Writing a personal reference for foster/adopt family

[amyx4]

I need to write a reference for a foster/adopt family. The topic is the family's ability to care for children. Could someone give me some hints as to what I should (or should not) write. I want to do a good job but I've never written anything like this before. Thanks for all your help!!!

[CrunchyChristianMama]

It's good to describe qualities that you would attribute to them as parents and then provide examples to back that up. 

Don't try to make it too sugar-coated and fake sounding.

They most often like to hear about how attentive they are as parents, how well they handle stressful situations with kids, and whether or not they are a team with their kids.

[Polliwog]

I had to do a few for my son's older sister's adoptive family (for their new state) and I just wrote what I know (I know mom a lot more than dad.) The types of things that they like to do as a family, a bit about how they interact with their daughter and other children, stuff like that.

[queenjane]

My agency just had pre-printed forms with set questions and like two or three lines for answers. Plus, they give those forms to the potential adoptive parent, who gives it to the reference, who then gives it back to the parent who turns it into the agency. I guess that must not be the norm!

[Tjej]

I wrote one once.  The adoption worked out, so it must have been fine. :)  I wrote about their character traits and about how I'd seen them with children.

Tjej

[SpottedFoxx]

Ours were written by close friends and they wrote what made them feel that we'd be good parents and one couple wrote that we are the only non-family people who'd they trust their children with (which we found very touching).

[marsupial-mom]

If it's true, I'd write about things like patience, stability, values. If it's true, I'd write about how they have regular family dinners and strong connections with the community.

[christophersmom]

I wrote one for a friend last year. I googled adoption reference letters to get a general format then customized it to the family.

Things I knew like that the DH coached the son's basketball team, we were in a diverse playgroup together (important because they were doing a trans-racial adoption), family vacations we had taken with them and how family time is important. How the siblings were eager for a new brother and sister, how the family supported us through our own adoption, etc.

They now have a little boy, 7 months I wrote the letter last summer.