New to this site and natural parenting, need help getting started

[Mummydoodle]

Hello,

Thankyou for taking the time to read this post! I have two small children, and for the past three years I feel we have gradually been drowning under an slowly increasing tide of toys. I have recently read Simplicity parenting, You are your childs first teacher and Heaven on Earth and I feel like I really want to change our family life. I have starting donating some of the toys to charity shops and hiding some things away, but I feel I have a long way to go! I also have a slight problem with family continually buying toys and presents for my kids and I don't want to hurt their feelings by saying no. What do I do?

I also need some help /ideas on helping my kids with creative and imaginative play. I'm hoping that by getting rid of some toys that they will play better and for longer with fewer things around.

Has anybody here been in this situation? Any help or advice would be gratefully recieved!

Mummydoodle xxx

[raqi]

Hello!

It sounds like (from your reading list, anyway) you might be interested in a Waldorf-type approach.  There's a Waldorf forum here on Mothering that could be helpful.

Does your family ever ask you for wishlists?  If they do, maybe you could specify experiental gifts (museum memberships, etc.) or find some nice handmade things on Etsy.  Or you could casually bring up in conversation that you're buried under a mountatin of toys and don't think you could fit in one more thing!  That might give them a hint.

Good luck!

[whozeyermamma]

I find that both my kids 8 and 14 mo play more with their toys and enjoy them more when things are orderly. Not sure if this is personality or not but ...

When DD was little I would simply take about half of her stuff and pack it away - swap it out now and then. I also found that she really loved (and still does) like it when we group like toys together. So all the doll stuff is in one bin, the blocks and building stuff in antother bin, the food and kitchen stuff together, etc.

DS even as a baby seems to enjoy this - all his balls are together, all his wheel toys are together. We have some things all bunched together in bins too so he can pull them out one by one and pick which one he wants ...

Mostly when it comes to stuff, up until DD was about 5 - if it was not a toy we approved, we'd donate it. Now we can't get away with that - but family are more likely to ask what she wants/needs.

[Mummydoodle]

Thankyou for the advice! A gift list is a great idea, as is experience gifts. I think I might also say to people they are only allowed to buy one toy and if they wish to spend more then they can put money into the kid's savings account. We have a birthday looming and I have been dreading the avalanche of toys!

[newmamalizzy]

I recently packed away about half of DD's toys because I was feeling like things were cluttered and she wasn't playing with any of them.  I arranged them  with just one or two toys on each shelf of her toy-cubby-thing.  She definitely hasn't missed the hidden toys (and it's great to have them for rainy days), and she plays more with the toys I've highlighted.  You're definitely on the right track. 

[parsley]

My DD is 3 1/2 and one thing I've found really useful is periodically sitting down with her and going through all the toys and stuff in an area.  I let her decide what should be packed away, what should be donated for another kid to enjoy, what should be thrown away and what she wants to keep out.  We put the things in four piles and she is GREAT at both doing this sorting and deciding to only keep what she wants. With stuff she's on the fence about but I think she doesn't really play with, I convince her to pack it away and promise to get it back out if she decides she wants it.  Now, the only toys in our living room are some dress up stuff, "dolly", musical instruments, and books.  In the playroom we have a doll house, blocks and art supplies.  In her room, stuffed animals and books.   I've been actively doing this with her since she was 2. 

DD is also the ONLY grandchild on either side of the family and she gets inundated with gifts of all sorts.  A few times I got angry with my parents about this and they stopped giving her huge piles of stuff.  Now they give her little toys when they see her (that often get put in the trash pile a few weeks later) and they ask my preference for big presents for Chanukah and birthday (Train set, membership to museums, etc...).  My in-laws consistently bring 12-15 items for DD.  DH told them not to bring plastic garbage because they were ruining the planet one time in a fit of anger so usually it is books, toys of some quality, or art supplies. 

Despite these requests, she still gets WAY TOO MUCH.  So, in addition to the sorting we do together, I have embraced the idea that I can't control what people give her but I can control what stays in my house.  I routinely donate items that DD has never opened or played with.  Sometimes she gives her ok, sometimes she never even noticed the item because it's in the midst of so much other stuff. 

[gitanamama]

We've just discovered a toy lending library at our local community college. It allows us to check out a few toys (for free!)  and then trade them for new ones each month. It's a great way to rotate toys without spending any money. It may be worth it to google "toy lending library" or "toy lending center" in your home city to see if you have one near you. 

If you have other mom friends, you could also organize a toy swap. With fewer toys, I find it's helpful to switch them out or rotate every once and awhile so that my little guy doesn't get bored. Maybe other moms you know would be interested in trading (permanently or temporarily) some toys, that way, both families would have something new. Things like puppets and a puppet stage, costumes, and simple dolls and a doll house, all lend themselves to creative play. If your kids are used to more interactive toys (things with lights and music or talking, etc.) it may take them a little while to get their imaginations "in gear" but you can encourage them by helping them build a fort or put on a puppet show.

I also think if you can incorporate your kiddos into your everyday work and routine, they probably won't even need many toys. If you encourage them to work alongside you while you do household chores, they'll probably love the "responsibility." Most kids love to help cook and with a child size broom, even cleaning can be fun. 

We're working to clear our house of most of the plastic "junk" we've accumulated and make the shift to more simple, quality toys as well. Right there with you mummydoodle!

[Mummydoodle]

Thankyou everyone for your fab ideas!

The clean up in our house continues, am going to get the kids to help sort some toys tomorrow. Am going to ask them to give some of the toys they don't play with anymore to charity. I've already put loads of toys and baby books into bin liners and they haven't noticed yet.

I think I'm going to extend my decluttering to the rest of our house; I've got loads of bath stuff/ beauty stuff/old jewelery etc that i've accumulated over time and my cupboards are fit to bursting. Am gonna giftlist everyone this Christmas for sure!

[foreverinbluejeans]

How lucky you all are! I was a single disabled mother with 3 kids. My kids didn't get presents from anyone. Their fathers didn't get them anything and none of their grandparents. We all have a rare genetic disease and sometimes we would get food or gifts from a charity a hospital social worker would turn our names in to. The help that was the best came from friends and strangers that found out we were in need and gave us food, toys, clothing, and help.

If it is at all possible it is much better to find a family in need and give to that family. Often the charities you give things to don't really help the people that need help. If you give to a thrift store even their prices are too high for families with kids that are frequent visitors to childrens hospitals or have disabled mothers. Sometimes mothers of chronically ill kids can't even shop thrift stores because they have no one that can watch their special needs child.