Birthday Parties--When You Can't Afford To Host the Whole Class

[umsami]

Both of my boys have birthdays coming up, and both would like to have bday parties.  DS1 is turning 8, and DS2 is turning 6.  We've always had small family birthday parties, but they'd like to have one with friends this year.  We live in a small apartment, so would realistically have to host them at a venue.

DS1's class has 26 people in it.  DS2's class has 20 kids.  I realize that not every kid will come (or at least I hope so), but I can't help but worry about the cost and logistics of handling so many kids should they all show up.  How do you handle this?  I thought about only inviting the boys--but both of my sons have a few good friends who are girls.  I thought about inviting kids who were in their classes last year (since it's a smaller number), but does that leave out new potential friends?  I'd love to do the invites=age thing, but realistically, we'd be leaving out a lot of kids.  I don't want kids that young feeling left out and hurt.

Help!

[Jenni1894]

When DS had his bday I couldn't afford his whole class of 19 plus family.  So I let him choose 6 friends, since he was 6.    yup, left some friends out but what can you do?   I explained that it was a lot of kids and a lot of food and space and he was okay with that.  

I just sent the invites to the kids' homes. 

[~cassie]

We have never been able to host that large of a party-nor had the desire to.  So what we do is we just send cookies or cupcakes to the school for snack so that the class gets to participate.  But on actual birthday party day-we let him choose 4-6 friends from either his school or karate class or neighbors etc.

[MoonWillow]

Our local Community Center does birthday parties for around $100 and that includes invitations, organized games, cake etc. Finances are always an issue for us as well but I could never have all of those kids in my house. They wouldn't even fit. I guess my advice is to call around and price the kid parties that businesses provide and then compare costs and then decide if you can swing it.

Another idea; how about a pavilion at a local park? You can bring a pizza and cake and the cost should be nice and low but there will be room for everyone to run and play.   

[Cavy]

Are their birthdays close enough together to have a joint party for both, and then just limit invites to ten per boy?  So no more than half the class, and their choices about who?  That would keep numbers manageable, not pointedly exclude anybody, and cut down on your costs (only have to hire the venue once).

Am very impressed by $100 for the venue with invites and extras!

[pianojazzgirl]

We have never had the money or space needed to host that many kids.   I've also always let dd choose who she wants to invite.  If she wanted to invite all but one kid in her class, or all the girls but one or something like that then I would step in (in fact see my recent thread in Parenting about this year's b-day invite dilemma).  Besides that I just let her invite those kids who she's actually friends with.  This year, for example, she chose 8 kids to invite from school.  I sent the invites with her and we talked about how she could give them out so that it wasn't too obvious - to avoid kids seeing and realizing that there was a party they weren't invited to.  When she was in pre-k and k I could send it in her school bag and the teacher would distribute them to the appropriate kids' agendas.  Now that she's in grade 2 that's not an option, but it sounds (from what she said) that she was able to give them out without any hurt feelings.  If I had had the kids' home addresses, emails or phone numbers I would have just invited them using one of those methods.

Another factor that dissuades me from inviting the whole class is that the school friends are only some of the friends she wants to invite.  Like I said she invited 8 from her class, but she also invited 8 kids who are family friends or friends from the neighbourhood.  16 kids is already pretty much more than we can deal with (but some won't be able to make it so in reality there will be fewer), I can't imagine all 20-whatever classmates PLUS the extra 8 other friends.

[limabean]

I think having an expectation of inviting the whole class is a silly trend. It's fine if people want to invite the whole class, but it's also perfectly fine not to -- that option isn't inferior, or mean, or any other negative word.

So invite the number of kids you're comfortable with and have a great time! 

(We tend to let DS invite 4-5 friends to come do something fun -- mini golf, a movie, bowling -- with us, then just have a family bbq with cake. It's super easy that way, and DS loves it!)

[umsami]

Thanks everybody.

I decided to let the kids choose 10 friends and leave it at that.  DS2 wants to invite all the boys in his class, and DS2 wants a mixed group.  I think it will work out O.K.  

I never remember inviting the whole class when I was a kid--so I was surprised at this new trend.