1st day of preschool tomorrow -- do I send her in underwear or a Pull-Up?

[limabean]

My 3.5-year-old DD has made great strides in potty training in the last month, but she's still not fully reliable.

With pee, she usually makes it to the bathroom, but every once in a while she'll have a tiny bit of pee in her undies before she gets there. I'm not too worried about that though -- I would definitely just send her in undies (with an extra outfit in her backpack) if that were the only issue. 

The issue is pooping. Maybe once every 4 days or so, she'll poop in the potty and will seem really proud of herself (and we make it clear that we're very proud of her), but then the next day she'll poop in her underwear. I've even told her that it's okay with me if she asks for a Pull-Up to poop in, as long as she just doesn't go in her underwear, but she never asks -- she sneaks off to poop in her underwear. I'm onto her, so usually I'll follow her and say, "Do you want a Pull-Up or the potty?", but of course her preschool teacher won't be as attuned to her as I am. 

I hate to backslide to using Pull-Ups in place of underwear, but I don't want her teacher to have to deal with poop accidents at school (DD tends to poop in the late morning, which is when she'll be at preschool). 

What would you do?

[reezley]

I would probably go with a pull-up for preschool.  It may be backsliding a bit, but I think the new dynamic of preschool, seeing other kids going to use the potty, might shift things ahead too.  Things can be different at school, you never know....

[pianojazzgirl]

Can you talk to the teacher about it?  It sounds like your dd knows when she needs to poop, but chooses to go in her undies (am I understanding correctly?).  If that is the case then it might be one of those things where, when she's in the classroom setting, she goes along with how things are done at school.  In other words, if all the other kids are pooping at the potty then your dd might just go along with it.  But, I'd talk to the teacher first and ask her advice (and get a feeling of how open she is to dealing with accidents).

If you don't get a positive vibe about it from the teacher then I'd send her in pullups.  And if you don't get a chance to talk to the teacher first then I'd probably just do pullups for the first day (though you could have her in undies, then talk to the teacher right before school and change her into pullups before you leave if it seems necessary).  Don't forget too, that just because she's in pullups doesn't mean she can't use the toilet. 

[LynnS6]

I vote underwear. For most preschools, they will not change a poopy child. At least around here, preschools are different from daycare. Daycares are set up to change poopy children. So, when our kids were in preschool, they told us flat out that if there was a pee accident, they would help the child change clothes, but if there was a poop accident, the parents would be called. So, if/when you have this conversation with your daughter's teacher, I would phrase it as 'she's not always reliable about pooping in the potty, what's your preferred way of dealing with this?' (trust me, she's not the first 3 1/2 year old who's been like this.)

The other thing is that she may well be able to hold it while at preschool. Our son was in preschool and daycare, and he NEVER ONCE pooped in the potty for them. He was actually not poop trained at all when we sent him to preschool. He'd always ask for a diaper. He also never had a poop accident at school/daycare. He just adjusted his body clock so that he'd poop when he got home. If your daughter is reluctant to poop anyway, this might the strategy she chooses. (OK, and then I"ll confess to MASSIVELY bribing the child to poop in the potty. I'd had it with poopy diapers from a 3 1/2 year old. I don't regret that bribe one minute!)

[34me]

I agree with LynnS6.  The pre-schools my boys went to (and the one at the Rec Center where I work) don't change kiddos.  One of the pre requisites to going is that the child must be fully potty trained.  When my younger ds was there they "discovered" a child had used his pull up and he never came back.

[kayleesmom]

I would do undies hope she has a great first day

[limabean]

Holy cow, well she must be anxious about starting school because today she wet her pants 3 times, pooped in her pants once, splashed her hands in the toilet water (which she's never done), and was just generally grouchy. I'm just going to do a pull-up (on school days only -- twice a week for 3 hours) until she adjusts and gets her potty mojo back. Hopefully she'll just potty with the other kids and it won't be an issue. 

[Drummer's Wife]

If the preschool requires kids to be potty trained, I'd send her in underwear.  Plus, that will help her realize that while she's at school, she doesn't have the option of going in her pants (or at least it will deter her, as she won't be walking around in a diaper/pull-up). Most preschools aren't going to help with wiping, or changing pull-ups, so unless you talked to the teacher ahead of time about the possibility -- and said they could call you if she did go in her pants -- I'd say send her in underwear. 

[LynnS6]

The other thing to know is that preschool teachers who teach 3 year olds EXPECT kids to have accidents. Our preschool kept a whole little dresser of clothes to change kids into when it happens. They wet clothes were sent home in a bag with a little note asking us to wash and return them. No big deal.

[meemee]

i was about to say pullups and then i saw ur second post. 

dd had be PT before she started ps/dc. the first month she had many accidents as she transitioned. she regressed.

however i knew she held her poop and has never pooped at school or ps or dc so i sent her with underwear. and yeah the staff would help but not clean. once she got used to it, the only other time i put her in pullups was much later when she had the pee a million times a year in K. 

[limabean]

Originally Posted by Drummer's Wife 

If the preschool requires kids to be potty trained, I'd send her in underwear.  Plus, that will help her realize that while she's at school, she doesn't have the option of going in her pants (or at least it will deter her, as she won't be walking around in a diaper/pull-up). Most preschools aren't going to help with wiping, or changing pull-ups, so unless you talked to the teacher ahead of time about the possibility -- and said they could call you if she did go in her pants -- I'd say send her in underwear. 

That's the thing -- I have no idea what their potty policy is. Between the time we registered and now, the school has changed hands and is under completely new management and even has a new name. We had an orientation, and I'm pleased with nearly all of the changes, so I think this will be a positive thing, but potty issues weren't addressed during the orientation and the handbook doesn't say a word about it -- odd! Under the old policy, you just had to pay a little more per month if you decided to send them in pull-ups. I'll have to talk to the teacher today and see what she says.