Kindergartners getting help in the bathroom? - Page 2

[cameragirl]

It really is a shame that things are like this, but they are. My mom teaches a "My First Preschool" class for kids 2.5 to 3.5. They have to be potty trained, and can't wear training pants or pull-ups. Even if the kid messes themselves and has a change of clothes, they are supposed to call the parents and leave the kids in their soiled clothing. It makes Mom so sad, because it is traumatic for a kid to sit there in a chair while they're wet with pee or sitting in poop while waiting for the parents. Back in the mid 70's when she started, it was procedure to just change the kid and get on with it. Unfortunately, I think the preschool dropped the ball by not telling you what to expect.

[Polliwog]

Originally Posted by JudiAU 

Oh, I am really sorry you both had a hard time with this. This is the policy in any public school and I thought anyway that it was well known. I am sorry that it wasn't discussed in orientation but I don't think the school did anything wrong. It also sounds like the teacher tried to handle it in the gentlest way possible. You just didn't know. At least in some preschools, they work on wiping as a skill to be learned prior to kindy.

Perhaps you practice at home with flushable wipes and or send some to school.

You know how some preschools require kids to be potty trained and some don't? It depends if they are licensed as a daycare or not. Daycares are licensed to take care of all bodily needs. Schools are not. So a preschool that is not licensed for diaper care (including wiping) will not and cannot help.

That varies dramatically by state and region. My DD attends Pre-K at DS's elementary school. There are several children (ages three and four) who aren't potty trained yet for various reasons. The teachers can, and do, help whoever needs it.

[pianojazzgirl]

Here too it is policy in all schools that pre-K and up kids need to wipe themselves.  I remember teaching dd to do it in the summer right before pre-K when she was 3.5.  I knew about it already then, but I don't remember if it was in the school literature, or (quite possibly) from reading constantly on MDC, lol. 

Anyway, it's unfortunate that you didn't know.  I guess it just slipped under your radar.  These things happen to us all!  Don't beat yourself up mama.  It sounds like your ds is doing ok now (not still worrying about what happened) and is doing well with the wiping, so that's good.  :)

[bandgeek]

We homeschool, so have avoided this issue (I read here because I'm considering school in the future).  I just wanted to let you know that you aren't alone in having a school age kid who has difficulty wiping.  I've talked to MANY parents whose kids had difficulty.  Some refuse to help and the kid eventually gets it.  Some help and the kid still eventually gets it.  All in all, none of these kids are going to go to middle school needing help.  Personally I think parents who say "all kids should have this skill by X age" have no idea the range of development.  My son is almost 7 and just doesn't have the dexterity to do it.  Period.  He has some minor issues we are looking at getting diagnosed, but nothing that screams "special needs"!  But he seems to have fine motor difficulties.  I always encourage him to wipe before I help him, and he reaches around and does it, but only manages to smear it around.  He's not stupid and he's not playing me.  He HATES being dirty.  He's even gotten horrible rashes from not getting clean enough.  One of my friends said all her kids (she has 6 and never helped them once they started using the potty) always had dirty underwear until they got the whole wiping thing down properly around age 6-8.  It's not uncommon.

That said, I understand why schools can't help.  So in the meantime, just try to work around it.  Get his body used to going before he goes to school, or in the afternoons.  See if he can get it "good enough" and then work on it again at home with a wet wipe to hold him over until bath time.  Try different ways of teaching him, like one pp mentioned....progress to him wiping himself.

Me, I'm going to tell my kid to do it back to front no matter how "wrong" it is.  Because I have gotten tired of it, even though I understand it's not his fault.

[Bluegoat]

Originally Posted by bandgeek 

We homeschool, so have avoided this issue (I read here because I'm considering school in the future).  I just wanted to let you know that you aren't alone in having a school age kid who has difficulty wiping.  I've talked to MANY parents whose kids had difficulty.  Some refuse to help and the kid eventually gets it.  Some help and the kid still eventually gets it.  All in all, none of these kids are going to go to middle school needing help.  Personally I think parents who say "all kids should have this skill by X age" have no idea the range of development.  My son is almost 7 and just doesn't have the dexterity to do it.  Period.  He has some minor issues we are looking at getting diagnosed, but nothing that screams "special needs"!  But he seems to have fine motor difficulties.  I always encourage him to wipe before I help him, and he reaches around and does it, but only manages to smear it around.  He's not stupid and he's not playing me.  He HATES being dirty.  He's even gotten horrible rashes from not getting clean enough.  One of my friends said all her kids (she has 6 and never helped them once they started using the potty) always had dirty underwear until they got the whole wiping thing down properly around age 6-8.  It's not uncommon.

That said, I understand why schools can't help.  So in the meantime, just try to work around it.  Get his body used to going before he goes to school, or in the afternoons.  See if he can get it "good enough" and then work on it again at home with a wet wipe to hold him over until bath time.  Try different ways of teaching him, like one pp mentioned....progress to him wiping himself.

Me, I'm going to tell my kid to do it back to front no matter how "wrong" it is.  Because I have gotten tired of it, even though I understand it's not his fault.

Yes, this.  It's totally normal to have a lot of variation in this.  Kids in the preschool-kindi age range have huge variation in their development., which IMO is why in a lot of places real school doesn't start until age 6 or 7.