Unassisted Birth - Page 3 « Back to Group Discussions

[Lula's Mom]

I don't get it either.  Are you going to be raising the baby together or not?  If so, it starts now.  He loves and wants you, then he loves and wants the baby. How much discussion have y'all had about this?  If you argue, does he pull out the "it's not even MY BABY!" thing?  Or is he just acting as the father already?  If so, I think you need to let yourself go with it.  Let him be that.

 My oldest daughter is not my husband's (which makes it somewhat different I know, we don't have the complication of it happening while we were separated).  But he loves her just like he loves the kids we have together.  And he lays out money for her just the same. When we go out to dinner, he doesn't tell me that I need to pay her part out of the child support her dad gives.  We have savings accounts for each of the kids, and DH puts the same amount in for her that he does for our sons.  She has a dad for sure, but DH also supports her, emotionally and financially.

Does your ex intend to be involved? 

[Jaimee]

Originally Posted by IwannaBanRN 

Well, I'm sure that those procedures aren't covered by Medicaid, (which I've been fighting to get off and on this whole pregnancy) especially if they are done by a chiro, which I won't have Billy pay out of pocket for. It's not his baby that would need turning.

No, not likely, but one session for either would not be extremely expensive.  Generally moxi is quite inexpensive actually and your practitioner should teach your dh how to do it and send you home with a stick of moxi to keep doing it if necessary (though often baby turns with the first treatment).  Something to keep in mind.

[Paigekitten]

I'm pretty sure I'm not going to be UCing.  My iron levels are super duper low and given my history of PPH I am just not feeling like it would be wise for me.  My midwives want me to have iv fluids and pitocin right after the birth as a precaution, so I'm trying to decide if I want that or I am going to decline.  Ugh.  Anemia.  My worst enemy. 

[IwannaBanRN]

Originally Posted by Paigekitten 

I'm pretty sure I'm not going to be UCing.  My iron levels are super duper low and given my history of PPH I am just not feeling like it would be wise for me.  My midwives want me to have iv fluids and pitocin right after the birth as a precaution, so I'm trying to decide if I want that or I am going to decline.  Ugh.  Anemia.  My worst enemy. 

Well, you wouldn't be doomed to a hospital birth, would you? I mean the next best thing would be still being at home and your midwives coming with pitocin and an IV. You could probably further discuss IV's until you go into labor. I'm sure you could labor and drink fluids and just have the IV catheter in place for pitocin, couldn't you?

[Paigekitten]

No hospital birth, they would just want the iv catheter in place while I was laboring so they could get to a vein quickly if needed, and then they'd want to give me pitocin right after the placenta delivers to minimize blood loss. I was suppose to have that after my second birth (home birth, same midwives) and I declined in labor, but then I passed out and my iron was higher then it is this time around, sooooo I can tell they REALLY don't want me to decline this time around. 

[IwannaBanRN]

If you want to avoid the hospital, I'd do it. I'm sorry you have to give up a UC. :( I'd gladly switch with you. I'd love to have a midwife.

[seraf]

Everyone getting their supplies together?

Last night I ordered a scale, peri-bottle and scissors. That somehow makes me feel more prepared.

[IwannaBanRN]

I ordered a simple scale from walmart.com for site to store shipping yesterday. I feel like I have everything else I need.  Oh, except I still want to get some new scissors for the cord.

[Krystal323]

hehehe...I really need to locate the things i want on hand, and maybe place a small order or two.  we haven;t had much money so i havent been thinking about it. 

really if the babe came tomorrow, we´d make do--but there are so many little extras that would be nice to have.  I especially want art paper to make a placenta print--before encapsulation, of course =D

[SoCaliMommy]

I'm giving up on having a UC, I've started to realize how I'd rather enjoy the little time Dh will have off work because it won't be paid time off so he won't take alot off . I'd rather enjoy it than be stressed over having to get to a meeting with the health department to get a birth certificate. My plan is to stay at home as long as possible we are 45mins freeway drive without traffic from the hospital. I also plan on eating and drinking what i want, what can they do kick me out during labor.I also plan on leaving AMA depending on how I feel, I did it with my son's birth. In a emergency we could go the hospital that is a 35 min side street drive away.

[IwannaBanRN]

I'm sorry, Kami. That's just sucks. I hope that you can have as natural a birth as possible in the hospital. There is absolutely no way I'm going to the hospital unless he's breech or an emergency comes up. And I will be very firm about that to DH. He knows that once I have my mind made up, there's almost no changing it. He has to understand how this birth will be healing for me.

[SoCaliMommy]

I was able to have a natural birth with Ryker in a different kaiser hospital,had the support of a amazing doula. I'm hoping i can this time also ( I'd love to have her support in person again but she moved out of state and I doubt we could afford her, with Ryker my mom paid for her to be our doula), with Ryker I was holding on a phone conversation at 8cm telling my dad his grandson would be born soon.

[IwannaBanRN]

You can do it, momma. Sometimes you just have to be firm about what you want and why.

[Jaimee]

Originally Posted by SoCaliMommy 

I'm giving up on having a UC, I've started to realize how I'd rather enjoy the little time Dh will have off work because it won't be paid time off so he won't take alot off . I'd rather enjoy it than be stressed over having to get to a meeting with the health department to get a birth certificate.

Is this the only reason?  Or are there other things adding to it as well?  If it is the only reason, there's no rush on getting the birth certificate in the first few days.  Have you looked into what steps have to be taken in your state?  It's usually not that complicated and it's likely you could download the forms or get them by mail ahead of time and then just turn them in when you get the chance.  Seriously, in Maryland we just made a phone call and a nurse came to us and filled out the paperwork.  Here, our mw fills out the paperwork (with dh as the birth attendant) and then we turn it in.  So she has the forms, which means anyone could get the forms.  I just don't want you to give up on the birth you want (if a UC is what you want) b/c of some paperwork, which may be a lot simpler than you think.
 

[SoCaliMommy]

Mainly that and Dh not being sure about it.  I had called vital statiscs and they don't send a packet til after baby is born, I found a outdated PDF saying how dad needs yo be present for the health department meeting. Dh won't be taking much time off because he won't get paid for the time off.

I plan to bring snack and drinks, I'd love to see them try and kick me our during labor for ignoring the no food/drink policy. I also plan to leave AMA depending on how I feel. I felt great after my med free birth with Ryker and left AMA when he was 6hours old to go home to sleep in my own bed, the pp room at that hospital was tiny and a shared room it was horrible, no way I was gonna stay.  According to the web tour this hospital's pp room is a private room.

[IwannaBanRN]

Why the hell does the government make it so damn difficult to have a baby how you want? They make it impossible for so many people, it's unfair. What if your DH were overseas or something if he were in the military?

[Jaimee]

Originally Posted by SoCaliMommy 

I had called vital statiscs and they don't send a packet til after baby is born, I found a outdated PDF saying how dad needs yo be present for the health department meeting. Dh won't be taking much time off because he won't get paid for the time off.

I don't want to keep pushing this if you aren't really invested in a UC anymore, but if you still really want that the above information doesn't sit right with me.  CPM's are legal in California and therefore there are a lot of homebirths going on.  Those CPM's are probably all carrying a bunch of birth certificate packets.  Most likely those CPM's are also helping those parents fill out that paperwork and probably filing it for them.  I seriously doubt that dad needs to be in attendance to turn in the packet.   If a meeting needs to take place, it should be able to happen at your convenience.  When a nurse was sent out to our house, it happened within a week of the birth and took about an hour.  We could pick the day and time.  Perhaps it could be on your dh's lunch break or he could take just a few hours off from work instead of a whole day.  So if it were me, I would get in contact with someone who can give you answers about how this is really done.  Find some CPM's and email them.  Find some experienced doulas and ask them.  Post in the Finding Your Tribe section here on MDC.  Post on some local parenting groups for how other homebirthers and UCer's have done it recently. 

If you want a UC,  the birth certificate process should not make or break your birth wishes. 
 

[SoCaliMommy]

Dh wouldn't be able to really take time off for a meeting easily, we live roughly about from his work since we moved.there is alwaysmthe chance of a oops UC since we are 45mins from the hospital and I plan to try and stay at home as long as I can