Unassisted Birth « Back to Group Discussions

[SoCaliMommy]

Figured I'd start up a thread here.


Have you bought birth supplies yet? What are you buying as your must have items?

How are you feeling ?

[IwannaBanRN]

I've gotten some blue cohosh and a BUNCH of leftover bedpads and large pantyliners from when my sister had her baby a year ago. She also had 2 pairs of unused post-partum undies(YAY!). I swear...if I would let myself be caught dead in those things without having just had a baby, I'd wear them everyday! lol I found some clean and brand new ribbon that I'll be cutting and setting aside to boil for the cord. I really want to get a new pair of kitchen shears to boil to cut the cord. I do not feel comfortable using the ones we've had for 5 years, and especially since we don't have a dishwasher. So anyway......

I'm feeling more pressure than EVER to not birth at home unassisted. DH is FREAKED out! He would be very happy if I could have at least had a midwife, which is what I wanted, but settle to go unassisted and I really do think everything will be fine, but IF something happens I'll be even more helpless if DH is freaking out, saying I should have been in the hospital in the first place. I know there will be tension of him being so uneasy about the process and it'll make my labor longer or possibly stall, so I don't know what to do at all. He's NOT supportive of this, but I do NOT want to have this baby in a hospital and I have no way to pay a midwife. I'd almost just rather do it myself in the bathtub, with the phone right by me if I need an ambulance and just boil the stuff I need myself after I deliver. I'm STUCK!

[meesh933]

This is pretty much why I decided I could never UC. My DH would be totally useless, even in a good situation, never mind if something went wrong. He's not the kind of guy to read up and learn all he can about birth so he'd know what was normal and when I needed help. I have friends who have birthed unassisted, and their husbands ARE that guy, but my DH just isn't. He'd rather go back to the days when Dads sat in the waiting room smoking cigars, lol.

If you do decide you want a midwife, many are really, really flexible with payment. One I interviewed last pregnancy would've given me like 9 months after baby was born to pay, and I know my midwife has been really flexible with payment and bartering with other clients. I just wish I had some skill I could use to barter with her! All I can do is make jam, and it would cost a whole lot of jars of jam to cover her fee!
 

Originally Posted by IwannaBanRN 

I'm feeling more pressure than EVER to not birth at home unassisted. DH is FREAKED out! He would be very happy if I could have at least had a midwife, which is what I wanted, but settle to go unassisted and I really do think everything will be fine, but IF something happens I'll be even more helpless if DH is freaking out, saying I should have been in the hospital in the first place. I know there will be tension of him being so uneasy about the process and it'll make my labor longer or possibly stall, so I don't know what to do at all. He's NOT supportive of this, but I do NOT want to have this baby in a hospital and I have no way to pay a midwife. I'd almost just rather do it myself in the bathtub, with the phone right by me if I need an ambulance and just boil the stuff I need myself after I deliver. I'm STUCK!

[IwannaBanRN]

Originally Posted by meesh933 

If you do decide you want a midwife, many are really, really flexible with payment. One I interviewed last pregnancy would've given me like 9 months after baby was born to pay, and I know my midwife has been really flexible with payment and bartering with other clients. I just wish I had some skill I could use to barter with her! All I can do is make jam, and it would cost a whole lot of jars of jam to cover her fee!
 

Not around here, unfortunately. The only one that WAS willing to work with me as far as payments would be going on vacation most of the month of November and wasn't taking patients unless they were due either in October or December.
 

[SoCaliMommy]

I'll probably by supplies next month. My list so far is

1- peri bottle
1- eldon card
1- keepsake birth certificate
1- soothing herbal bath
1- cord band

I plan on buying a digital fish scale and just using a ring sling to weight baby in.
I also plan on making my own shirt that says born at home on it and have the kids help with that would be a fun activity.

[Lula's Mom]

I have not done a thing!  I sort of feel like eh, I have done it twice, what's there for me to do but show up...     

I do already have a pool, because there was a shipping snafu when I had baby #3 and they mailed me two.  I have leftover chux pads too.  I need Depends (love them for my postpartum bleeding), some embroidery floss to tie the cord, and some new scissors.  Other than that, I just need a carseat. 

[meesh933]

Originally Posted by IwannaBanRN 

Not around here, unfortunately. The only one that WAS willing to work with me as far as payments would be going on vacation most of the month of November and wasn't taking patients unless they were due either in October or December.

That sucks. I'm lucky in that we live in an area with a decent number of midwives, so there's always other options.

[Paigekitten]

That's why I have midwives, DH would be really freaked out.  He knows I'm planning not to need them during the birth, but I think it's a big comfort for him knowing they are just a phone call away.

I still need to get some birth supplies ready.  I want to make a birth blanket, and I should pick up a cord clamp and some gloves for the midwives.  I already have the birth pool from DD2.

[IwannaBanRN]

I just wish I could have gotten a midwife. I still could get one, and have medicaid cover midwife care and birthing in a birth center, but medicaid will not cover homebirth, which is what I want........

[meesh933]

Originally Posted by IwannaBanRN 

I just wish I could have gotten a midwife. I still could get one, and have medicaid cover midwife care and birthing in a birth center, but medicaid will not cover homebirth, which is what I want........

I loved my HB, but if I could get a birth center covered, I'd go for it. Paying my MW out of pocket sucks. And I always tell people "a birth center is just a homebirth you drive to." Usually I'm saying that because ppl think a BC is somehow safer than a HB, but in this case, it really is pretty much the same - just free!

[Paigekitten]

 I would pay out of pocket even if I could get a free birth center, because being in the car in labor makes me miserable

[IwannaBanRN]

Ya know, I've actually been thinking of becoming a midwife someday, and I KNOW for a fact, I would take payments if the person couldn't afford all of it up front. I don't want people to be without resources to have a healthy birth just because they don't have insurance or not enough cash. It's not fair. :(

[birdhappy85]

Agreed, Becky! Everyone should be able to have the option of a natural at-home birth if they want it. It's not fair that women are actually forced to give birth in a hospital setting just because of finances, or else they end up with an UC. During my pregnancy under the care of a midwife, I've been thinking this entire time how wonderful it would be to be a midwife too, or even a doula or other provider in this arena. They are definitely demanding jobs, but I can only imagine how rewarding they must be!

[IwannaBanRN]

That's  why I wanna do it. Not only would more people be able to see me that weren't necessarily financially prepared, but I know I'd find the work rewarding. That's why I want to be a nurse, but I don't know if the hospital setting would be for me just because I don't like how mainstream medical works.

[birdhappy85]

I always wanted to go into a healthcare field but then realized it would aggravate me more than it was worth if I had to administer treatments and such that I believed so strongly against. I almost wish I was still as oblivious as I used to be about the way mainstream medical works. Life was a lot less stressful when I was in the dark! lol. You know what's funny is that my midwife told me she has several pregnant clients planning natural home births who work at hospitals, work under OB/GYN's, and even OB/GYN's themselves! LOL! That's saying a lot when an OB physician doesn't even want the medical model of healthcare overseeing their childbirth.

[IwannaBanRN]

That makes it even MORE awesome! I signed up to watch a live homebirth in late September and she is a doctor. Dr. Nancy.

[SoCaliMommy]

I just got a phone call from our insurance that makes me want a UC even more. They want me to sign paperwork for myself and baby before even being admitted to the hospital ( I never had to do that with my son who was born at a different kaiser hospital ) and then they were trying to get me to pay a $250 co pay now... Umm wtf that is just crazy ( with my son we had a $200 per day co pay that we didn't pay because honestly we didn't think of it and we signed out AMA when he was 6 hours old.)

Dh thought that was crazy them trying to get a co pay now and he said he's still not sure about having a UC, i pointed out the few supplies I want to get are roughly $20 can't be much for shipping and then buying a decent digital fish scale to weigh baby I have a ring sling we can use as a sling to weigh him in and then the $16 to get a copy of birth certificate to get him a SS card which we'd have to pay for that copy eventually since its needed to start school.

[seraf]

What a fast summer!  I'm not sure if anyone remembers me, I'm preparing for a UC because my last birth was precipitous and I worry that this one will be even faster.

So, for supplies I have:

Fetoscope

Towels

blankets

fleece to keep the bed dry

Diapers and clothes

string to tie the cord

Stuff I still need:

Nose sucker

New scissors

Birth stool 

I will package up the towels and blankets in a brown paper bag and bake them to kind of sterilize them, like we did before my last 2 births.

My big question is about older kids.  Are yours going to be present?  My kids can go with my mom or their other mom.  Depending on time, behavior and if they're awake, of course.  My kids are 8 and 6.  They both say they want to be there, but in a different room watching movies.  We aren't really sure.  DS says, "If I'm asleep, don't bother waking me up."   

Edited by seraf - 9/16/11 at 8:11am

[IwannaBanRN]

So DH and I had a serious serious talk last night about UC'ing and it involved me crying and stamping my feet and telling him what I feared if I did go to the hospital to have the baby. I have a lengthy birth plan which leaves everyone basically hands off except DH, who would be my birthing coach and I'm afraid that I'll be treated like a lepar for asking so many things out of protocol, or have them do things I don't want anyway, etc. DH said that if they wanted to take one step out of my birth plan that we could leave and that he would be my advocate. DH is very afraid of infection to baby because all of us have MRSA(Staph infection super bug). I haven't had an outbreak in months, but my daughter gets them regularly and DH gets them too. I hadn't thought about that until last week when my mom brought it up. My uncle died at 10 days old due to staph infection in the cord. He was my grandma's first, so I'm sure that she was ignorant to cord stump cleaning and whatnot. I want to be strong to my beliefs and be empowered to do this at home, but the staph infection risk in our home would be too great, wouldn't they?

[Lula's Mom]

But Becky, you will be bringing a newborn back home to the MRSA anyway!  And you and DH, if not the kids, will be touching the baby in the hospital (which itself is not guaranteed to be MRSA-free;  boys have contracted MRSA in their circumcision wounds at the hospital!)  If that's the reason for a hospital birth, it doesn't make much sense to me.  Are you all on an aggressive treatment, trying to get rid of the MRSA?  I would be worried about bringing in a baby if we all had it, but not really about the place of birth.

I think you really, really want a UC.  I understand your DH's reluctance, but I hope he will step up and support you.  You CAN do this, it's a really beautiful way to have a baby!

As far as the cord, I have found that the less you do to it, the faster it heals and falls off. Alcohol etc makes it take longer. The only thing I ever put on it is a little breastmilk, if it look a little gooey.

Hi, seraf!  My older kids have been present for their siblings' births.  Dd when she was 3 and 8, and ds when he was 5. It was awesome!  When dd was 3, my mom was there to help out with her.  For the last baby's birth, it was just me, DH, ds and dd. The older two were right there, watching (and dd filmed it for me!)  Now baby #3 will be 26 months at the birth of #4, and he's so little I'm a bit worried he will want my attention too much during labor. If that's the case, I will call a friend to help take care of him.

I don't know what kind of nose sucker you plan to get, but I highly recommend something like the NoseFrida or Baby Comfy Nose, instead of a bulb aspirator.  They don't enter the nostril at all, and you get sooo much more out!  Plus they are easy to clean.  It's a bit of an adjustment, imagining yourself actually sucking the snot with your mouth, but trust me, nothing can get near you.