Am I the only one with an UGLY post-baby tummy?

[Celticqueen]

Really starting to think so and I need input. I see pictures of my friends who have given birth, strangers who have given birth, on Facebook or magazines and am honestly getting depressed about it. I have NEVER seen a tummy like mine and it's really starting to worry me.

I can't post pictures, because I'm too embarrassed, but here is the description: It is SAGGY, WRINKLEY AND DOUGH- LIKE. From the belly button down. I can literally take my skin and take a bunch of the stretched out skin and make a ball out of it. Every other part of my tummy pulls in nicely- the muscles are herniated but go in when I wear a corset. Hernias can't effect the skin not being willing to tighten, can it?

I can't wear a two piece anymore, I can't show my tummy to anyone at all- including DH. He wouldn't mind, of course, but because of my self-consciousness of it, I can't. It is so terrible. Not only that, there is nothing I can do so please no suggestions- I have tried everything. Everything from all kinds of lotions to corsets to exercises and it is hopeless. My dermatologist says that there's nothing I can do about it either, and I believe him because if he wanted to I know he would throw expensive lotions or other products to "help it". 

It's just getting to me right now. I'm pregnant with our 3rd and I am dreading post-pardum already because of my stomach. 

It would at least help if I knew other women had ugly stomachs like me. I felt sick yesterday because I saw a picture of my friend who just gave birth 2 months ago and she has a super-model stomach. I couldn't believe it!

Yeah, I realize what I'm saying might sound vain to a lot of you but like I said, I am fearful that I'm the only one because of how many others have perfect post-pardum stomachs.

I can't exactly go asking moms to pull up their shirt so I can see their stomachs so there's no other way for me to know than to ask like this! 

Here are some other factors...I'm 5'1 small stature. I don't know...could that have something to do with my severe stretched skin? Are smaller women more at risk for this especially if they carry 9 pound babies like I do? 

Concerned, frustrated and humiliated. Even my own mom made a negative comment about my stomach at one point saying how she thought it was really bad looking. 

Sorry to sound like a whiny 14 year old (I'm married, and almost 26) but I do care about my appearance, maybe more than I should, and I really have to know there are women with bad skin out there just like mine! It might sound silly, but it truly would help my mind-set a bit more if I didn't feel like such a strange alien here. 

TIA!

[MelW]

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[scottishmommy]

You are NOT the only woman out there with an ugly postpartum belly! The only reason it seems that way is because women don't post pictures of their flaws on facebook. So, you probably have tons of friends with saggy, stretched out pouches who hide them. I know plenty of women who have tummies like that. In fact, my SIL just had a tummy tuck to fix her belly. She couldn't be happier. She was so miserable about it before. I've known women who never stop looking pregnant. Seriously, if it weren't common, why would there be so many products out there to help fix it? Why would there be plastic surgeons who specialize in tummy tucks? There are a lot of things about our postpartum bodies that nobody talks about. My tummy was ok after DD's birth, but my vagina looked like the Grand Canyon! Holy moly! Try getting your friends to tell you about that!

[CI Mama]

My belly is also saggy, wrinkly, and dough-like, after only 1 baby (8-pounder).

Some women do naturally have smooth bellies after birth, but I'd say that's the exception, not the rule! Unfortunately in an age where photos are routinely "touched up" before publication and plastic surgery is commonplace, we are taught to feel shame for the normal, natural changes that happen in our bodies. Most of us who do experience normal stretching, sagging, and wrinkling just don't share pictures of those parts of ourselves. And that just perpetuates the idea that women aren't supposed to be changed by pregnancy, birth & breastfeeding.

[Celticqueen]

Originally Posted by MelW 

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Wow...Thank you! I had never heard of this site and I think I'll be looking at it alot in the future. Some of those tummies are even worse than mine! I am really glad to know there are support networks out there for this type of tummy and women who aren't ashamed of it- perhaps I need an attitude adjustment. It's just hard...I've been a film actress, model, etc. so I think a lot of this comes from personal experience with vanity. I USED to have the "perfect stomach" that every woman would love to have. So it's been a bit of a shock to suddenly not have it anymore. It's going to be hard to come to terms with it and you'd think by now I'd be used to it but as one of the testimonies I read on that site, I'd rather have my boys than no boys and a perfect stomach- they are my world. I once heard someone call her stretch marks "a map showing where I've been". I like that.

Thanks again for the responses. I really do hate my stomach, and I know my DH cares a lot less than I do, but there's still much self-consciousness over it. It's just hard. But easier knowing there are others out there!

[mamapigeon]

I have a saggy belly too. I try to hide it by wearing long shirts. I'm a little taller than you at 5'4''. My baby was a little over 10lbs. I'm very prone to stretch marks (I have a zebra on my belly!), so I think it might just be that my skin isn't very elastic.

I'm only 22 and I worry about it getting worse with each additional child, but I've decided that if I can't get rid of it on my own I will have a tummy tuck when I'm done having children.

[lunabin]

I'm in this boat too.  Usually, I'm a size 4, only 5'5" and was known to be anorexic looking way back when.  Not only is my stomach full of extra skin and pudge now, but I constantly felt like I looked pregnant.  I"m kind of relieved to be showing with #2 now, and have a "real excuse" for my body shape.  My DD was also 8lbs, 5oz, and I gained over 40lbs with her.  Even though I lost every pound, there's just no way I'm getting that body back.  

I'm glad there are others out there talking about it, but I also am considering plastic surgery when I'm done having kids.  If I can justify the cost, then that will be one solution.  But, I think it is very important to find emotional resolution to all the changes.  

[Turquesa]

Originally Posted by MelW 

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You soooooo made my day.  I love you to pieces and have no clue who you are!!