naps/nursing to sleep

[tincia]

Newbie here! Hopefully this is not redundant, but i really need some advice! My little guy is 5 months. He sleeps quite well at night, often until about 6am, but even if not, at least until 4, so i am thankful for that! Bedtime goes smooth most nights also, although requires a few trips to offer the soother, but ultimately results in him getting him self to sleep in a fairly short period of time.
Naps, however, are a different story. He wants to either be nursed to sleep or cuddled. Most times if i try to put him dawn, he will wake up and cry.
What can i do to make it easier? Is it okay for them to nurse to sleep? The grandparents on both of our sides of the family think he is held too much..
Help!

[katelove]

I don't think there is any such thing as holding too much. Little babies believe that their mother is an extension of themselves. They think they're part of us.

For the first 3-4 months of her life our baby was either on us or beside us all the time. The exceptions were in the car seat, in the bath and being changed. And, obviously we were in pretty close contact then as well. She is now a secure, happy toddler who will play independently and happily spends time with her grandparents and uncle without DH or me needing to be there.

There is also no reason not to feed your LO to sleep as long as it's working for both of you. My LO is 15 months and I have fed her to sleep for about 99% of her sleeps since she was born. I can't describe how much I love doing it.

Physiologically it provides them with hormones to help them sleep. Psychologically it meets their need for closeness. It also gives you a chance to lie down and rest.

I'm sure your family mean well but maybe just a smile and a "thanks, it's working for us at the moment"?

[KTProvi]

Just completely agree w Katelove - could have written it myself.  Babies need to be cuddled and held, physically, neurologically, emotionally.... and it's great for us too.  One thing I will add, since my 17-mo-old cuddlebug, who always gets nursed to sleep, is my second and last baby, is to remember how precious and fleeting these moments are.  It doesn't last long!  Enjoy, appreciate, and treasure your little baby.

(I would not ask those grandparents for advice - they do not feel supportive/ helpful to me.)

[j.e.n]

Totally and completely agree with katelove and KTProvi!!

I nursed and/or cuddled my oldest for naps until she weaned at 3! Well, to elaborate, she nursed either before a nap or to fall asleep for a nap as she got older. And there was always cuddling before, and until #2 arrived, many, many, many naps were just taken together. :o)

For me personally, I LOVED it. And now that I've had three more children, I truly miss the ability to just cuddle one child with all of my attention and have the luxury to nap along if desired. It is one of the most beautiful parts of a mother/child relationship (to me). And 5 months is still sooooo young! That is when they still need you so much. Like katelove mentioned, lots of psychological and physiological aspects are taking place. 

My oldest was the same way. We would put her in a swing for naps (after nursing of course!) around 6-9 months or so, and we would literally have to sit in front of her so that she could make sure we didn't leave. I didn't get her to sleep in her crib for a nap until she was over a year old (but as a disclaimer we co-sleep). And that required either stroking of the hair/head/arm/back or as she got used to it, sitting within her sightline until she would fall asleep. While waiting, I would sit and write in a journal. There were definitely times that I felt that it was tedious and frustrating - but honestly, looking back, I'm so happy I did. But a good chunk of the time, I just napped with her! As I mentioned before, you only have that time once and it's gone forever. They grow SOOO fast.

As long as YOU are okay with the circumstances, that is all that matters. You're doing great! Just follow your mama instincts. It can be tough when relatives offer opinions that differ, but just stay strong in your beliefs. You won't regret them. Happy cuddling!! 

[tincia]

I guess my worry is that it is detrimental to my other 2 who were more independant sleepers and easily self soothed, so this is uncharted territory for me. I worry that my other two never really get my undivided attention. I feel like "just a minute sweetie, mommy is feeding jack" is my catch phrase! My middle daughter just turned 3 and is starting within the last two weeks to get jelous. She even talks about "no special milk for jack, put him down and feed me your special milk"! Tandem nursing is not an option because i have a low supply and plus, she has been weaned happily for over two yrs. I think even if i did offer she would then look at me like i have 2 heads! I think it's more about the attention. I do tell her to come cuddle up with us while nursing and that does sometimes help, but she will even sometimes wake him up on purpose if he is sleep nursing in hopes tbat will free me up, however it just results in us all being miserable because he is then screaming, she is getting mad, and my oldest, if not at school, will just retreat to her room.. Sorry that was kind of a rant, but those r my issues

[katelove]

Ah, ok. I assumed from your first post that this was your only babe. Do you babywear? Could your 5mo feed and sleep in a wrap (or any other carrier) so you're still free to do things with your other two?

[tincia]

I use a cheap sling but it starts to get uncomfortable for both of us after not too long. That is a good idea, perhaps i should get a better one and give it a try!