Can't take son on trip with us - what to do?!

[MommyofNRM]

This is probably more of a rant- any advice/suggestions would be appreciated but I appreciate support just the same.

My dh and I have to travel to DC (which is a quick plane ride from where we live) for his work and we will be gone Mon-Tues. 

I struggle to part with my son as it is. I'm a SAHM and I never leave him for more than an hour or so and only with my dh. 

Our original plan had to be to have my mother stay with him, despite having a rocky relationship with her. she's good with ds and he likes her, but she is unstable at times and I just don't feel comfortable with leaving him with her for two days. She has also recently reminded me why I don't want to let her watch my son (went to lunch with her at 1pm and she was intoxicated) UGH. We have a few friends who live nearby but they all work during the day so they wouldn't be able to stay with my ds. Taking him with us isn't an option as we'll be attending a black tie event on Mon evening. Any moms have thoughts on this? What should I do? Encouraging words?

TIA! 

[lovepickles]

I personally wouldn't go. I'm also a SAHM and don't leave my DD for more than an hour or so. DD is 20 months and we've had a travel ban for mommy or baby since birth. Is your husband pressuring you to attend? Can you discuss him going without you?

But, if you HAVE to go I would bring him with you. Leaving him with someone who is "unstable" is absolutely not an option. Perhaps you could bring someone you know with you just to watch him during the event, nearby perhaps in the same building. Your absence will be stressful on your son and leaving him with someone who is not you is going to be very difficult on him AND the caregiver. Maybe you could find a reputable caregiver in DC for the event ... it sounds strange but I'm sure a couple hours would be much easier for all instead of two nights.

Listen to your gut about being uncomfortable leaving him, it is important.

[lifeguard]

I was going to suggest having someone come along with you as well. That way you would only be away from him for a few hours.

I would have been fine leaving ds at that age overnight - but only if it was with my Mom, who is someone I trust absolutely. If I didn't have that I'm not sure what I would do.

[MommyofNRM]

Thanks for the replies ladies! I do not HAVE to go but my dh asked me to accompany him to receive a "big deal" award and I'd feel bad making him go alone. We're going to see if the hotel has some sort of childcare that we could use for the few hours we'll be at the awards ceremony. Otherwise, we don't really have anyone (except my mother) to go on the trip with us. My dh said he isn't comfortable bringing her with us, but if that's our only choice, he'll have to accept it. I'd rather have her there where I can keep an eye on her and have my son taken care of. I'll repost when we make our final decision. Thanks again for your suggestions and support! 

[pianojazzgirl]

Like another pp I'd probably choose not to go.  Or I'd choose to bring someone with me to watch my babe just during the event.

I know you say your mother is not totally reliable/stable.  Could you ask some friends that you trust for babysitter recommendations?  You might be able to find someone else (reliable!) who you could hire to go with you guys.  Or would it be possible to leave ds with a trusted friend in your home town for Mon evening and night, and then have your mom pick him up in the morning when your friend has to go to work (so your mom doesn't have to be responsible for him for the whole time)?  Or would it be worth taking a red-eye after the event to get home by Tues morning to pick him up yourselves?

[KSDoulaMama]

If there are any nanny agencies in the area you're traveling, you might be able to use them to line up a sitter for the night who can watch your kiddo at the hotel. That is what I would do.

[zebra15]

Since you are going to a major city I would look for a nanny service for a few hours.  Most cities have them and most hotels can recommend several to choose from.  Start calling now and get a couple referrals, explain the dates, times you will need a sitter/nanny and what you want.  Do you want a drop off location or do you want the sitter in your hotel room?  Do you want 1:1 care or a group setting?  What is the cost etc.

I'm a single mom and there are time I've needed to take DS with me and on site nanny services are a total lifesaver.

[Adaline'sMama]

I would get on the Finding Your Tribe forum for DC and see if there are any mommas that would be willing to babysit for a few hours that night for you. Otherwise, I wouldnt go. Id leave my kid with a lady Ive never met from MDC than with someone who has a substance abuse problem any day.

[voca]

We've had really excellent experiences with nanny services in this sort of situation. We make sure to inform them we are co-sleepers and still nurse (our daughter is 2), and they have always provided us with supportive nannies.

[MommyofNRM]

Originally Posted by voca 

We've had really excellent experiences with nanny services in this sort of situation. We make sure to inform them we are co-sleepers and still nurse (our daughter is 2), and they have always provided us with supportive nannies.

Sounds great! We're going to look into a nanny service for the area. Thanks everyone for your great suggestions!