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Living with SO with ASD

post #1 of 8
Thread Starter 

I had no idea where to put this post, but this seems like as good a place as any.. Mods- If you feel that the title needs changing or this is in the wrong place, please change it as you see fit. 

 

My husband has Aspergers. He was only diagnosed a few years ago so I am still figuring out how to best interact with him. I was thinking it would be great if we had a support thread for anyone who's SO is ASD.  

 

I feel very lonely at times. If I change the order in which I do something, DH gets very upset. Until I realized this was his Aspieness, it kind of made me feel like I couldn't do anything right. I recently learned that if we are in public, and he is avoiding eye contact with me and being very quiet that he is overwhelmed/shutting down, I need to get him out of there. 

 

I don't mean to make it sound all bad, I am just trying to address the challenges.  

post #2 of 8
Thread Starter 

Nobody?

 

Does MDC have a way to just delete a thread?

post #3 of 8

I have an Aspie hubby.  I have an Aspie daughter and son, and possibly another dd. 

 

My dh's symptoms mostly come out as major ambition and drive, but he has issues w/his volume, and not recognizing when someone is not interested in what he is saying or he'll say it 18 times in different ways, sometimes making me feel like he is talking down to me.

 

My oldest dd is easily overwhelmed by crowds, too sometimes.  She will also say the same thing (or ask the same ?) in many different ways (I swear sometimes it is just because she is trying to fill quiet gaps, which I would prefer remain quiet!).  She also has OCD symptoms and bipolar symptoms.

 

My son has speech issues (his brain is flying too fast for his mouth, really) at times, and I sometimes see him as his older sis's clone, lol.  They have so many of the same interests and their brains definitely operate in much the same way.

 

We are doing the protocol at the Neurosensory Center of America for the oldest (her symptoms are most severe and interfere w/normal functioning at times).  The rest of them are on the special B-lotion that is the mainstay of the protocol, and it helps tremendously!  My son's speech gets more clear due to his thoughts being more stable.  He can slow down enough to read better and I hear the difference in his piano playing, too.

 

Anyway, I hear you and I'm here for you!

 

P.s. For the last month my oldest dd has been completely off her psychiatric drugs (Lithium, Prozac, etc) and I can see the protocol kicking in and healing must be happening in her brain.  The Neurosensory Center is amazing, and holistic, btw, jic it can help your hubby!

post #4 of 8
Thread Starter 

Thank you!

 

 

 

"My dh's symptoms mostly come out as major ambition and drive, but he has issues w/his volume, and not recognizing when someone is not interested in what he is saying or he'll say it 18 times in different ways, sometimes making me feel like he is talking down to me.

 

My oldest dd is easily overwhelmed by crowds, too sometimes.  She will also say the same thing (or ask the same ?) in many different ways (I swear sometimes it is just because she is trying to fill quiet gaps, which I would prefer remain quiet!).  She also has OCD symptoms and bipolar symptoms."

 

My DH does this too. He goes on an on describing something, completely forgetting he had a point to make. I have to kind of say "Yeah I get it, go on." to get him back on track.

 

DH is also extremely forgetful. During 5mi trip to the library, he will continuously ask me where we are going. 

 

He learned about social interaction by reading psychology, body language and dating books. He acts the part and now just people who know Asperger's can tell. Sometimes though something sets him off. Last Sunday at church, a lady touched him on the shoulder. He could not handle that. At that point, he could hardly speak. I *hate* seeing him so scared. There's not a damn thing I can do about it.greensad.gif

 

We want to start TTC but he is rarely comfortable with sex. 

 

I will look into the Neuroscience place, thanks. :)

 

 

 

 

post #5 of 8

There was another big thread on here a few years back on this, but there was sooooo much drama and people coming into to bash us that it died away.  :(

 

 

I don't talk about it on here anymore. I do HIGHLY reccomend the forums on WrongPlanet though. It's an entire site devoted to it and has a ton of "NT" SO's on there too and parents!   :)

 

 

{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{hugs}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}

post #6 of 8

This is exactly what I came back to MDC looking for!

 

I really hope we can start a tribe, or something like that. My partner is great, and a lot more "normal" than it sounds when I am focusing on his faults and challenges... but at the same time, cumulatively, those challenges are huge. Now that I've understood (and it has sunk in) that he has Aspergers, things have been improving steadily, but I could use some community and guidance.

post #7 of 8

My DH has aspergers. He was dx after our son was dx with autism at age 2. His whole life he had been told he had OCD, ADHD, ADD, Depression, etc. So finally when our son was dx they figured it out. All 3 of our bio kids are on the spectrum so it makes for some crazy days around here for me :)

post #8 of 8

My partner has Aspergers, some days it's hard to live with others I love his oddities. My son is also ASD which is a challenge in and of itself. I feel your frustrations. I also have Aspergers so it's been a challenge to balance us all... Nice to meet you all

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