TO: LINDA ON THE MOVE
First of all I said "DUH" because I think it was pretty obvious what I was saying about why I am teaching my daughter to sit with her legs closed...I mean really what age are you from? What kind of "lady" are you if you don't sit with your legs closed when you have a dress on? I allow my kids to be kids & my daughter does wear shorts under her dresses because she is still learning to be a young LADY!!! I am not focusing on her panties & I don't think that teaching her how to sit is what makes her grow up to be confident about herself!!! She has to believe in herself, and part of that is having respect for yourself, and you dont show that you have respect for yourself if you sit around with your legs gapped open bearing all for the world to see!!!!! I understand that there are allot of ways to discipline. AGAIN!, I AM NOT STUPID!!!!! But sometimes with some children, some of those other ways just don't work!!!! I don't "hit" my kids, I spank them on their bottoms! There is a difference in spanking, hitting and beating...I don't believe that spanking them is teaching them it's okay to beat others up smaller or not...I am not teaching them to fear me either, because if I were then why when they are hurt, need something, want something, or for any other reason you can think of...THEY COME TO ME---NOT DADDY---NOT GRANDMA!!!!!
TO ADALINE'S MAMA
These children may not be my blood, but they ARE mine!!! I didn't barge into their lives, they asked me to be a part of their lives...Their dady sat down with them, before he asked me to marry him, and talked with them about me and made sure that they wanted me to be a part of their lives and to eventually be their mom...That is one of the key things in our relationship that we made sure to go over before we took ANY measures to becoming a family...they (the kids) wanted me to be their mommy, they (the kids) asked me to be their mommy!!!! That is how he proposed to me...the kids asked me, not him!!!!! I know to some, a yr & a half may not be a long time, but to those kids it's like I have been there for longer. I didn't rip them from their grandma, they wanted to come live with us...they wanted to be with us!! I do allow them to be kids, but part of being a kid growing up and learning. (you would know that if you would have grown up youself) I don't "force" my daughter to sit with her legs closed, but I do teach her that it is proper and lady like... I know plenty of women that are very well educated, have top notch careers, and still know how to act "like a lady". They all have respect for themselves and have class which you aparently know nothing about... I may only be a woman that married their dad, but I am the closest thing to a mother that these kids have EVER had...How dare you say that their grandma was right by telling them not to listen to their dad or me...that is a type of brainwashing which is something you seem all to familar with. I don't tell them that noone will like them because they or their behavior is not perfect. They understand that NOONE is perfect except for God & Jesus (which by the way is something that me & their dad have taught them because their grandma doesnt believe in that) And I am not angry because of a control issue, but I am angry that their grandma doesnt love them enough to be truthfull to them & plays mind games on them, out of spite towards us and YES, it is frustrating to teach them that they are special and that they are loved when their whole life they have been treated otherwise! The only lessons I am teaching them as far as spanking them is that some behaviors & some actions will not be tolerated whether it is in our home or out in the world. Let me ask you a question...would you want to be around a grown person who lies to you all the time or has no respect for you or your things? I think not!!!! BTW- I did not get on here to "change my disciple methods" as you say, but to get advice on how to overcome some of the isecurities that my children came to me with when we first became a family...get your head out of your ass and actually read the whole forum before you start judging people...Listening to you makes me picture an overweight slob with short butch like hair that has been left all alone and can find nothing better to do with their time than sit on the computer & judge others so that you can feel better about yourself...