gluten-free, raw milk, unvaccinating ways (in Massachusetts), and who also said she would not push induction.  No matter what.

Here's the amazing thing, my dates were so messed up that my daughter came Nov 3rd instead of Oct 4th.  I was a full 43 weeks according to my best estimate, but by my LMP, over 4 weeks overdue.  And a couple of days before I went into labor, I called to see if I should get a full bio-physical.  I had been 4cm dilated for over 3 weeks (midwife only did internal exams by request) and she said she had been reviewing her charts b/c she had never had a woman go so late.  And all my measurements had been 2 weeks behind the entire pregnancy, so she recommended just waiting a few more days.

Labor was long, hard, baby was not rushing out and was posterior, but after 20 minutes of pushing, I delivered a beautiful 8lb 8oz girl who was definitely 42 weeks along, over 22 inches long, and had no tearing and absolutely no problems.  With my last birth, I told the midwife honest dates, and lied to everyone else in my life.  I had another baby after only 3.5 hours of active labor, only 7lbs, this time also almost 42 weeks.  

But I have to say, having my practitioner on the same page as me, able to honestly share worries, stress, and especially when the most recent baby started showing signs of arriving earlier than I thought possible, being able to express that and my worries, was such a blessing.  I think it is important to have a midwife or caregiver who trusts you and whom you trust.

[amydidit]

I think lying to a HCP is a very bad idea. Like has been mentioned several times, what if you go into labor early and your midwife then thinks you're premature? Bad things. Plus a relationship between a patient and a midwife should be based on trust. You need to be able to trust her, right? Well she should be able to trust you as well. She can't give you the best care if you aren't being honest with her. And that's not a good base for a relationship. 

[dakotablue]

The most I would do is 5 days. My MW gave me an extra 2 when I was sure about dates. Any more than that could be dangerous, a baby born at 37 weeks thinking its 36 is less likely to raise havoc same with ultrasounds (my 1 son was always 2 weeks ahead, second consistent with dates) and fundal heights won't be so off.

There is just so much risk involved. I wouldn't unless I was sure of dates and likelihood of going late (DS1 failed induction 40 weeks 6 days and DS2 VBAC 40weeks 3 days) I'd expect future children around 40 weeks 5-6 days.

There are some great natural inductions that work for many women (like evening primrose) check out prior forums mothering.com is full of info.